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Show I The Don and the Elephant H By HENRY WALLACE PHILLIPS IN THE AMERICAN MAGAZINE. H Tho Don was Spanish by birth and a H very tall man Tor Ills foot and lnclios. I H think lis was llvo root and two Indies In Hj Dut lie always socmed tho equal, pliys- Hi lcally, or any man In whoso company ho H round himscir, as tlioro was that In Ills MM mind or dignity, or bonlsn haughtiness, mm or an elegance hold In caroful subjection H to the reelings or those with whom ho H was In contact, which overcame any phys- Hj lqnl shortcoming. Hj lie had a groat deal or Imagination. H PJonso don't construe this too harshly. H i in that airy portion or Now York wlicro H tho nowspupers maintain tholr buroans or H mlslnrormatlon, tho Sonor Don ono day H approached mo with a relation In his oyos. Mmt "Wo housod ourselves in the nrst rest- H Instantly ho began his narration. WU Ho said that tho city or Now York, with H Its whirlpool excitability, had worn upon H his nervous system. Ills noad was H turnod almost to madness by tho noises. H Ik. 3a Id that in his country If a strcct- H car .conductor behaved llko ours, somoono H would beat him with a sword; but is was H that increasing topic or discussion, tho H aulomobllo, that moved him most. H 'Ho said that Tor him to ho ohlllgud to H act llko a grasshopper and Jump every H tlmo a man blow a blast on a tin horn H was too much ror human endurance. H During business hours that was necessary, WM but nrtor, ho yearnod ror a poacorul liro H in tlio country, whore tho sliovor coased H rrom shoving and tho auto caino to H naught. H Ho said that ror him to bo obllgod to H "Why can it bo that he, this automobllo H man, shall push mo bcroro him with a MW tootlo? Is ho tho horn or Jericho? No, WM homhrc! Ho is not' Ho is moroly tho WM horn or too much plenty tho cornucopia H and I think why It is that ho must rush Hj through the air at sixty kllomotor to tho WM hour Is because ho has tho top or tho hoad H empty and must push his raco through H tho wind very rast to ventilate tho cavity. H "Docs ho caro who ho kills? No! H Maybo It Is a poor woman with tho wash- H lug. Mayi'e it is a strong man with shove H and plcklo, trying to earn his dally broad. H Maybo it Is anybody. What Is It? 'Honk! H Honk l wiioopuln!' and thoflo persons aro H In heaven! wo shall hopo. Ho makos H death ridiculous, and ho makes liro more H ridiculous, and most ridiculous or all ho H makos blmsclr. Ono might say this Is H projudlco. So, perhaps, it Is, but what H shall n man llvo ror ir not for his H prejudice? H "And so I leavo this city to find ror H mysoir a country home, such as our rriond mW Van, In tho real estate buslnoss, will call H "A Rondo or a Rural rtotrcat.' H "Now this is dirrtcult. I think whon H tho early settlers came to this country H thoy made up their minds to be as ln- Hj convenient to thomsolvcs as was possiblo, H and they woro very smart men. H "I go by train, by trolloy, by riding, H and by my own logs to many, many rarm- H houses, and I think to myseir what a rug- H gcd man Is tho earlv American rarmer, H that, ho has been able to llvo In a house j llko this. H "By and by I find one in which tho j houao Is not awrul, but tho rarm it Is H somothlng s'range. H "Most of this Tarm Is pebbles larger H than a dog-coop great stones. I had a H wish to keep a cow, some roosters, a pig, H and to jilant such flowers and vegetables j as will suit me. This cannot be done H among such stones, but there In lire you Hj have it where the house Is bad the H ground is good, where the house is good H tho ground is stones. Well, I think to H myseir It Is In tho houso that I shall llvo, H so I consider that. "It must bo conresscd that tho city is in somo ways better than the country, ror now you sec mo moving. Ah, that was a terrible business! So long- as wo aro in Now York all goes well, but tho placo which I havo is thirty miles away rrom Now York, and tho wagons must go that distance, ror which or courso I am charged a great doal or money. "Woll, wo make a start. I go with tho loads. Wo go along till wo have passod all signs or tho city, and my hoart springs up llko a llttlo bird. Here, than Is tho country which I pnzou, and it is good to bo with thoso hearty rollows who drlvo, and to bo upon tho country road, until It comes to tho placo where tho bridge Is no more. "There have boon a circus bororc us, so a lady farmer, who comes to tho roncc in a strange hat and wishes to talk, tells us, and although we aro in a