Show rIn IF F I MODERN RN DAY POLITICIANS WERE FRAMING TIlE THE DECLARATION DECLARATION DECLARATION DECLA DECLA- RATION OF INDEPENDENCE The scene is Independence hall Philadelphia The time Ume Is 1776 but the delegates are modern modem clans First Delegate reading the pr pros pro posed Declaration aloud When aloud When inthe Inthe in the he course of human hu human hu hu- man events it 11 becomes necessary d sary Second Delegat Delegat Dele- Dele gate I gat e I e-I I dont don't like ike that word necessary It Its It's pretty strong First Delegate continuing For continuing For Forone one people to ta dissolve the political bonds bond which have connected them with another an an- other and to assume assume as- as r fie sume among the powers of the earth the separate sepa rate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of natures nature's God Sod entitle them a decent respect to the opinions opinion of mankind requires require that they should hould declare the causes which Impel them to the separation tion Third Delegate Delegate We We ought to think that over more carefully If It we go Into all the causes it may get us Into trouble Fourth Delegate ThIs Delegate This calls caUs for tor caution Why cant can't we put out some feelers first to see what the public wants Its It's all pretty risky if you ask me First Delegate We resuming resuming We hold these truths truth to be self self evident evident evident- that all men are created equal Second Delegate Delegate Is Is It expedient to go that far at this moment Cries of No and Take It 11 easy I First Delegate continuing That continuing That they are endowed by their creator with certain Inalienable In alienable rights Ii b that among these are life liberty and the I pursuit of happiness hap Cries Crill of Walt Wait Waita Walta a minute We want peace and Dont rush us u. Into war Third Delegate I I think we should cut the life and liberty stuff and just let it go that we are entitled to the pursuit of happiness It dont don't sound so defiant First Delegate resuming That resuming That Thatto to secure these thes rights governments are instituted among men deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed that whenever any form of government becomes become destructive destructive destructive de de- of these ends It is or the right of the people to alter or to abolish it Cries of That means wart warl war Let well en enough h alone and Its It a capitalistic plot ploU Fourth Delegate I I move to drop that word abolish Its It's too strong Sixth Delegate Delegate But But we we propose to abolish the British rule do we not Fourth Delegate Yes Delegate Yes but w we w. should be more tactful First Delegate resuming resuming But But when a long train of abuses and usurpations pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce reduce reduce re re- duce them under absolute despotism despot ism ism Fifth Delegate Delegate That's That's too strong How do we know the people will support such n language Wes We s should draw this up all over again and be belittle a little vague Oth Otherwise we MAY have bave to fight I First Delegate reaching the end We We therefore therefore solemnly solemnly publish and declare that the united colonies are and of right ought to be free and independent states that they are absolved from all aU allegiance to the British crown and that tha t all political polite polito ical connections between them and the State of ot Great Britain Is is and ought to be totally dissolved Cries of No Nol We are for peace and prosperity I 1 This will drag us Into war warl etc Fifth Delegate Ill Delegate Ill I'll not sign it I must sound out my constituents first Sixth Delegate I I move we put the whole thing over until AFTER A GALLUP POLL I Curtain with a dull thud THINGS I 1 SHOULD LIRE LIKE TO SE SEIS SEE IN IS THE TilE MOVIES IES A newsstand keeper who actually keeps his mouth shut Instead of ot yelling yell ing lag extra at the top of his lungs Dorothy Lamour unaccompanied by a hurricane typhoon tornado flood or any other version of the Wind and the Rain in Your Hair A meeting between hero and heroine in which the heroine doesn't drop h her r handkerchief her eyes cell or orber her ber telephone number MARTIN |