| Show r 1 r f A ENT sr r i rif t f c r r n ti I v ti 1 r. r O 1 rr iy i 1 t r I rV I II t I r F r f air y II r il 1 r. r i 1 1 ff r Kl M r f L S il ilM t i I N b f I t i f I I I i I i r 1 t it 1 q r II tD A k J r. r 10 t ll A 1 I rT Republican Special St Service Copyright 1907 1307 HA HAVE VE always us been noted fur for being a av avery v vel very e v y natured good-natured young young- man as ono If who would go a Ions long distance o out L of f his T L Cs YO way a y t t o 4 o-o o O q 1 b i Ij L rd d r friend l but T I T hew hay 1 lately discovered there 1 Is such buch a n. thins thing as Imposing on good na nature nature na- na ture tune and making too loo great a demand on friendship When a n man out of pure runs the risk of be being being beins be- be ing ins tent sent to Jail as a desperate crim trim criminal criminal inal anal and having his picture publish publish- published ed cd In ht the papers as a clever sneak thief It H Is time limo to draw a line and not be so willing to oblige e every Tom Dick and Harry HalT whom one happens to be he chummy with When 1 think of oC what a narrow escape I had it sends the thc shiver up and antI down my f i back and oven now I suffer from oc 7 f nightmares In which I Imagine Imag Imag- y inc ine I hear the thc click of handcuffs on my wrists ts and find the clang of a cells cell eel s 11 door This Is h. how It happened I am a haired fair young youn man of t two twenty rather rathel tall and and with t truddy a wf ru ruddy d complexion of a healthy girl I Iii ii have have- dazzling white teeth and large eyes and probably on this account I Ij Iwas j was always selected to play the leadIn leadIng leading lead- lead a In Ing feminine roles In our college I dramas When I was made up as a 1 girl Irl I simply looked the part to per per- rr r cellon and always made mado a a hiL hit 1 I tate state t all this for reasons which r. r will appear appeal later I may mention Y f here however C that my name Is Percy Montgomery and that I have com coin coins comI commenced s I my career as aM an Insurance r broker I dont don't know much about the thel l business S but hut my father fathel is well to vr has a pull with certain corporations und and so I have hopes of success t My Mr dearest friend and chum Is t Everett E E. Saunders Wo We were boys 7 to together and graduated from the i. i ASS fame samo mo college Everett has start started cd to tor r practice law and has ha already had one case In a a. police ponce court Ills client f. f forgot to pa pay him which was a shame for the mun man only got six nix months 4 when he might have received ed a year He lie was ungrateful enough too to fay say that If ho had hired another lawyer lawer he would have gone free froe 1 Everett Is a tall handsome fellow tt with a n silky moustache and was a n. great favorite with the ladies ladles Herc lie Ile rS to never nover seemed to care titre for fOI any particular par par- rc IJ j T titular girl until recently and now but wh why anticipate Ii o Ever CI returned from flom f ft ra his vacation la last t summer stunner he hc seemed scorned n. n i V- V to have nave Oi 10 lost t all a Interest In ill life liCe From X if ly being tho ho soul boul o of every evely gathering he JS' JS bocaine moody and moroso and wont y t I i t about aboul sighing like a bla blast t furnace y v Of coming cou o I 1 knew what tho the trouble 7 J wat was Hut tut I did not understand all the tho r details In the tho affair until he ho called R i at m my office orrice one ono aft afternoon and bogi bog bog- r i me to save C his life liCe L i How I asked I g Its this way Percy old man her he hc r began an Im In love Of OC course I replied the you have been going around looking hooking like a n dyspeptic compelled to J live 11 on fried frk-d d onions f I No 1 0 levity Percy Dont Don't breathe onions unions in Iho tho same breath with breath with this I love the thc sweetest t dearest little girl sirl In all the tho world Why Vh dont don't ou her then V VI you marry I 1 cant can't unless you OU help mo me Why Ill tell you Do you know Harrison lIar lIar- risen rison Eclair 1 s t Know that old mild beast with a nose rt tho the size size- and color of a beet and a wart under his eye eye- Know him 2 I Well I should till say so 80 lIes lIe's the president I dent of the tho Hott tuff Fire Insurance I com company pan Father got gol three of or his 1 helot befit risks away awny awn from him last week ly I do their business Got them all aU Insured In one of my companies o s- s t. t Easy easy Percy lies He's Ethels Ethel's I father i r Who J M Ethel His daughter daus Oh is It she That's remarkable I It Ethel is her fathers father's daughter i r i. i Perc Percy she ehe Is m my Ethel Do you ou mean to lo tell me that you oU ff arc are going to tr try and have that pur- pur Jur- Jur II r t ed e d. d l lobster eyed b r old IJ skin for fora a a. a law in Dont Perc Percy Ethel is beautiful Vo Wo met last summer Hummer We Ve lo loved lod d at i first sight Her ller father learned of or It and separated us He lIe and Ethels Ethel's mother have haxe high social aspirations The They want Ethel to marl marry Prince Ludwig on von stein a Bavarian nobleman with weak eyes and a coat of arms but buther buther her bel heart is ts true to me Well ell marry her then I can not