hurry, wo cannot procoed ,ror it would not bo pollto to loavo that lady whon she so much wishes to talk. "Ah, what a passion she has Tor talking! talk-ing! Thoro is nothing about lhat circus wo do not hoar. Evory animal, what a color is ho? Did wo think ho was an ugly animal? Evory wheel on every wagon ovorythlng, until it como to tho trouble! This troublo Is largo, it covois her mind right up. It pushed tho bridge right up. It has stirred tho whole country right up, ror, you soo, it is an elephant! "Now tho circus comes to the bridge qutolly, and all goes woll until comes this elephant, and the lady whon she tolls us, makes her arm go like the trunk or tho olophant, and sho waves It about, showing how he snlir, snlir, rearing that tho brldgo was not built ror him. Sho looks very oddly in that sunbonnett, with ono hand and two root on tho ground, llko an olophant, and tho other hand llko a trunk, swinging. "Thoso follows who drlvo with mo aro good rollows, but oach ono has to mako a romark and walk a way smiling, but, alas! tho lady talk straight at mo, so 1 must stay, though I would laugh ir I could. "Tho lady had a queer, small voice Tor an olophant, and sho told it to mo about tho wreck. Sho soy, 'Ho snioll that 'ere brldgo llko It ain't good onough Tor him, and thon them rollows go along and poke him bohlnd with clothos-polos, and ho Just tromblo his knocs llko an old man with rhcumutlsm, but ho wasn't no old man, I toll you, ho ho ho! says that lady. 'No, slroo, ho va'n't. sir.' "Ho put a root ahoad, and tho plank squoakod; ho put tho othor root ahoad, and ovorythlng squoakod; ho Just shirtod onco moro, and thoro como a crackln,' Thon ho wrappod that long noso or hls'n around a pioco or J'lst a ploco or J'ist, sir, such as tliroo moan couldn't lift and thorn circus follors dim troos, for ho llappod thorn oars or hls'n and yrlls, "Oompah!" llko tho big rollor In tho band, and thon ho did take a tuckot out or that structure Why,' says sho, and that voice or hors goes up llko a Hon, 'why, ho knocked splinters clean ovor tho top or my houso. There wasn't no particle or brldgo romalnlng. Ho pulled up, and ho hoavod up, and ho knockod up; and ono roller tried to stop him. Ho Just readiod around with that snaky noso, and no throw tho rollor right up the plno tree yondor, whoro ho couldn't get up or down. "'Thon what do you suppose ho did?' says sho. I told her, 'Madam, It Is lm-posalblo lm-posalblo ror me, not knowing much about elephants and their cus'itr-1' to predict.' " 'Well,' she says. ' ust dim down one side or (hat bank back the otner, spry as a rat, and he jcw his horn onco more, and took up-creok so rast that ho looked like a gray board fence ten foot is to say, 'stop that elephant!' and how dirnoult it Is In the doing! "Thoro Is one man In our party who shouts, 'Put out the nrc, so tho elephant will not soo It,' and the the Western man says, putting Another armrul or wood upon tho flro, 'I don't think ho will bo arrald ir ho does,' which or courso was not what tho other fellow meant. "Tho liro blazed up brightly, and tho olophant ho turn around and look at us. Ho had tho ears standing out from the head, and his llttlo eyes aro sparks or fire His trunk ho points at us. 'IT that was a doublo-barrolod shotgun,' says tho "Western "West-ern man, 'ho would blow us olT the raco or tho earth,' and then ho put his hand to his mouth and yelled, 'So, boss; so, boss! Good old Ellol Spot yoursoir and sit on tho rront stoop,' and that young Irishman, ho say, 'Gosh! -Just Imagine,' ho says to tho rcllow is most arrald, 'old cock-car ovor tlioro coming over and taking tak-ing your hat now!' and tho follow ho crlod aloud at tho thought. "And thon there como slam rrom the window. The rarmer has llred a gun at ths olophant. Tho olophant kicks with ono hind lag, and thon ho is mad. With his hoad ho pushes the door In, thon wo hoar him trying to go up the stairs, which Is llko the hrldge tho stairs croak and crackle "However, that rarmer man and the lady rarmer, they think he Is coming, and so with wild shrieks thoy precipitate thomsolvcs rrom tho windows on tho piazza pi-azza and bog us to come and help them. " 'Como over hero, and wo will help you,' says tho Irishman, 'but you havo not trained your olophant proper. I do not think ho likes strangors.' Upon which Iho man rarmor says, 'We are arrald, and Ilic Westerner replies that he speaks the truth. "And thoro is tho torrlblo noise downstairs down-stairs in tho house, and tho woman calls to us, 'What Is ho,' always meaning the