| Show about Private Treasury ANTh MONICA CALIF S SANTA SANrA Had Had it not been a foreign dispatch a fellow might have thought it referred to one of our own oan investment councillors specializing In looking after widows' widows and orphans' orphans funds and having a neat line of European European Euro Euro- Penn securities to dispose of and prominent In welfare welfare wel wel- fare work and uplift uplift up up- lift movements in his home community in in short a atypical atypical atypical typical specimen of sub sub variety that seemed to sort of peter out in the years immediately following 1929 some t quitting quilting by request some by indictment indict ment and some just Irvin S. S Cobb vanishing into space taking with them the clients clients' remaining cash assets U if any But Dut this happened to bo be a n cablegram cable gram from Geneva stating staling that when Emperor Halle and Farewell Selassie hurriedly departed from his capital he so 10 thoroughly cleaned out the bank of Ethiopia that all the Invading Italians found I in the vaults was a large throbbing throbbing throb throb- I bing vacuum How lIow l Can Write THIS campaign will liven right up It IX Henry the tho official of ot human gumboil of the writing writing writ writ- ing craft takes pen in hand to discuss die dis cuss the men and the Issues You dont don't have bave to agree with lien Hen You may quarrel with his premises and dispute his conclusions But can he make the language pop like Jike a bull whip bull I When he gets excited he be throbs like a mashed thumb and cuts cull loose Joose like an avenging angel Expressing himself himself him him- self he ho always picks words of the right shape hape and the right color Literary Garbage admit that southerners o othe ot of LETS LET'S the CoL Carter of ot type were mainly the far fetched creations of sentimental overly DC fico fic- fic Lets Let's admit the business of painting a largely Imaginary de wah de wah South was for many years crowded But Dut why in the revolt to debunk debunk de de- de I bunk this sugary romance should the land Jand so generously spawn a crop of alleged realists who'd have havethe havethe havethe the rest of the world believe the only party of the South worthy o of being written about is almost ex ex- elusively peopled by loathsome degenerates of ot the Tobacco Road noad variety If It one of these literary garbage collectors will but look Jook about him hell he'll find southerners who might make interesting copy and yet ex ex- excusing curing cusing that they leave the sugar suga out of the corn bread and the lower low low- er em case r out of the language are pretty much like the run o otheir of their fellow tellow Americans elsewhere Gas Station Service AN OPEN LETTER LETTEn to the gasoline gaso gaso- gasoline line companies Dear gasses Why gasses Why must the customer customer cus tomer have the windshield wiped It if if he doesn't want the windshield wiped Maybe hes he's in a hurry Maybe he fears the youth with the squirt gun gWI will wili only mess up the windshield windshield wind wind- shield worse than ever Maybe hes he's nervous and prefers a blurry outlook so he cant can't see how many close calls hes he's going to have from being knocked cold by lady Jady motorists motor motor- Even so unless he fights like a tiger he must endure the windshield wind shield wiping I commend the p pc pa lateness of your attendants though deploring their frequent habit o of apparently going somewhere about abou a quarter of a mile back of the ste ta tion to r 10 change I admire your enl ent rise tise and your pumps ar are indeed v. v ks fk of art arL Your highway highway high high- way signs so fill flU the grateful ey eye that we dont don't have to look at comparatively com dull things thine such a as scenery But Dut my dear gasses there comes a time when too much service becomes a nuisance S Heroic First Aid Measures WHEN WilEN those three gallant men VY were imprisoned in that tha Moose river mine cave in up in Canada facing death in the darkness dark ness one nee one of them you'll remember remember ber did die die and and the rescuers f finally ft fi- nally bored a slender shaft shan through to their living tomb almost th the first thing sent down from above was some hot coffee with a slug slut o ot or brandy in it Now the Rev nev A. A A. A McLeod ha has formally protested to the government government govern govern- I ment of Nova Scotia about putting in the brandy i So Ive I've been sitting here hero all day trying trIng to make up my mind i iId It Id I'd been buried burled in that freezing slimy pit which Id I'd prefer prefer to to have hav em send along some spiked coffee cot cof cof- cof fee tee right away or keep the mixture mix ture up on the surface and lower lowe the Rev nev A A. A. A McLeod with a pitcher of ice water Its It's one of those things a fellow really cant can't decide offhand S. S conn e C rr a. 8 r lc |
