Show I FRAGMENTS OF FUN I I 1 really b believe said her Jealous fiance flammee fance that hat you ou permit other men to kl kiss kisa you j S SUel Surely you ou dont don't object et replied the ho prot pretty girl Youve always declared de do- you ou were opposed to mono mono- Philadelphia Ledger Mrs I I was afraid Mrs Casey that yet yer husband would be beald bo be laid ald up for sometime hut but 1 I hear hes he's rale raie quick S Mrs Casey Casey Aye Aye Shu Shur re I behave he hogan began to get w well 1 the minute he got gotsick sick sick Philadelphia Pr Press ss No o h he lie said Im Im not sure whether er cr my mr wife's Christmas gift to me was meant to please e me nie or to humble my 1 pride 1 I What did she give you ou She Shue had a crayon portrait of or me mema ma made e h by an amateur artist Eng Eng Eng English lish Ish Illustrated Magazine la How Ilo Is Josh ibm doln In his huis stu studies asked Farmer Farmel Not er very wI well vell answered the pro pro- fessor lie He le Is regular regula In attendance lint hut hO never ne answers rs ans nn any of ur m my ques flue Ions tons Its It's Hema lie Ilo Ilomay Well maybe a good sign ma may turn out to bp be hI one of or these hl big financiers Washington a Star Stal p J 5 Willie WillIe Say Say pop what hat a Pop Pop n I ft- ft Ul who gets m men men- n- n toned about ten years ears after aner hes he's dead Mr Ir Wombat Wombat Wombat-Loog yuh uh Claud Cau Dars Dar's a heap o ne I on about de fact dat dal yo ye 0 hugged Miss ss Smoot so o hand hahl at de le dance damice de tie e u udder er night dat yo lone done broke two ob her hel ribs Dc De genal opinion an ani dat dar ar wasn't no mm cir clr cr- cr and and amid Mr 11 De D De doose dar ilar ar wasn't Not ot castin an any deflections on do de Jad ad dess de lemme ax ax yo as man to man what kind uh Uk ribs was dem em to take taketo to a social function uh Puck The love lo e letter leter that is unwritten will wi not win you OU a bride e. e but it may maj maysa sa save you a lawsuit Detroit Free Fre 1 Press Springtime Springtime- stories Morle Private John Allen AJen former member mem mom ber her of congress congre s from flom Mississippi wain wa waMIn in town ton th the other othel du day While hll seated at luncheon with a coterie of or friends friend at nt the Au Auditorium the famous story storyteller storyteller teller related one of his best While hile hie 1 1 I was as In Iii Washington he said I employed a negro valet alet alet whom I took there from front m my own state stale He lIe le was a typical southern coon fond Cond o ored of red cd n neckties striped coJal collars and amil loud checkered trousers trouser One day a I purchased purchased pU pur pur- chased chase a pair of trousers trouser and amid I mil mu t confess that they lucy were wele the time real nol noise e. e I I r ha had them made from a sample that tha seemed simple enough but when the they lucy were mu made o up they the certainly were loud One IOne evening while I was out late laic laleon on omi an aim automobile ride we had an nn accident ac DC ac- ac cl and oil 01 from the machine was wa on m my new muon ne trousers I wen home and auth tol told m my valet to remove the grease The liue next day he brought Hought the trousers to me Massa Iama a a John he hue said Id I 1 kain gl git us dis grease oft off off Did Old you OU try tr benzine I Inquired Yes sah salt replied Sam I Soap and water Yes sah sah S Did you ou tr try ammonia I inquired ed at last Yes Ye sah ah I tried am on me am and dey jes fits sold said Sam prompt promptly I realized then that hunt Sam Sam wanted those loud pants and amid I gave go them to toI I him u I mu I am not afraid of or any am of these thee men who ilmo come Into the thc olce to lick me but hut I have lutc alwa always s 's fought th shy of an Irate woman declared ri ml r country editor edior yesterday who had huni come to town to confer with wih somo some of the local politicians While I know of oC several fellows have p been put to t rout b by women I have hae so far tar escaped whole and amid newer never came near but one licking b by a 1 woman wo we- man he hue continued She Sho was from froma a a. little town down the tho liver rix-er whom I Iha ha had written up when she he married a Utah bigamist She arrived ed In lii town with wih a n bl big blacksnake whip and a temper worked up to a 1 white heat She hc announced she sho was isas there I to whip me inc to t within an Inch of my life I tried to reason renson with wih her but of or no iio 10 avail aal She Site more angry each cacti flu minute I n U te Finally I said raid watching that whip all al the time line Now o dont don't you ou see Hec If IC I you OU whip me nue you yoi will wi just get Into a bigger bigger big big- ger scandal candal I certainly will vilh wi get got o en en with wih you h by writing up the he story of or how you yuu did l It I. I I had saved m my life The Flue fl woman thought ht a minute and then started fur CU Ut tho hue door Well 01 oll I guess I have Q ha given you ou a good piece of 1 my lily mind an ana any any- a way iray site she declared a as sho shun left heft let For Fot once m my wit had f e saved me mc from front either cither running or 01 striking back at nt a woman which I do in not dot think a u gentleman genteman should hould do S I |