olophant, 'doing now?' and tho Irishman says, 'You aro noaicr to him.' "Never havo I heard such a noise come out or a houf" Tho lady sho listen, and when wo hear a torrlblo crash sho says, 'Now ho is in tho pantry. Tho ("-lies are gone,' and when we hear a wanglty, wanglty, crash! slio snys, 'Toro goos tlicm tliorc tin pans! "Tlio lady knows tlio liouso so woll alio can toll what pieces or rurnlturo it Is that Is being: demolished. When it comes a funny kind of squeak, she exclaims, ex-claims, 'Oh, law, Ma's haircloth sora!' I do not know whother ho has sat down on It or not, hut when we round the haircloth hair-cloth sora it looked as though ho had. Y But this Is later. "By and hy ho Is tired or playing In the house and wishes to como out doors again. Tlio Wcstorn man ho gets much "" wood on tho lire, and ho explains to mo that this Is sure, that tho olophant doos not like nro. So, hy this, wo have fire that lights up the country, and wo soo Ilguros or men who know that tho elephant ele-phant has arrived but don't wish to catch him, and at sometimes there comos a call, 'Thoro ho is!' and you hoar much scampering scamp-ering or root. "Voll, out comos tho olophant, and looks, at our flro, but suspiciously. Tho Vc9t0rn man, who has no wire's sister's oqusln who knows about elephants, has tell, mo the truth. He docs not llko the flro but ho comos over near tho horses, and.''those horses squeal and yell, and act like 'Jmall children. Tho elephant, he regards re-gards them mildly, and walks away to the wagons. "Now, on tho back or a wagon, very firmly tied, Is the piano of my wire. Tho clqphant, with tho finger and thumb on thd end or his noso, examines. Thon ho wishes to sec what is inside. Ta! and that strong rope is broke. Another pull, and that thick cloth which is over tho piano is torn llko it is nothing but spider's webbing! Thon the piano loso his balance bal-ance and rail on the elephant's toe. Then tho elephant is angry, and ho hit tho piano. The piano comes apart in places and also makes a noise. At this tho elephant is surprised and backs away hurried. Ho rails on his hind legs in a ditch, and sits down, looking at tho piano. "Ho Is so runny, looking llko that, that I must laugh ir ho kill mo ror It. But now ho is not angry. Whon wo laugh ho look at us In surprlso, and thon back at tho piano, and thon that Wcstorn rollow ho Jump up and say, 'I shall play little Ellio a tune.' "I do not think ho moans It. Nobody would think such a thing, but bororo I finish my gasping ho is gone, and tho elephant makos no attempt to hurt him, and tho Wostorn man play somo rostivo Wostorn music upon tho piano. "Tlio elephant looks, with Ids head cooked on one sldo llko a small dog, and listens vory much. Tlio Wostorn man call to us, 'How doos ho take it? Has ho got an oar ror music?' and I say, becauso I am laugh to a Jollity, 'Ho Ukos your stylo or ploying, but I would not try Sonor Wagnor on him.' "Ho Is a quaint rollow that ho will Joke with that olophant so noar by. So ho play music, and tho olophant listen, and by and by ho strikes a music, and tho olophant lirts ono big root and thon tho othor, and tho Irishman calls out, 'Holy smoko, Jim, ho Is a trained olophant! Mako him dance!' "And thon this Irishman comos out too, and ho roar in a doop voico, 'Got up and danco!' Ho tolls mo artorwards ho rioosn't know what they say to an olophant to mako him danco, so ho makos his voico loud and rough, so tho olophant can undorstand what ho ploosos. "And in tho light, now, or tho flro and tho moon, which has Just como up, thoro In tho road that olophant raised himsoir onormous on his hind legs, and ho began to danco. It is not tho Joyous, llght- hoartod danco that w havo in our coun- f try. It Is on olophant sort of danco, and ) ho t akos it vory seriously and, ror that mattor, so do I take It seriously, because If ho is dancing ho will not hit mo with that trunk, nor stick those largo teeth Into mo. "I cannot explain to you what a sight this is, and thon that Irish boy says that lio could shako a log hlmscir. I think wo aro all crazy now, because out ho comos, and he takes hold or tho olophant by tho trunk and shakos his trunk, and ho dances too, and that Irish boy call to mo, 'Como out and show us something Spanish.' i "Well, I am not Intended Tor such Jo-coso Jo-coso sports, but I am called tho boss of tho outfit; ir this Irish boy may danco with an olophant, why, so must I, and so there am I In tho road too, until that Wcstorn man says that ho is gottlng paralyzed par-alyzed In his elbows rrom playing tho piano so much, and as nobody olso can play that music tho dance must came to an end, and then I think to myscir, 'How will this olophant nmuso himsoir whon high, kind or wavy undorneath. Them circus rollers hung around trying to find him, but Lord! Thoro wasn't no finding him, so they've offered a reward for anybody any-body that will got him. Tlioy ain't got him yet,' says she. 