OCR Text |
Show I IN 'AN OBSER VA TION I PLANE WHILE I was pondering the other day on the vagaries of the H Democratic legislature which is try- H ing to make Utah safe for the H Republican party a little gray H man with ratliko features slipped H into my office, closed the door H and peered through the keyhole. Tum- H ing, ho smirked at me apologetically H and peered through the keyhole again. H "I'm shadowed every minute," he H said with a cheery smile, as he glim- fl mored at me through swiftly blinking fl eyelids. "They are after me." H "Who is after you?" I inquired, at H the same time waving my unbidden H guest to a chair. M "The legislators," he replied. "They M are anxious to get all my secrets, but H I have given them enough of my ideas. M I'm going to withhold some of them fl and run for senator myself." m "Where do you live?" I asked. M "My home is Salt Lake, but I have M been living in a public institution in H Provo and I may be elected from H there." B "The State Mental Hospital, I pre- m sumo?" M "The same," he said rubbing his M hands together briskly as if the menial meni-al ory were not altogether unpleasant." M "I've been reading your paper while Hi there," he added, "and I discover i that our ideas are much alike." V "Thank you for the compliment," I H' responded. H I noted that the little man had a M large portfolio under his arm. Every M few seconds he would open a corner M of the portfolio, peek inside and then M smile craftily at me. B "Some of my ideas," he said. "A M number of them I have already lent to m the legislators." M "I can well believe that," said I. H "You got your inspiration at the Men- H tal Hospital." j "The inspiration, yes, but the ideas K are entirely my own. Take that bill H to give the state a monopoly of. the K workingmen's compensation insurance, 1, Entirely my idea." H But that Isn't my idea at all," 1 I protested, "and you said your ideas fl, were like mine." H "Wait, wait, don't be impatient," he M chuckled. "I have so many ideas that B you are bound to have some like mine. M Did you notice that bill providing tax- M ation to build gymnasiums in third class cities. Entirely my idea." i "Fine," I said encouragingly, for he jt I. seemed to give promise of much entertainment. en-tertainment. "It's fine, but I have had a better idea since," he proceeded. "And what may It be?" "Taxation to build third class cities in gymnasiums. But that is only a little one. I think more of that bill to abolish district attorneys. Entirely mine." "That's a queer idea; what Is the purpose?" I asked. "The purpose is to have traveling state's attorneys who will make a political pol-itical machine for the attorney general. gen-eral. He will send his assistants into each county. Kind of circuit prosecu-t ing attorneys. It not only insures the enforcement of the law equably, but it provides a political following for the attorney general and the administration. administra-tion. Political henchmen will get the appointments and will go out into the state as administration propagandists. They will sink the enemy, leaving no trace." Suddenly the little man put his index in-dex finger to his lips. He hopped lightly from his chair, ran to the door and peeked through the keyhole. Tiptoeing Tip-toeing back to his chair he seated himself carefully and whispered: "Culbert Olson outside. He is an awful pest. He keeps hounding me for new ideas to cripple the employers. employ-ers. I'll tell you a secret. I was an employer once." "Not so loud," I said. "Someone might hear you." "I know how dangerous it is to make that admission," he said. "That's how I came to bo in Provo. I tried to run my business on the reform plans suggested by the walking delegates. dele-gates. Everything they suggested I agreed to. Finally it made me so nervous that they sent me to Provo for a rest." "And what became of your business?" busi-ness?" inquired. "Hush! Don't say anything about that," ho replied. "I don't want my employes to know they are out of work. They might blame it on me." "I suppose you have some new ideas along that line?" I interposed idly. "I have one grand idea," he said. "It is employer's compensation." "Never heard of such a foolish idea; it must be grand," I said sarcastically. "You see," ho went on not heeding my tone of satire, "I believe in equal izing conditions as much as possible. "We compensate the laborer at the expense ex-pense of the employer. I propose to compensate the employer at the expense ex-pense of the workman." "How?" "Whenever an employer closes his place of business he loses money. That's so isn't it?" "Also when the sheriff closes it," I said laughing loudly. The little gray man eyed me with suspicion as if he had divined a secret. "You have ben to Provo, too, I see," he said. , "(Can't you take a joke?" I blurted wrathfully. "It's a good joke, I'll admit," he responded. "We used to crack jokes like that every night at the Mental Hospital." "Well, well, get back to your idea," I snapped. "What about it?" "I propose,' 'he said, "to insure employers em-ployers against losses by strikes, epidemics epi-demics and foolish legislation. They have a bill in the legislature now which provides that employers must give their employes one day of rest a week. A restaurant man, for example, employes men on a basis of S3ven days and pays them for seven Jays' work. This bill requires that he shall pay seven days' wages for six days' work. Now I would tax tlio community commun-ity to make up the loss to the employer em-ployer and also tax the employes one day's wages." "Where's the reason and justice in that?" "Very simple. The employer is compelled to compensate his workmen for losses due to injuries. He must pay premiums on state or other insurance in-surance policies. The employer ought to bo compensated for loss to his business if his employe strikes or if he is injured; also for loss from epidemics, epi-demics, fires, floods, etc. Take the case of an epidemic. The health authorities au-thorities make certain regulations which cause business men much loss. They close the stores or compel people peo-ple to wear masks. The employers fight these regulations and sometimes force the health authorities to beat a retreat and revoke the regulations. That is perfectly human on the part of the employers; also perfectly inhuman. inhu-man. Now, if the employer were insured in-sured againBt loss of this kind he would have no interest in bullying the health authorities. He would quietly submit to all regulations and collect his compensation from the state." "Is that all?" I said, consulting my watch rather irratlbly and picking up an article I had just clipped from a daily newspaper. The article was headed: "Masks Failed in Flu Epidemic Epi-demic on Antelope Island, Says Department De-partment Store Manager." "No that is not all," ho salfl. "I would provide a day of rest for all employers and make the employeu foot the bill," ho said. "Back to Provo," I said. "Back to Provo." The little man did not seem a bit offended. He smirked and smiled and said: "I'm going back on the next Inter- Orem to think it over. When I run for the legislature I want your support. The state needs a change for the better." "By the way, I inquired, "on what ticket will you run?" it "On .the Democratic, of course," he " said as he made his exit. |