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Show AND HOW IS YOUR GASH? The scene is a veranda of a country club. The persons are smart young matrons in charming frocks nibbling daintily at the delicacies delica-cies of the season. Things have been going a trifle heavily until Mrs. "Algy" Rivington begins. Mrs. "Algy" Rivington Oh, I forgot, for-got, how is your gash, dear Mrs. Aller-ton? Aller-ton? Mrs. "Teddy" Allerton, becoming suddenly animated You do well to ask. My case was the most horrible on record, you know; simply the most horrible I So many complications. As Dr. Carver said: My dear Mrs. Allerton, Aller-ton, you always do have things in the most extraordinary fashion. Not at all like anybody else!" Which I suppose is perfectly true. In fact, they arc going go-ing to lecture on my particular case at the next clinic." Mrs. "Levy" Leavitt refusing the soft-shell crabs in her interest! Oh, are they, really? How perfectly lovely! love-ly! But, tell me, how many stitches did you have? My own gash was nearly four inches, you know! Mrs. "Teddy" Why, Dr. Carver says there were as many stitches as there would be in a coat, and that he felt more like a tailor than a surgeon. Mrs. "Dicky" D wight Dear me, how exciting! But, tell me, did you keep your appendix? You know Mrs. "Jimmie" kept hers. Chorus of all Oh, tell us about it, Mrs. "Timmie." Mrs. "Jimmie" Ridgelcy gracefully plucking at an artichoke Well, you sec, "Jimmie" had often said that he couldn't part with a bit of me not a single bit so before I went under the anaesthetic. I made them promise to keep the appendix. The doctor put it in alcohol, and I had a cut-glass jar made for it with a gold top. It is inscribed in-scribed with the date and "From Juliette Juli-ette to James," and stands on "Jim-mic's" "Jim-mic's" dressing table. Chorus How perfectly cute! Mrs "Teddy" Allerton with some rivalry Mine was in such a really dreadful state that preservation was out of the question. You know I was at the Browne Wentworth's house party when I was taken ill, and if the operation had been postponed half an hour longer I should never have survived sur-vived it positively never! All the surgeons agreed to that. Naturally, you could not keep an appendix of that sort. The Others regretfully Oh, too bad! Mrs. "Billy" Badgelcy Had mortification morti-fication set in in your case? You know it had in mine, and all the papers were printing bulletins of my condition, condi-tion, while crowds stood around to hear the latest news. I am quite sure I had turned perfectly black! The champagne cup is passed around and they all drink abstractedly. Mrs "Teddy" Allerton By the way, Mrs. Rivington, you ask about my gash it isn't possible that you haven't had one yourself? Mrs. "Algy" hastily Oh, dear, no! I had my trouble with supe- lj: BH riorityl at the same time as the king. 1 Ik HH Chorus Did you really? Wasn't J 1 ffi!3 that just thrilling! Tell us about it, !' ImR please! j jHfl Mrs. "Algy" Well, you see, I I MB was in London, and they thought it HH must have been the duchess's marble jn HH floor which was so cold to my feet in 1 j HH my thin slippers when I was dancing. ; j ; , fl The court surgeons attended me. But 1 Hfl "Algy" cabled to Dr. Carver to come ! j SH over, as he thinks there is nothing ! SB like American doctors when it comes ilBfl to cutting. As Dr. Carver had sev- H cral very important cases at the time, jH ' Algy" said for him to bring them all j j s EBH over with him, and he sent a fully fl equipped hospital ship for the pur- ; Hfl pose. The patients enjoyed the trip HH very nuch, and one or two of them tHj fully recovered. He lost only one, I ; j HH Mrs. "Teddy" You must have been ' fl frightfully ill! j J 9I Mrs. "Algy" modestly Well, i ' 9H rather, and it was feared that I j! HHV shouldn't be able to wear low gowns ! HH for a whole year. Fortunately, it was ! ! H not so bad as that. But I missed the ' I pH duchess's shooting-party in Scotland. The Others Oh, awful! ! .l'1 fl Mrs. "Vallie" Huntley Isn't it '' afl the most mortifying thing? The doc- tors have all refused to perform the Hi operation on me. I still have my ap- i ifl pendix! But I had a floating kidney l! j Ifl pnee, and that was very serious. It m fl had to be anchored, and I suffered ' IH horribly. They sent for my pictures I '! ! RH from all the papers, and "Vallie" had V H to recall the invitations we had out i ' , H for a dinner dance. The doctors ' j i H agreed that it- was worse than any H simple, uncomplicated case of appen- , , H dicitis. In fact, there was very little II !H appendicitis in our set that season. H Kidney troubles were ever so much ' Bp more in vogue. HB Mrs. "Larry" Vernon briskly i BR Why, that was the very season I had H my a-ppendix removed! I remember i ii Hi that you and I were operated on at the 1 1 HJ same time, and that you were out 1 , H lots sooner than II I was on my i' B back a whole month, and had seven ' H trained nurses. I was a bride at the H time, and poor "Larry" walked the , i HI floor day and night, wondering how 1 I H on earth he was ever going to get the 1 &H wedding presents back to their cor- ' ' (lH rcct senders, as I hadn't kept the VI iv.v.1. oumtia, a& j. iiauu t Kept tnc , cards. Indeed, Mrs. "Vallie," you arc I quite mistaken about there being no I Hi appendicitis in our set that season. I H had it, and there were several other I 1 1 1 cases that I know of! 1 , MtrsVl "Vallie" apologetically I, ' 1 Well, I know there was one year when HI there wasn't any, and the doctors H didn t know how they were going to IN M make a living. Dr. Carver simply sat !! fl in his office day after day twiddling ' H his thumbs. 1 1 HJ Mrs. "Teddy" tactfully What is ' H a floating kidney? It sounds so chic ( H like rognon saute, or something of ffl that sort. Is it a bad thing to have? H Mrs. "Vallie" eagerly The most H shocking thing, and comes entirely of 129 high living. Your kidney simply gets . M loose and floats, and if they can't catch ' I H and anchor it you arc done for, I sup- fl pose. The surgeons said there never H was one so hard to get hold of as fl mine, and every time they thought i f fl they had it, it floated off again se- i ' fl renely. You can imagine what I went fl through, and all the time every sort I fl of charming entertainment going on! !) 1 "Vallie" you know his way sent ; i M abbreviated telegrams when I was re- ; ! fl covering: "Joe and kid better," and i j ; fl every one thought it was quite another P i fl thing, and I was deluged with caps 1 fl and socks and lace bibs, which was 1 ' fl frightfully embarrassing, as bash- ! fl fully we had never had a visit from : fl the stork, you know. 5 rfl Chorus Oh, awfully embarrassing! 1 fl As the sorbet goes round every one fl is m prime spirits. New York Her- jjj jH |