'My men-folks is away today huntln' Tor that olophant. That Is, they're talking mighty valiant that they're huntln' ror It; but I'll bet yo ir that olophant olo-phant stands them big oars or hls'n on ond and pints his noso at 'om, they won't bo satisfied with no house. You bet Rufo and Jako will take to the collar, and wish thoy could shut It in artcr them. As ror mo,' says sho, 'I bo kind or scared myscir, my-scir, but I havo put a barrel or carrots out where ho can reach them handy ir ho comos along, and that may soften his Toolings. "Wo rolks havo kind or got an elephant on our hands, as tho sayln' Is.' "Now, those men who aro with mo havo rotlred to a distance where they can laugh and laugh, and when I sco that bridge and imagine how that olophant has dissected it, I must laugh too, fo the lady has toll the truth. There is not much left or that bridge, but I go and ask these men, 'Now, what shall wo do?' "The youngest rollow, who comes or tho Irish race and wears red hair, ho makes remark, 'Let us all turn elephant-hunters.' elephant-hunters.' "Now, it Is my nature to be or a calm and philosophic mind, yot in this world aro other attractions than calamity and philosophy. I think suddenly or this groat boast and how it Is tho samo olophant, olo-phant, whothor you hunt him In Now Jcr-soy Jcr-soy or Arric'a. In Tact, ir you hunt him in Now Jorsoy It is a stranger kind or thing. So, thus thinking, I answorod this young man and say, 'ir I could toll whoro Is this olophant, I should go,' and ho say, I am a sport, and those oldor mon, who mako bororo laugh about it, now say that tlio monoy which is offered by tho circus pooplc, or $250, is not to bo laughed at, and, in Tact, wo all wish to go and hunt that olophant; so ono man who doos not tell tho truth vory Troquontly, think, ho makes a long story about a man that his wir's slstor's cousin's best rrlond onco know, and this man was an olophant-trainor, olophant-trainor, and this olephant-tralnor says that tho tlmo to catch an olophant Is at night whon ho Is chowing his cud, that thon ho will bo qulot, and all you havo to do is to tlo a string around tho end or his trunk and ho will como with you. "Thon tho young man says, 'No. You aro right so fnr as to tlo tho string to tho trunk, but aftor that ho doos not como with you,' and tho other rollor says, 'No, and why not?' " 'Becauso,' soys tho youngor man, 'you thon go with him, and ho is a caroloss animal. You might got hurt.' "And that sooms to mo reasonable too, but It is gottlng dark, and wo cannot cross this Htto rlvor with no bridge; and finally wo agroo to mako camp thoro bo-sldo bo-sldo tho road, and perhaps hunt elephant, and porhaps not. "Woll, wo got tho egg and mllic and a coJToo-pot and somo coITec rrom that lady rarmor and othor rarmors, ana wo havo an excellent time, ror wo camp out llko tho Western people In the early times, and toll stories and enjoy oursolves. "Thero is ono man who has said nothing, noth-ing, and it seoms that ho Is really a Western West-ern man, and ho entertain us much by his advonturos, which, not llko that or tho othor rollow's ho docs not make him soir como out so woll, and ho enjoys tho Joko that ho plays upon himsoir; but ho has tho oyo vory clear, and tho muscles on his race stick out strong. I think thon, You aro not so much arraid as you toll or yoursoir.' "It is ho who cook tho suppor, and it Is a good suppor. I have seldom enjoyed so much anything as that poacorul night when comes tho smell or evening ana tho troos, and ono star shines most hcautirul over a largo hill, and wo talk till late and aro sloopy, whon suddenly is noara tho voice or a man saying: "'Help! Help! Run! Run! Help! Holp! Gosh o'mlghty ! Help!' "Tho Wostorn man looks at that noise, and ho says, 'I think our rrlond Is pursued pur-sued by a threshing machine,' And It soundod llko that. Such a crashing, smashing, whacking, bashing, novcr did I hoar; and thon the young Irishman say, 'Yes, it Is a bridge-thrashing machine. It Is the elephant.' "Tho lady rarmor ran out or tho liouso and yelled, 'There comes tho elephant!' and down the road wo hear voices exclaiming