| Show I LINC LINCOLN OLN TN THI TODY Anecdotes Saws a and Sayings that Made His Meaning ClearL Clear T ORD LYONS punctilious diplomat LORD L unmarried t England's Eug vi minister at al Washington ton had called at the flit White Zite WhiteHouse H House o liS C as other ministers s were acre calling in iu the other oilier capitals of the world to announce to President Lincoln the betrothal of the prince 0 of If Wales Vales ales J It was aas a very solemn occasion occasion olle one occasion one o of f the international ceremonies that called for all the dignity o of diction and rotundity o of f phrase which an all English minister could com com- mand Secretary Seward with L ith in read inward gs as qs to the manner in ill which the plain Lincoln learned more in ill the Bible than in the phrases of diplomacy would reply was nevertheless constrained to bear the minister company compall Lord Lyons had his announcement cut the full width of the court cloth May ay it please your excellency he observed observed ob ob- ob- ob served ved I I hold in ilz iii my hand au an autograph let- let tar from front my nY royal mistress Q Queen Victoria which I 1 have been beau commanded to present to J your excellency In it she informs ill your cx- cx 11 that her liar son Salt his royal t highness i r the prince of If Wales IVales ales is is about to contract a matri- matri alliance with liar her royal hi iii li ess the Princess d A Alexandra lexandra o of Denmark Lord Lyons Lolls returned Mr r. r Lincoln with l th a all due duc solemnity go go thou and do like- like wise rinse That rejoinder gained an all international circulation It is one olle example of the wit at o of f Lincoln which had always under tinder it a tan Ian tang of nf humor that was irrepressible LINCOLN story stor has come more moro to mean n. however however how how- A ever cYer some anecdote that Is pat t tc an emergency Ever since the tho great mans man's death thero there havo been Leen industrious collectors of ot Lincoln stories stories- and and Indeed Old Abes Abe's Jokes Fresh from Abrahams Abraham's Bosom made a n fairly sizable volume before Booths Booth's bullet cut short tho the career of or tho on ono one man to whom the ration nation might well look for adequate solution of ot all tho fearful problems consequent upon tho the Civil Chi I War The assiduity in collection has continued during the Yet let tOda doubtful whether the tho generations today it is even en I most Lincoln's life could astute authority authority- on vouch ouch for Cor forthe I Ithe the tho authenticity 0 of man many Lincoln stories universally ac- ac I d as his r Wi W- I i Js equally q-il q doubtful whether hundreds of ot pungent c A told around tho world orld do not belong 1 at t least c b by light of sponsorship to that foremost American t raconteur tur About all an th the tho more well authenticated dories atones attributed attributed attributed at- at to him there Uuro is a characteristic savor unmistakable I lo to the faithful student of his humor lIe Ho never 1 hesitated ted to tell a stor story because the tho point of It cut into his own vanity vanity probably probably because of at all aU men ho lu had d the least was as far from beins beIng being be- be ing ins a mere punster yet It occasion could bring from him a pIa play on words wards usually with a Do r rea real e a 1 laugh in itA it ft A New Nev York Tork firm f sit while he was Voas practicing law in n Springfield field wrote asking for the facts as asto asto to the tho financial standing of a a. neighbor Ho red replied re- re plied d as commandingly ly lyas as ho could I am well acquainted with him and know his cIr cIr- First of all he lie has a wife and baby they ought to be worth 30 00 to any my man Secondly ho has hasan hasan an office in which thero there are lre three chairs worth say Jl 11 and a table worth UW Last of all there thero Is In one corner a B large rat hole which is worth looking Into Inlo Re Respectfully A LINCOLN It was as always always always' a mystery to President Lincoln's friends frends wh why ho so 80 r resolutely sank tank political rivalries and did 1111 not hesitate to appoint to the highest offices within his gift en who were his most ambitious rivals When ho 13 was elected te his cabinet held one secretary at least who was notoriously a candidate ato for the prel- prel nomination That particular cabinet office needed needed needed need need- ed urgently an administration of the utmost energy an and that particular cabinet officer was giving it Just the tho vigor its administration required rho Tho political protests pouted poured In Lincoln finally gave gae his homely reasons for retaining his appointee See Sec here he t d one ono of his most protesting friends you jou OU were raised on a farm tann weren't you ou You ought to know what a fly chin is My 1 brother and I were plowIng plow- plow lag Ing corn on a Kentucky farm ho he held tho plow pIon while I drove the horse Mighty laz lazy horse that laziest you zou ever saw law But all of a a. sudden that horse dashed across tho the field Held so fast tast that even my long legs less could hor hardly ly keep koep pace with him When we wo reached tho the end of ot the furrow I 1 saw an enormous fly chin on him am and knocked it off What did l you IOU do that