unless you aid me Listen Ethel some soma lays days ago o managed manas-cd to let lei me know that she had refused the noble II Hof or This put her patents parents in a rage They Thoy discovered discover discover- ed that she sl had managed to communicate communicate communicate com with me mo through a servant and so thoy they have locked her up Inthe in inthe inthe the upper part of or the tho house Think of or it Percy they Percy they have havo locked m to Ethel up How did you ou find this out out from from old Beet Deet Nose 1 Yes s Yes He lIe came camo to my office In a at t terrible passion n fortunately no clients were present He lIe swore that Ethel should marry malTY and that he would woul keep her under lock and key until she came camo to her senses Ho Ilo denounced mo me as a shyster trying to lo steal his treasure and amI said sallI that he had found out the servant who had hol given me a note noto from Ethel and discharged dis charged eel het her Well what Is to be done I must elope clope with Ethel How can you accomplish It 1 Through you Through me Yes How can I r help belp you They y want an upstairs girl W What t. t They want wail an up upstairs girl gh 1 How can that help you Arc Are you going crazy JNo No Percy You must be bo the tho upstairs upstairs up up- stairs girl Dont Don't say a word until I hove have finished See here hero Is this oven- oven Ings Ing's paper My sister wants a cook and she sho asked mo me to look through the want ads In the papers paper's for Cor her She Sloe lives out of town you know So tonight to- to night I read down tho the columns of oC want ads a and see among them I II found this one I would not nol have read I It II only the name caught my eye eve Seo See and anci and Everett pol pointed to to an ad which toad read VANT WANTED Neat D-Neat Neat girl for lor upstairs upstairs up up- stairs stain work must have havo first first- clu class references reference Riverside ave Dont say MY a 0 word Percy Everett Everet wont went on on until I 1 have finished hed The moment I read that want ad an Idea flushed across me Beet Nose yes I IShall Ishall shall call him Beet Deet Nose too loo Beet Bee Nose discharged the girl who gave ga me Ethels Ethel's note and so the thc family must have another r. r You will wail be that tha girl Percy Porgy You have havo always been beens s such uch a good girl Percy on n the stage Ah Ahl You remember those old college plays You will wUl b bf be at tho ho house se bright and early in the morning uis is- is as WI a neat upstairs girl You will get gel the place You ah au heavens you will see Ethel Think of or that and speak to her Yo Ye gods and like c the thc good girl I girl I mean fellow that fellow that you are arc Percy you will slip my beloved Ethel 1 a note telling tolling her that she mu must l elope with me mo to make all arran arrangements ar ar- ran to write them thorn carefully y and give siva them to you You will give them thorn to me mt and then thun go back like a anice nice neat upstairs girl and anti help Ethel to got ct out o of tho the house Then farewell farewell fare fare- well to Beet Nose and antI Prince von Ion and away for fOI love lovo In Ina a cottage or a lint Hat Everett had rattled all all this oft off without stopping for fOl breath or giving me an opportunity to make moko any pro pro- test lest When ho stopped from tion I said You must be bo losing your our senses I never heard of ot such a crazy Idea T I pia play an ail upstairs girl Not ot much Dont Don't desert me mc Percy he cried with t tears ars In his voice It will lil bemy be be- bemy hem m my death if it you do You can do flo It all right You can mal make c up as a girl to perfection We Ye can go to a theatrical costumers costumer's r tonight and get geta a costume and wig and ancl a mal make up up c-up box You will make such a nice modest nodest pretty girl that you will bo I hired on the spot Dont desert me Think of or my happiness Your old chum Percy Think of or poor Ethel J. J who vho may be forced to marry Saenger- Saenger bund jund or whatever his namo Is and live In tn Bavaria and eat horrid smelling smell smell- U- U Ing ng cheese and smoky sausages and sour pickles Think of my sweet angel and myself and save us boot botn I. I But nut I have no character I pro pro- pro test I know v that you that you never never-l never I mean I I Ill I'll 11 write three you OU tonight regular corkers one from flom Mrs Liverpool de do of thc Sea one rom from Mrs Emerson Cann Cann-Beane of Murray l Hill and one from Mrs l Mer- Mer angue St. St of ot Central Park Southeast They will state that you loft their service because the work was not nol quite suitable to a person of your four refinement and that you OU can re return return return re- re turn to their employ whenever you desire at increased compensation Dont Don't desert me Percy Be an upstairs upstairs up up- stairs girl for fOl Just a a. few hours and save HaVO Ethel and myself You can practice making a bed before you start and dusting off a brac anti and airing tidies and combing a 0 poodle- poodle dog Save us Percy Save us Uti I looked at Everett Evelett in amazement You certainly are arc craz crazy I said mid The Idea is If perfectly ridiculous Why oven even If I was fool enough to do doas doas dou as u you ask uk I would only