ex-claiming aloud, 'Here is tho elephant!' "Now, I oxpect that I shall bo calm about this elephant, but when I hear everybody ev-erybody say, 'The elephant! Tho olophant!' olo-phant!' In so scared a way, then I find that I too am scared and do not know who'ro to put tho root, and these other mon, particularly that man who knew tho olephant-tralnor so socond-handly, ho is moro scared than anybody, and tho Wcstorn Wcst-orn man says, pulling rrom his pocket a string: 'Hero, take this ana tlo It around tlio end or his trunk,' which tho other man rorused to do, bitterly swearing. "And this nolso comes nearer very Tast, and now there are two men calling out loud in thp dark, 'Help! Help! Run! nun! The olophant!' "Sitting here, It is ono thing to tell or these cries; sitting out there on a road, whoro Is nothing, and all is black trees around you, and tho horses begin to snllT tholr noses and back around and kick out, and you hoar somothlng llko the forest Is tumbling down, and tho shrlok or those mon's voices that Is vory scarod that Is dirrcront, I toll you, rrom listening to mo whon I toll it. "I havo not boliovo this thing, that ono's hair can stand on ond, but now I know it, because I reel It stand right out at tho back or my nock. Ah, what a harmless boast is tho olophant In tho circus, cir-cus, and how wo laugh at him ror bolng so plump! But whon ho Is angry and In the woods, thon wo find him a trifle dir-roront. dir-roront. "It is not long ho kcops us in suspense. By tho firelight wo soo tho mon Jump tho ronco and rail on tholr races and hands but ncvor stop running, and next comes tho olophant, who novor minds tho fence, but walks right through It. Those mon Jump ovor tho noxt ronco and como Into tho house or that lady rarmor quick; tho olophant, ho walks through tho noxt ronco and stops, wondorlng what ho shall do noxt. "Although I am scarod, yot I cannot soo n lady troublod by thoso rudo attontlons rrom an olophant, and so I call to tho mon, 'Lot us stop this boast.' "Cortalnly,' said tills Wostorn man, and ho is sarcastic. 'I agroo with you,' ho said, 'but will you kindly toll us how? Thoro Is about throo tons or bull-moat carousing around this country,' ho says, 'and that is too much ror tho noods or the community.' "I look at this cool man, and I am convinced, con-vinced, ond I am surprised. How oasy It tho dancing is over? and I am Tor going back again to tho flro; but tho Irish boy ho stayB, whilo tho farmer gontloman rrom tho roor Is speaking to, us so badly in harsh language "He tolls us to tlo tho olophant with ropes; he tells us many things, in which I loso my patience with him and toll him to como down and do thoso things which ho advlsos for us, but ho moves not. "And then that Wcstorn gentleman yells, 'Clear yoursolvcs, ladles and H gents i I am only good ror two chords H more.' I I "Tho Irish hoy yells', 'Como on, Sonir H Don,' and wo skip to tho flro and tlio H music stops. That olophant is loft stand- H ing liko an enormous slnjvo in tho middle or tho road. ';: j H "Ho stands out against tho cold moon- H light on tho liouso, hugo.and black, and H ho looks vory molancholy, ror hlSj rrlcnds H will not play with him anymore, and ho M sticks his trunk in tho air and gives ' a m3 lonesome howl through it. , H "Then comos tho Wostorn man back H rrom tho piano, and ho says, 'Now' If our H rrlond would only remain liko that, wo H shall got tho reward.' H "But this tho olophant will not do. Ho comos down upon his othor two root H again and shakos his bond. Ho Is silont. H For a Uttlo while ho does not know what H to do. H "Then ho goos slowly to tho piano aid H puts a flngor or his trunk on It, and back H comes a sound. Each tlmo this nakps H him a Uttlo loss scared, till finally ho H makes up his mind what ho wishes Is that H plona, and ho bends his knees and sticks H his tusks under that piano, and ho puts H his trunk on top, and up ho gots, and OfT H ho walks with my wiro's now uprigjit H sllvor-mountod cablnot-grand piano, and H ho walks right through tho ronco, rlgiit H through tho trees, right through every- H thing, carrying It with him Oood-by! H Adlos! Fare woll! H "And the Wcstorn man toll mo ho will H not como back. He will take tho pirino to H somo secluded spot, and ho will prac- H tlcc until ho can do PaddysufTcky luots H on it, but tho circus pooplo will mace H good. H "And so wo go to sloop. - H "Yes," slghod tho Sonor Don, "I or- H rlvo at tho last at my farm, but always H with mo, you sco, comes something a H Uttlo strange." H L- H |
