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Show "HI 1 j 1 I W ! PLENTY. David Is four years old and a patient of Sunnyside. One morning the nurse entered the room during "rest hour" and David exclaimed: "Miss , I cleaned up all the crumbs from my crackers and jelly and washed the stand all nice and clean." "But where did you get the rag to do your cleaning with?" "Oh ! I Just took my wash rag and towel." "And whore did you get the water?" "Oh ! I had plenty of water. You see, I got It out of the goldfish bowl." fei-diannpolis fei-diannpolis Star. SETTING A HIGH MARK. First Artist Did you ever make ny potjboilers? Second Artist No, success has ever crowned, my efforts. Cling to It. Money isn't everything Some declare. But I notice that they cling To their share. Reverse Cackle. Mrs. Plymouth Rock at 10 a. m., excitedly) ex-citedly) Oh Chantey, I must have hardening of the arteries! Mr. Plymouth Rock What 'put such a silly idea into your little head, Hep-py? Hep-py? Mrs. Plymouth Rock I laid an egg early this morning and now I ,1ust discovered dis-covered it's cliina! Army No Place for Him. "It s disgraceful, an able-bodied man like you selling umbrella rings In the street. Why don't you go in the army ?" "What's the use, mum? The harm; don't want hunibrella rings." Londofc Tit-Pits. Berate the Brute. " 'Man's love is of man's life a thiny . apart. 'Tis woman's whole existence.' " "I know the quotation. What about it?" "That's a good line for a wife tc spring when her mutt of a husband tries to holt out a dollar on his pay." No Habits. Mistress (to prospective colored-maid) colored-maid) And you're sure if I took you I'd have in you a reliable servant? Ebony Applicant Yes, honey, you kin trus' me ; I ain't got no habits a( all, no habits whatsomever. Judge. The Explanation. "There is something creepy aboul the house we live In." "Dear me! no ghosts?" "No ; the baby." " MODERATION. "For a pessimist, you are quite cheerful." "I'm what is known as an optimistic opti-mistic pessimist." Mightier Than Sword. "The pen is mightier than the sword''; But if you'll' stop and think, The pen is mighty little use Without a dip of Ink. The Way of' It. "Your dog reminds me of some .lien." "How so?" "In the way he is always practically practical-ly asserting he can lick any man In the community and in giving tongue to his challenge." One of the Best. "You say you were misquoted in the public prints?" "I do," replied. Congressman Twob-ble. Twob-ble. "That's an old excuse." "Quite true, but it's still serviceable, service-able, sir; still serviceable." A Special Order. Riaok What did her father say when he came into the parlor and j found her sitting in your lap? White He told her to evacuate all accupied territory at once. J Tdge. ' |