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Show "Dave Chartier died at his homo two miles north o this place last Thursday Thurs-day night. Dock Holderness, who is an old friend of the family, attended him a few minutes before he expired. He gave it out that Dave died of heart failure. That is a lie. Dave died from drinking too much of a very poor grade of mail order licker. This paper prints the truth." "Tom Spradlin married Miss Cordie Meador last trades' day at the county seat. It ain't generally known, but the marriage was brought about mainly by a Remington shotgun manipulated by the bride's father, Tom concluding that marrying was the healthiest thing ho could do until other arrangements could be made." "Roger Lloyd, cashier of the state bank at Willow Grove, died Wednesday morning and was buried Friday by the Odd Fellows in Pleasant Mound cemetery. cem-etery. He had been taking this paper seven years and so far hadn't paid a cent, we thinking that he, being a banker, would pay some time. We will sell the account for two bits worth of fresh greens." "Married: MIbs Susie Scruggs and Horace Guff in last Saturday at the Methodist parsonage, the Rev. James C. Williams officiating. The brido is a very ordinary town girl, who flirts with all the traveling men she meets and never helped her mother three days all put together in her whole life. She is anything but a beauty, resembling a gravel pit in the face and walks like a duck. The bridegroom is a natural born loafer and bum. He never did a lick of work until his stepdaddy run him off from homo last fall. Ho went to the county seat, and just before starving to death accepted a job as chambermaid in a livery stable. As soon as his ma found out where he was she went and got him and brought him home. He now resides at the home of his wife's father, and says that he has no definite plans for the future. Susie will have a hard row to hoe." "Died, at Jayville, yesterday, James Mugford, aged 56 years, 5 months and 13 days. Deceased was a mild mannered pirate with a mouth for whiskey and an eye for boodle. He came here in the night with another man's wife and joined the church at the first chance. He owed us several dollars for the paper and a large meat bill, and you could hear him praying six blocks. He died singing sing-ing 'Jesus Paid It All' and we think he was right as he never paid anything himself." |