for asked m my brother I It Why h I answered I cant can't let that horse be bitten bitten bit bit- bitten it- it ten up iou rou cant can't oh eh said 1 my brother Why h you ou num- num n- n kull that fly ny was all that mado made him go Jo Now ow concluded ed the President If It any member of ot tho c cabinet happens to have a a. presidential fly chin biting biting bit bit- It- It ing lug him Im I'm going to keep him and his chin fly chin lly too if lC GUI only the pair of ot them will plow Illow the furrow quickly v. v j no story of ot Lincoln's Lincoln's Lin Liri t coln's coins was os told under graver ra vcr conditions and with more emphatic application ap ap- application IP- IP 1 than that which Ich closed the famous inter inter- interview cr- cr y view on the steamer River Riv Rv- Rv lv- lv r vr er or Queen at Hampton ton t toads between fir Mr 11 Lincoln Lincoln Lin Lin- ln- ln t L coln coin S Seward Howard j r. r a and 1 the peace commissioners commis commis- il of tho the Confederacy ler- ler acy rho The discussion bad had r reached Its kernel slavery er ThA the rhe southern cr i rn argument In iii I an all uli Its Impressive force r r toa toa to tn consent ent vias brought orward lt if the tho South were to con a peace on the bullS basis ot of emancipation of the slaves es the tho entire 1 f southern society would be plunged ced would be done nothing noth- noth lute into Irremediable ruin No work in ing would be cultivated whIles and i blacks irks alike aHk must starve tur e for the treed freed slaves slaves accustomed to overseers ers abstain wholly from labor The President nt walled for tor Seward to make some ome effective cf- cf c r JoIner But the experienced statesman could SUld SUldan rind find no cogent reply At length LIncoln framed the tho answer an- an liwer In a n story culminating In a phrase that J IH grivo va common com coin mon won cUrr currency ncy to a m m coined among the ino log iob off cabins of negroes rind and m poor whites whiles Go Gl tJ ll men nd addressing the your your ourI our I 1 Statement of ot tl tKo the conditions reminds mo me of a man out In Illinois b by tho the name of ot Ca Case o. o who undertook to raise a n vcr very l large laree herd of oC hogs hos But Dut as the they grew it became too big big- a n. Job to feed them Finally he ho planted an menso field In potatoes and as soon as the potatoes s sVere were Vere fairly grown frown turned the whole herd into tho the field Held Tho The hogs did their own digging and ho he leaned over o tho the fence proud of ot his lea idea A neighbor camp came alon along Well Yell well Mr Case Casc ho remarked this Is a arand afrand rand grand idea But Dut butchering time is Ss way oft off in December December Decem Decem- ber bet and tho the tro frost t. t comes earl early Before you ou are ready to kill hogs hogs hogs' ground round will bo be frozen a n foot toot dee deep Caso Case scratched his h I. I and ana thought It over ocr but thc there was only one answer and he gave It I suppose it'll go pretty har hard with their snouts but nil all I can seo see for tor It Jt is root hOI hog or die l If the men of ot the tho Grand Arm Army still survive b by the thO thousand there theto must bo be survivors hors by tho the hundred from tho the ranks of those geniuses and wiseacres wise who during durin the long Ion and terrible strain of the tho Civil War ar devised le Infallible plans for tor ending the Confederacy in a Jiffy One of ot them was a farmer who succeeded In reaching the tho President after days dos of insistence Lincoln waylaid waylaid way way- laid during somo some moments of his scant leisure heard JJ him with his usual patience p through tho the whole rig rJ marolo marol of or tho the plan Then Then- Ill answer you OU with a stor story There was a man In chi Chicago who never ne did a u. stroke of work in his life One om da day ho went wild over o a Jump in the price of or wheat He lie hurried off ott to a famous wheat speculator and md laid ld b before him a n plan b by which both of them should become rich rici before nightfall That What do you OU think of ot that ho Well clI answered the grain operator my advice Is le that you ou stick sUck to your our business But Dut asked d the visitor what is my business Darned If I know rejoined the operator But Dut whatever h it is 18 you SUCK stick to It There were a number of amateur r heroes who were convinced that their services ser were needed as officers in inthe Inthe inthe the ann army previous experience counted for tor little in the tho estimation of at most of them Among the mass of applications applications that passed to the President for his review rc was J one in which tho the writer modestly requested appointment to a n generalship and a quick ono one at that It was unfortunate that ho he had not specified the tho brand a of ot general ho preferred and a clerk was anxious to file flIe it ft at least in its proper category Lincoln supplied supplied supplied sup sup- P plied the tho missing detail detolL He wrote prole role Major General I reckon A. A Lincoln lIE HE famous stor story of or how tho the President refused a pass through the army lines to an applicant who had hatI been refused by soy sev several I eral oral members of 01 his cabinet cab cab- r w t I inet met on the tho score that