Show I I I II I ELLA WHEELER WILCOX Says That hat Fl Unselfishness is the One Tiling Needed to Marriage a t Success Republican Special Service Copyright ht 10 1907 One day In Holland Holand I T saw twenty couples c married in a n half hour Hero Here Heroin Heren i in n Paris at the beautiful old Saint A Au Augustine ChUch church I saw on one young roun e couple go through ncr nearly an hours hour's hours I manoeuvres rc and 1 evon Nl Own thon the lie b ride and groom room did not seem eem to be r really eally realy w wedded There wore fe still sUI all al s sorts orts of church chulch anti and state tate proceedings t to o go through I could coul not help wondering If this c complicated marriage cermon ceremony of or F Franco Frane rance would prove pro ns as binding in as the tile t quick de despatch patch process of Holland Divorce Is growing more 1010 fOld and more f frequent fl In France willie while In Holland Holand i it i t Is an unpopular occurrence nce Trial Marriages Marriage e. e The Thc proposition of oC Eliza Elza Clews Cloves Parsons Par Par- ParI I s sons oils In her book bool The TIle Family to tomake tomake make male marriage a trial ceremony 5 seems It to sU suggest Ct unnecessary trouble a and nd expense for fol men and women Why h take lake the he time lime to go th a marriage c service lo er nt at till all ni If I tho he vows I n ore are to be lie of such luch elastic quality t tho he the law common common In wire wife would occupy occupy's a as a s dignified a n position otton before tile the world a ne tilt tho wt wife un trial Thou Thousands Tl of or happy nun mon and women women wo wo- o fl men tOla today eli are going oin- oin down into the valley of tt old age lo ln loving anti and ml beloved who havo Ilave experienced od periods of discord dis dis- ls- ls C cord wd and temporary disillusionment in iii t their heir early married e 1 lives It I Is 81 said b by the lie majori majority of wedded wedded wed wed- d ded od people that the first frt two years rs C of oC t domestic life are alc th tile tho most niost to tu p pass a s through The he dl divergence of or Ideas on the various van vari O ous ilS problems which life presents owIng owing ow ow- l ing ug to lo opposite l influences of education r render ender II time mo anti and association necessary ar t to tn o bring about a sympathetic common ground g of understanding Adjustment J X nl Two watch en from om th the lie same factory I need Iwed cal careful rul adjustment before they theyan c cnn can an bo ho m-at m made to keep exact time How much more lnora then do 10 two u non oeo- o- o pl pIe from different human factories need neel cars carl anti and adjustment before they mo move moIn In unison Few Fe bUS ls ess n associates have found I it t possible to make a a. success of or an enterprise without more or less leas mis ml- understandings Had Hal they dissolved l partnership at nt atthe the he sign of or dl discord cort thorn thero would L have e been no success achieved Because they had contracted to be bo associates for a period of time th they Y bli bridged cl ov over r their and anti I I forgot them eventually The man anti woman who took each cach bo ho pretty sure Mire other on trial trl would lre to separate at the tile fr first t. t misunderstand misunderstand- I In Ing ncr nd nc th tine the fr first l. l magnetic attraction lon either cither would bo he ht en encouraged en- en experienced by hy Into a a. llama ilamo Samo of passion slon until n left only Its bridges and onti It hume burned I blackened d ruins ruing ht behind be made a suc success Marriage e can never nc IC- IC cess cef b by auch a process There Is just one Inc onea a way vay anti and one made alone for marriage to bo ho fO sacred respectable and successful rul That Is by the realization of or the parties that life means contracting something besides partes the gratification of and desire und and evet every personal Impulse e aol and development of thit s self respect r lf-r character r are nrc of greater value In tho ho long run than what Is generally termed happiness s. s by mon many Happiness Is understood young youn 1 people to mean doing doln exactly as thy they want sant to do 10 at all al times hues and sacrifice a de- de never being heinA obliged l to lo the for impulse re or overcome an tir or or sake dike of or another I 1 know few fow people will acknowledge e edge c that this Is their Idea of happiness happi ne ness lull but hu a a. little Ito investigation of Or lives p-ov p proves it to be lie KO so 10 l cs Most young young- women marr marry with willi wih the question uppermost in their minds always always' Will VI he Id bo lt able ohIo to make mke me mile happy happ ilmo 1 True 1110 S Solution litt Many Ian young youn men ask a n similar question of their hearts when contemplating plating marriage But Bui T I believe more men than illan women begin marriage with wih unselfish ideals Instead the question queston should he be Will Vili VI I be he abe to In make him or her happy 1 Once nce the lie query takes that form Corm the problem is half hal solved The rik woman who believes site she h willbe will willbe wi h be satisfied so 80 long ns as she can cn make e her hel husband hapl happy Is not going to find much time for brooding over Ocr his failures to give her happiness She will vilL wi not see eo ills his failures unless the they are too flagrant And the same may be sl said of or the thc man manThe Tho The continual wish and und effort efort to give happiness creates cretes it I in the lie heart of or tlC the lie thinker and And it I arouses a similar purpose In Inthe inthe the thc heart of the object unless that obJect object object ob ob- ob- ob is wholly vicious anti and degenerate Unselfishness 8 not not license Is' Is needed cd to mal make marriage a success |