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Show THE UNSCIENTIFIC SCIENTIST H i ; San Dldfeo Bpositionf October 13, 1914. H Dear Herb: B ' Do you remember about Neptune? Ho was H ,the old fellow who lived In the sea and wore a H 1 crown and carried a trident andicome up to blow H i i every so often of course you can't blame him m ' Jior that, ho was King of the Sea, or something. B ,and he had a license to blow! I would, too, if Vfl ' 1 had a job like that and who was always at- H l tended by swell-looking dames whose nether e- B t tremities, however, were somewhat disappointing. H , Frankly, just between you and me, I think the H ' 1914-model mermaids have the mythological H j "ones beaten four ways from the jack. It's open H season for them all the year 'round here, too H ; ; We've got some of the late models working at H the San Diego exposition. Yep, I know. I saw Hi , 'em in the bay last Saturday afternoon Honest, H Herb, this isn't such a poor place to work. M I . But I was going to tell you about "Neptune's H ''Wonderland." It's an aquarium on the "Isthmus" H hero, and a whale of a big one. It holds some- H ' thing like a million fish or maybe it was only a H thousand I forget anyway, it's some aquarium! H lI give you my word you begin to feel as if it VJ were running in strong competition with the H ocean when you see all those things swimming H and squirming and crawling around in there. I H call them "things" to be on the safe side that H describes 'most anything. I started to make a list KW ,jof their names, but most of them I couldn't V V spelh-and they didn't sound like regular names B anyway and what I did write was about as inter- H esting as page 209 of mv prize dictionary (paid H .che last installment t t this month, didn't take H that cash discount), so I desisted H -- One thing in there is an old acquaintance H ca stingarde. Vividly I recalled my introduction Hi to it. Unwittingly I stepped on it in the surf; 1 ' wittingly, it threw its tail up over my foot (10B Vfll no, that's the size of my silk hose), hurriedly, H tbut effectively, and I still carry the scar. Well, V3 the memory made me sad. Whenever I feel sad H, ' I wanto write poetry. So I wrote you a poem Hj i about it. At least I called it a poem, and my W ' up to date stenographer sne called it a poem B ' Eut the Boss he called It Well, anyway, it didn't Hi get by; so I'm afraid' you'll never see it, until B my Memoirs are published. I nimed it "The H ' Tail of the Stingaree " You could sing it to the H tune of the "Tale of the Bumblobee" if you H j felt musical. I played it pn the piano with 6ne H hand I had to use the other to beat time and H M say! It's a bear! Sweetly sad (or sadly sweet, H 'J efther way), sentiment, too! But you'll have to H t, yait for the Memoirs this local board of cen- H sorship is awful (trained in Chicago and acts . as if he's proud of it). J 1 1 a The auditor came in to. my office the other Hf H day and handed mo the check for mymonthly sti- H pend. (He's got. quite a job, that fellow; nothings H t; to do but count money and dole it out in the H smallest possible amounts ) And he asked: ' Scotty, what do you write that fool stuff to Iierb. fQQ?fl f,jjf f j,,v , ,fI9(f 0 nr) b K A wayqdfAOi.Pic sUp,,in hifl1facq,lcQaiHelBhJ.y1 and sa.id:r,.,VFpMhisJ"r eahe looekind o sad. he'sj(nj)t,,af)pe-sparaor at aJHftndi asked mjf X,wasn',tashamtfdatQ take,, 0,1x131 I said 1 wjis, but that oId rather, be. apgpiq than not tpjgot It' He cquld,js,ee the sensetp that al) right it, didn't leave much ropm for argument ar-gument but I still maintaia that hia soul harbors har-bors none of the diylnus afflatus, whatever hat is. Aside from that, I like him. But don't miss Neptune's Wonderland, t Yours by the glad sea waves, SCOTTY. P. S Truly, Herb, there's nothing to compare with the human form divine What? |