he had very little influence ence with the administration i 1 f tion was paralleled on ona ona a more moro important occasion occasion occa occa- Ve v sion slon when G a General e n e 0 r ra a l I Phelps early e in tho the war scar look took possession of ot Ship island near Now Orleans The Tho gon general g promptly Issued a magniloquent proclamation freeing the slaved Jave That was WIlS something no general had tho the smallest right to do but President Lincoln who ho ho was n nl always cau cautious In fn nn any action that might have hao o far tar COnj consequences took no notice o o 0 It l Finally ln lly u 0 Mend told 01 old 1 him that his hU apparent indifference to his generals general's generals general's gen gen- eral's oral action might put him In a Do false rahle position Oh returned tho President I feel feol about It a a. goo good oo deal as t Jones Jonea did tIld about his wife wire Ho Ito was waR a R pre pretty m meek ek sort eort of a man und and mu much h henpecked One day daj ay after his had bean n seen driving him OHL of ot the with a a. h a n friend said suld to him U Jones Ivo Ive taken n your our part whenever any anyone one declared do- do clo dared you a 01 old 1 Idiot but an any man wh who lets his wife beat him ought to bo be horsewhip horsewhip- pod ped Jones Joncs patted his hla friend on the tho back baek Dont you OU w WI ry about me m-c. he rejoined it didn't hurt mo any and youve you've no idea ldoa what a n. power of good it did In my Sarah Ann Probably the most celebrated case caso of alleged d misuse t f f public funds was that of Franklin W. W Smith and his Is Isid Isn bf brother It was generally believed that tho the two men n ha had been brought before a military tribunal organized id to lo convict them to ruin their business to pursue them thorn m r ra relentlessly If for tor no other reason than as examples to others Tho The President when the tho case caso reached reache 1 him n si simply annulled the tho whole proceedings against them tham n T The Tho Boston Board of rado e. e while no ito record rd of or tho the terms of or his decision could be obtained from tho the 10 g State Department received a report of ot tho the Presidents President's a ju Judgment that was generally accepted as being close 50 to tc a n verbatim transcript of ot Lincoln's words It read id tl thus thus- Whereas Franklin W Smith had haa transactions tr with th th the Navy y Department to the amount of at and d w whereas ho he had tho chance to steal and was as ason cl charged with stealing only and 2200 and tho the question on onile n now Is about his stealing 1 I dont don't believe ho he stole ile ai anything at All Therefore the records and findings gs a are arc disapproved disapproved declared declared null and vol void and antI the tho defendants defendants de do- e- e i fondants arc are fully tully discharged T WAS AS said of ot Lincoln atthe at Bt atho tho the bar that when hoi ho i thought ho was wrong ig wrong h he was tho the weakest lawi lawer lawyer law law- wor w- w i yer er his colleagues ever evor or I saw sa In one caso case closely contested ho he had proved ed an account for tor a a. client mt r r i rt w who whom h o m tho the opposing ng I 11 counsel speedily exposed ed edis as an unmitigated rascal rascal ras ras- isic is- is cal oven even to tho the production production production ic- ic tion of a receipt for all aU aUtho tho the Indebtedness Lincoln K ha had claimed as being oln due ue Lincoln quIetly vanished from tho courtroom The he heip ju judge sr ge before nir giving his decIsion lon sent Mt for or him to ap- ap appear T pear near pear an nn coun counsel el for his client Tell tho the court sal said 1 Lincoln when Vohen the tho messenger jor found him at tho the neighboring hotel that J I cant can't como come mo mot over That case has left m my hands so ao dirty that t I must stay hero here to clean clenn them The war Governors of or the various states ha had 1 their pet peculiarities an and sometimes the tho air of tho White House and the departments was nono none too pleasant pleasant pleas pleas- i ant during their visits to Washington Ono One state Governor Gov- Gov filled to tho the brim with wrath over troubles Incident In Incident In- In to the drafts in his commonwealth went wont to Washington and had it out first with Secretary Stanton to a hugo huso Increase in his ire After a stormy storm interview such as ns Stanton alone could supply on domand de demand do- do mand tho the Governor betook himself to the tho President nt prepared to make mako the tho administration respect what ho he conceived to bo be his rights and those of his fellow fellow- cl citizens Three Thron hours passed while James B. B Fry who described de- de d de scribed the occurrence watched and waited for the tho outcome t At t length the Governor emer emerged ed smiling and autI lEons happy happ Mr Fa Fry went in to tho the President Weil ho he remarked I see sec you have sont tho the Gov Gov- Governor away satisfied Did you havo have to concede vor very much to him I I conceded conceded nothing Mr Lincoln responded I 1 simply worked around hIm and took hours doing doIn do- do In ing It And all alJ the tho time I was doing doln- It I was as In n mortal mor- mor tal a tear fear ear that he ho would find out what i |
