OCR Text |
Show RIMED REASON By Manfred Burmstadter. The Russians make the whisker styles. From. Sheffield come the finest files. De luxe appearance, super-dollish, Requires a high-grade French nail polish. Sherman averred that war is hell, From Cologne comes the finest smell. So if your barber bill be more, Why, blame it on this awful war. - Germans make the longest belts, And London dyes the worst skunk pelts. The Swiss carve spools on which to wind The China silk, the finest kind. i They make a goat of Uncle Sam; I An actor must have Persian lamb. So, if your clothing is expensive, Just blame it on this scrap extensive. I 5 The President invokes tho muse, ! Whene'er a U-boat makes a cruise; I And Mexico turns out the capers That fill the rest of the bright papers. Hall Caine, from off the Isle of Man, Spouts dryer than a balmacaan. If paper's higher and worth less Just blame it on this strife and stress. English pigs' feet have no bunions; The Spanish raise the finest onions. The waiter thinks you are a star To order Russian caviar. This war can't silence Roosevelt; Off Italy they catch the smelt. ISo, if your dinner leaves you light, Just blame it on this fearful fight. The British lion roars and snores; Punk London actors flood our shores. I The French have all the fast romancers, Some nervous Russians pass as dancers. J From Italy there is Caruso; Why see the movies in a trousseau? It costs the same to see a show 'Tis war that makes the standard low. From Germany we draw our drugs; Old Holland makes the dandy jugs; Italian marble's used in vaults. Austria turns out smelling salts. Why don't they name a Pullman "Ford " Talk of diseases makes one bored. But, if your doctor bills are higher, Remember, Mars is spitting fire. Long distance calls take extra tolls; ! Will disc records have larger holes? Bryan wants pay when he speaks, i The wireless is full of leaks. No Briton dares be caught at tippling, Eight "bits" per word gets Rudyard Kipllnf. Even talk itself is very dear. Because of Europe's bloody smear. ?j The exports pour out at New York, vj 'Congress is a hog for pork. Preparedness is that much guff, a We are the boys that make tho stuff! m Old Glory's by some breeze unfurled M We raise enough to feed the world! 9 Let every other land raise cane, 9 High prices are our only bane! 9 Cleveland Topics. |