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Show POLITICAL HOROSCOPE By J. Grant Hinkle. (All rights preserved with formaldehyde.) If the stars stay out all night Who cares for the speaking parts? This week contains rainbows of promise, according ac-cording to the astrologer. The stars present favorable fav-orable aspect to all worthy enterprises. The only adverse sign appears for certain professions, such as Turner, Falconer, and Slater. These, however, are not regarded among the worthy occupations. Dealers in automobile supplies will And themselves them-selves hard pressed to fill certain items in their line, which will bo in demand during the visitation visita-tion due directly after the return from Spain. Even now it is reported that every Democrat is providing himself with a shock absorber; and the leaders of the party are laying in sufficient numbers to bo fully equipped, fore and aft. A forecast declares, that with Pinchot reading read-ing Perkins out of the Bull Moose party, and Tillman Till-man and Vardaman reading the Democratic party into the chief executive, it would appear that the white balls elect in November. An augury declares the Seven Sisters is not a hair tonic, but rather a scalp remover from a business standpoint. The same amount of work must be done, and that by new and inexperienced heads, making for extra expense from inefficiency and delays. The chief interest now centers in withdrawing names from the petitions, following the Attorney General's opinion. There is a sign that Mars will be called upon soon to declare his preference between Greece and greaser, between an Ottoman and a Mexican. The influence of Mars is said to have caused the skidding of the past few days at peace commission com-mission headquarters. The A. B. C. in obtaining results equals x y. Their efforts resemble a kitten's attempt to navigate from the center of a sheet of sticky fly paper. The stars are benefic in their aspect concerning concern-ing the visit of the discoverer of the River of Doubt. The concern of English people lest the terrible suffragette cause any annoyance to our Theodore comes from their not being familiar with his ohms of resistance. The English verdict is given in relation to the famous discovery. "My word, that is summat river, longer than from Lands End to John O'Groat's 'Ouse. It seems quite right, ye know, wen Mr. Rosin Felt tells it, old dear!" The obituary column contains important items under dates as follows: There will be tolls for the Panama 'Canal act in June, followed by tollB for Democracy in November. After that date the party will (lie) in state until the final obsequies ob-sequies on March 4th, 1917. Only friends of the deceased, if found, will be invited. No flowers. Requies "scat" in paces. Otherwise R. I. P. Red music, and slow fires. Town Crier. |