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Show j$& Suitors OF f rMa MfiRREWID t , i' W KENNETT K MELISSA WOULD HAVE NO PESSIMIST PESSI-MIST AROUND THE HOUSE. . " 'If you have tears, prepare to shed them now,' " said Mrs. Merriwid, addressing ad-dressing her maternal maiden Aunt, Jane. "If you have sighs to heave, heave to, my heartier! just so long as they aren't too heavy and you don't run any risk of straining yourself." your-self." "Why should I?" Inquired Aunt Jane, without taking her eyes from the needle that she was threading. "On general principles, dearie," replied re-plied Mrs. Merriwid. "It's a world of Badness and sorrow where the four-flusher four-flusher is exalted, as one might say if one used slang, and where honest merit gets it about half way around between the front and back collar buttons, to adopt a metaphor. We are decadent, degenerate, tainted, auntie. The trail of the serpent is over it all and the canker is at our hearts. It's perfectly scandalous!" Aunt Jane knotted her thread, and then looked over her spectacles at her niece, who had plumped her comely person upon the lounge and was arranging the cushions to suit her angle of recllnation. "That was Mr. Megrim, wasn't it, Melissa?" she asked. "It was Mr. Megrim, auntie, as you surmise," replied Mrs. Merriwid. "Mr. Megrim, all dolled up and looking too sweet for anything. He would be a hnndsome man if he didn't show so much of his lower teeth, don't you Ihlnk? But when society Is rotten to tho core and tho spirit of greed dominates the nation, it's hard for a mnn of any sensibility to keep hla lip frgm drooping. I'm afraid come time lio will stop on it and have a serl-Dua serl-Dua fall. It would naturally be serl-ous. serl-ous. If h hnd It." Aunt Jano made a few stitches and remarked that frivolity was not nn altogether commendable thing In her i discouraged. Two or three weeks ago I was pretty light-hearted, for a lady in half mourning. The world seemed to be a good little old world, after all, tra la. I thought I heard quite a few little birds warbling merrily, mer-rily, and it seemed to me that the sun shone brightly every once in a while. Then, Mr. Megrim came along, and the band played the Dead March from Saul. The sky became overcast, over-cast, gloom enveloped everything, ravens croaked dismally and wet blankets blan-kets fell with a dull, soggy thud all over the shop. I began to realize that all was vanity and vexation of spirit. No, there isn't one single ray of hope athwart the murky horizon, you take it from me, dearie." "Did Mr. Megrim have anything particular to say, Melissa?" asked Aunt Jane, with apparent carelessness. careless-ness. "He might have had, but he didn't say it," replied Mrs. Merriwid. "He forgot himself for a few brief moments mo-ments and began to talk of the joy3 of married life and the charm of congenial con-genial companionship. There was an unmistakable gleam in his eye. '"Forget it, Mr. Megrim,' I said, firmly, yet sorrowfully. "Consign it to abysses of oblivion. You know as well as I do what the divorce statistics statis-tics are. You know the brutality, the stupidity, tho inconslstancy and depravity de-pravity of man, and the vanity, levity, Cokleness, extravagance and emotional emo-tional folly of woman, and how perfectly per-fectly absurd It is to expect anything any-thing but misery as a result of their union excepting children, and you know what children are nowadays.' "'There are surely exceptions, Mrs. Merriwid," he said. "I said, 'My dear man, you must be crazy to think so. Itoally, Mr. Megrim, Me-grim, I'm concerned about you. I'll tell you what you do. Trot along home, or bct'er still, go to some restaurant res-taurant and order a llj;lit repast of !)- c-?v?. J-i. Aunt Jane Looked Over Her Spectacle at Her Niece. 1 cucumbers and milk and lobster salad and Swp;s clu'cse nnd plo. and when you've rat en It. you'll feel troro like our dear, dyspeptic seif.' Well, ho r.ol mad at that, nnd went." "Poor man!" said Aunt .lane, pity lni;!y. "I wonder If bo Isn't rather Injudicious In-judicious In tho matter of diet." "Well. I think lie's careless." Mrs. Merriwid nnswerod "This Is one time, anyway, (hat ho bit Into a IV;: d Sci peaeh and pot a distinct flavor ol lemon." (Copyright. V.:. by W. G. Chapman.) opinion. She quote, 1 I.cin:fclIow to the fTcet that lile was real ami life vih earnest. "Ami then rome, dearie," said Mrs. Mfrrlwbl. 'It's n vale of team and a hollow mockery, and on.- aliem! thlni: lifter another. That's Mr. Me-Kilm's Me-Kilm's Idea of It. and lit that, life Isn't ns bad ns the p., p'e who are more or less -iioync Ii. It wasn't ihi nb-Boluti'ly nb-Boluti'ly nwiul bcfein tho fatal rpl domic utruck Ylrt e and Honor nnd Iiecciicy ami .luiitl e nnd Truth nnd carried Ibein off. but, now It's ionic-IblliK ionic-IblliK llerce. 'Wh. tt'it hu ulners " says Mr. Mei-.rliii. 'I pausn for a reply." Glvn It up? bobbery. That's what It Is. Clicntltii: nnd robhini;. extort Iiir all thai tho trml'e will bear. What do wo find in poiitb ;? I lo I hear liny reply? I can m -wer In olio word: Graft. Iemai:oi:nei y, ma'am. Mendacity, Men-dacity, ma'am. 'I lie politician of the present day, from president lo pound-Inaiiter, pound-Inaiiter, Is either n self sceklm; rascal ras-cal or a mlnchlevoTi, daiu:cioun fa-tiallc. fa-tiallc. Have we liny lllcraiure. ary ml? Wn don't oven uinloi ;.l and the meaning of tho woidi. The publlshcis lire ttirnlni; out tnmi of tot oveiy year nnd wo read II because wo me Incn pa ble of properly n pprccia I lug nnvlhinit else, s'onl lircntal lot. Hood mid 1 1 1 ii n il or tul, e, ol le. rot ; iud' win III Ihe paper I I'll plll'leil lib. What's medicine? Ilunibii;: and qu.u k-ery. k-ery. h.il'n education 7 Faddisin. W'bal, urn our preachers? I lypoci lien or neiisalloii nioiif.cin. What nro our Judi;cn? Venal ViunplroH, nia'mn.' dli, I I'd n cheerful oullook, deailo, believe be-lieve mo, If you tako Mr. MeKilm'n word for II." "Well, II. seeuui to inn there's n c.ood ileal of Irtilh in what, ho nays," remarked Aunt .laiiA. "And Ibo wornl of II In tho hope lonnnoHU of eondtt lonn," Raid Mm. Veiilwld. "Thn tleh mo r.cllliiK rich 4ir rt'id tho poor, poorer, mid the coul of living higher, every tiny, mid I wouldn't wonder If Ihn iiirnii (ntn pernlnrB of Tophot In Hlrndllr rlnhin. too, J (lolnro, mintlo, I foul uullo |