got get myself Into trouble Beet Noso hose and hl his wife to say KaY nothing of the other servants would penetrate my disguise In a iii minute No they wouldn't pried cried Everett You are ure so 10 clever you could deceive Ive them all and you would only have to play tho the part pUIt for COI a low few hours Then besides you you might find out something about Beet eel Noses private life me that might aid you In your business There might t bo be something I fin in that that Certainly Certain I Percy PeICY lIe He might drop a n list lilt of ot customers he i is 19 after aCter on the tho floor foor or tell his hla wife some Home secret In your hearing bearing that would he of tremendous tremendous tre tre- advantage to you Lets Let's form Corm an I antl-I antl et Nose society right here hare You get his business and I 1 get hl his daughter laughter After some further discussion Ev Everett finally persuaded d m nit mp flint I would not run any risk and I consented consented consented con con- to do a as he hA wished Then rhen came cantO the tine question of ot what sort of girl I should be c. c Bo no IIo a Swede Swede 1 said Everett Evelett they are ato so RO stupid you can cun be a Swede all rl right ht Never Nevor I 1 shouted I shall be bo boa bel a l French FIonch girl 1 I CUll can speak a little French and that will viii help hell me All right Percy hut huh keep your feel feet hidden as much as l possible Foi For Foia Fora a French girl they thoy will certainly be wonders NoW v what name are arc you to go under Marie Anne AniLe Lorraine that Lorraine that sounds like the real real thing I answered All right Mary MalY Ann I shall now proceed to give you a n first ela class s character char char- acter three acter-three three of ot them In fact and Everett drew up my desk and worked worked work work- ed eel away for an hour disguising his handwriting When he iw had finished I read them all nil and no going Into service could havo o had hatI more fluttering flattering testimonials On our OUI way uptown we stopped at ata ata ata a theatrical costumers costumer's and hired s n a neat dress a dark curly wig am and bought some grease paints We Ve next nett proceeded to Everetts Everett's room for tor a adress adress dress rehearsal I have always been lJean proud of or my dramatic talent and I must say that tha after I had made up as Marie Anne AnneI I L was proud of or m myself lt I wa was Indeed transformed into a pretty PItt girl with a n neat lace cap and a snowy white apron The Tho only thing thins I was troubled about was m my feet feel They The looked out of proportion whenever whenever whenever when when- ever the they poked out from lom under my skirt I neglected to state that after leaving tho ho costumers costumer's wo had purchased purchased purchased pur pur- chased a pair of or womans woman's shoes the largest size possible but the they pinched my feet teet in a terrible manner however However However How How- ever we managed to stretch them somewhat by prying the uppers with the small end of ot an Indian club and finally Anally I thought I 1 could manage to wear them without swearing for a afew afew afew few hours I next took a le lesson son in the art of oC b making bed dusting 1 U S' S sweeping and other delightful ex exercises from an old domestic employed by hy Percy's mother mothel Wo We told her that wo we were going g to take part in a play pIa and antI that I was to tobe tobe toe be e the careful female servant ser After tearing earing two sheets and breaking a lot lotof lotof of oC china shepherds and glass cut stun stuff on the mantel I managed to get the tho hang lang of oC the work rind find was declared proficient And suppose I said to Everett after It was WM all over I am not engaged engaged en en- bUsed what then t tIts Its a u cinch Percy y you'll oulI get the place lace Ill I'll back M Mary 1110 ry Ann against the Held field and Everett fairly danced r with Joy At 8 o'clock the next morning a n trim neat looking girl was ushered into the basement hall of or the lie Onder Onder- donk mansion I had hind dressed and made up carefully and at knew that I IVas Iwas Iwas was Vas safe from tram detection I had hud my tiny recommendations and anti a package of carefully stored away in one of ot my pockets and felt only a trifle nervous Everett Evetett had bo begged ed mo me notto not lIot notto to III take lle the but I 1 told him that even upstairs girls had some Home rights and that I ml might be bo able to get a puff pure or two unobserved in tho the seclusion of tn my room It looked like 0 an Ull international congress congress con con- gress i of or women In tho the basement hall hail It seemed to mo me that every evory land on the face of or the globe was represented except China Chinn There were some somo fierce looking faces faceR among amons- them and after I had hall sized up tip the collection I 1 If f felt lt sure SUro that the prize would fall to me One by one tine the hi ladles ill en were escorted escort escort- ed Into the morning room where 1111 Miry V were rc in inspected petted and questioned d b by Mrs Mrs- Each lach ono one was told fold So so I learned afterward that hat In case she was selected she would he lie notified later luter This meant of or course courso a polIto way of or telling thorn |
