Show BOB AND HIS ML thel THE HUMORIST TELLS A balej TALE how ne be tackled HIS HI bike with confidence and lett left it in Conf contorion nalon what it did bid to him robert Bur burdette flette the famous humorist in a letter to the burlington hawkeye de denies ales the report that he Ys Is deak dead in the e following letter dated bryn mawr the story Is told tola in his own peculiar style find and proves that the humorist is very much alive although somewhat gome what worsted by his ex experience perien with the bike my aay dear dar watte like the true friend and loyal comrade you ever were you do right to protest against my burla burial prior to autopsy I 1 am indeed very much alive not only so I 1 barnt been dead even a little bit not once could have been had bad I 1 wanted to be could be yet but I 1 dont want maybe I 1 ought to be even now but as we make weedy weeley confes confession slon owe we have left undone those things which we ought to have done possibly the rumor that I 1 have hare gone dead grew out oat of the fact that I 1 have learn learned td to ride a bicycle I 1 say have learned not am learning learned in one lesson all by myself went out in n the moonlight last friday night to learn leam having 1 first locked my family in the hous and forbade them to look out of the windows led my bicycle out on the turnpike the bryn mawr pikes are broader than the way to destruction twice as smooth and much cleaner its a young bicycle a colt foaled coaled in OT 97 would give the name but for the ibe fact that I 1 had to pay for the wheel will only say therefore in accordance with the abe ethics of our profession that it is not the wheel anybody says it is I 1 held him by the withers rt right abt in the middle of the road and mounted without assistance I 1 dismounted in the same independent manner got on on azain and proceeded to break him to saddle did I 1 ride the first time well say re people opie had told me liars of all ages ind and both sexes t that I 1 fall if when I 1 felt that I 1 was falling I 1 would stick out my foot foat I 1 stuck out both feet and hands and fell on my hend head I 1 fell on one side of that diabolical wheel and then on theother I 1 fell on both sides at once I 1 fell on top of tt it and underneath it and made dog falls with it I 1 f fen tl between the wheels I 1 fell behind the wheel and before the front wheel at the same time md and dont know yet tet bow I 1 did it I 1 fell and thrust both legs through the spokes of one wheel I 1 met a terrified man in a buggy and drove him clear off the pilro pike through wheelers hedge I 1 and I 1 dont dant think he has yet come back er E every r time I 1 fell I 1 slapped shipped the palms of my raw swollen throbbing bands on th abe ehard bard inelastic Ine lastie pike except the time I 1 fell on my head bead I 1 fell harder and with greater variety of landing than any man anan could fall unless he dropped out of a balloon and lit in a load of furniture I 1 lost my confidence my patience my temper my clamps lamp bell and reputation I 1 broke one pedal pied the saddle and the he ordinance against loud boisterous bol temus and abusive language lan aage at night I 1 ran into everything in sight except the midd middle leof of the road I 1 sat gat down on everything in the township except the saddle I 1 scorched in a circuit not fifteen feet in circumference until you could smell brimstone I 1 made more revolutions than a south american republic and get ten tan feet away from fro where I 1 started I 1 been so 00 mauled hauled and braided tb li raided so thumped and beaten so trampled upon and pounded so eo bruised and scratched since ednee I 1 left lef the army but I 1 can ride I 1 dont say bat I 1 do but nan can do I 1 consider co hiking biking good for the health tor por the health of sonie some people I 1 do I 1 dont see how a n physician can bring up his hig filmily family unless his children have something to eat but in my own case I 1 rr serve my decision I 1 will wait until I 1 know shelb 1 er I 1 am glinc to die or set get well and do you yon tell brother davis to keep his obituary on the palley gailey until he be hears hc ni s from slug sins nine I 1 dont believe ive sot got 30 wyet yet although h friends who called to we see mi me breal break down when they say gond bye bre and walk out of the room on tiptoe ti pice but I 1 mind that if I 1 knew what had become of my blade the timp I 1 ran pan under the bay wagn cheerfully yours R J T burdette in farm maeli mach j anery |