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Show Not Tqo Dunx. Seriously By BEAU BROADWAY, In New York Telegraph. - "Jfyfc Whether a man Is a londor or a boss depends on whether or not he's on your side of tho fence. "Whenever tho name of a woman," says a .writer about 'om, "has como down through tho centuries, it is because be-cause she had that combination of brilliancy and beauty which tho world has always found and will continue to find Irresistible." Well, Joan of Arc was no boauty, Queen Elizabeth was ugly, Goorgo Sand was homely, Madamo do Staul was not a bit like Soptombor Morn but, perhaps tho lady means boat of mind. Our roply to Japan Is not ready yet. It takes diplomats a long time to say no. "What makes your nose so rod?" asked the man In tho lobby of tho Martinique of a well-groomed old chap. "Oh," replied tho W. G. O. C, "It blushes with pride over Its ability to keep out of other people's business." Turkey trotting in tha surf has ono advantage if you trot poorly tho waves hide the fact. Suggestion to the War department Why not uso live volcanoes for forts and teaso 'em when trouble Is desired? Paprika Jones suggests an office building of thermos bottle construction construc-tion to enable the tenants to keep cool. "This," says sago of Forty-second street, "would obviate tho necessity of the Saturday half-holiday." "Flying as a sport," Is the way a contemporary editorial Is hatted. But then, again, ono has to bo a sport to fly, doesn't one? Ico sandwiches are tho newost frlp-pory. frlp-pory. Tha top layer is a thin slice of Ice, the lower lnyor Is a thin slice of ice. Tho filling Is orackod Ice. Thoy are best eaten with fnlso tooth. "It has been decided by a high Judicial Ju-dicial officer In Atlantic City that "liar" Is not a cuss word. But Its fight-starting quality Is not questioned. ques-tioned. Eleazer Fisher, nho in his 103 years of life voted twonty-ono times for president, was a noted man in Sandwich, Sand-wich, 111. But we have local talent that could tie his record In one election. elec-tion. Optimists point out, when tho high cost of living Is mentioned, thaf eggs used to cost a dollar each in the Klondike. Klon-dike. Since tho mention of tho fact that the bagpipe Is the Bulgarian national muslcl.er. it is easier to understand why ne Turks ran away. Golf Increases the stzo t)f the Mayor's May-or's pedals, according to an "unjtfeas-ant "unjtfeas-ant discovoror. wP' But Littlo Red Riding Hood-might have hoard tho wolf say: J'ttik the better to stand on, my rtoar!'KVf' r' ."( Girl trnmp Is called by bjBp"vJ)lr-g-raphors "Roving Nell." Ncfarfi agination ag-ination at all. Might have dffldtLher Porogrtnntlng Polly or ujVlSring Wilholmlna or something. .VfZ..z' - " -. Sapphire M'Gurk ifraists -& no gontlemnn will return to spolffifnbwnt wake. The etiquette in suchjjgps Is to arrive aftor the wake and before tho funeral. ?? With a Pago in Britain anJ'URO In Italy ni our ambnssadorlalAdpro-sontatlvos, ambnssadorlalAdpro-sontatlvos, our diplomatic affafPs' will soon Ifrow Into a book. |