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Show SAINT PETER AND THE PROHIBITIONIST HE sanctimonious-looking indivi-2J indivi-2J dual with the thin lips rapped discreetly on the pearly gates, after' which he folded his hands in front of his stomach and waited with a self-satisfied self-satisfied air. "What's your business?" inquired St. Peter, opening the gates two inches and gazing distrustfully at the applicant's appli-cant's smugness. "I am a Prohibitionist," declared the applicant in hushed tones, "and I want to come in." "They all want to come in," declared de-clared St. Peter cynically. "Kindly fill out this application blank, giving your name, address, religion, number of times married, good deeds and sins of omission and commission." "But I am a Prohibitionist!" objected ob-jected the applicant fretfully. "I am better than other people. Can't I walk right in without going through all that formality?" St. Peter scratched his chin meditatively. medi-tatively. "Hm!" said he. "So you are a Prohibitionist, are you? Do you mind telling me just why you believe in Prohibition?" "Not at all," smiled the applicant. "I believe in Prohibition because Prohibition Pro-hibition will rid the world of the curse of drink and put an end to immeasurable immeas-urable misery and poverty. If liquor cannot be obtained " "Pardon me," interrupted St. Peter," "but is it truly your contention that Prohibition will make liquor unobtainable?" unobtain-able?" The applicant shrugged his shoulders. shoul-ders. "Of course," he admitted, "there will always be somebody to break the law." "In other words," said St. Peter, softly jingling the keys in his pocket, "Prohibition is a condition of affairs which permits anyone to get a dink, but forces him to break the law to do so." The applicant kicked petulantly at a passing cloud. "Well, that's a rather crude way of putting it," he admitted. admit-ted. "And yet," went on St. Peter gently, "you persisted in advocating Prohibition, Prohibi-tion, even though you knew you were encouraging the breaking of laws." "Now, see here!" protested the applicant. ap-plicant. "How dare you make any insinuations against my motives!" St. Peter removed the list of questions ques-tions from the applicant's hand and pressed an electric button at the side of the pearly gates. A buzzer sounded, sound-ed, and a little angel with brass buttons but-tons on his wings fluttered down at St. Peter's feet. "I'm not questioning your motives, my dear chap," said he. "You meant well; but the man who means well always al-ways makes a mess of things. I'll put you on probation for a while, and give you a chance to broaden out. Here, boy! Take this gentleman down to Purgatory, and leave word that he's to report to nie every two thousand years." A moment later the pearly gates closed with a click, and there was nothing for the dejected applicant to do but follow the little angel .with brass buttons on his wings. Life. |