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Show "Love went laughing by my house With a lantern in his hand," writes a fair poetess of the eaBt. Perhaps a case of mistaken identity. It may have been a night-watchman night-watchman who was thinking of something funny. Kirkwood, Mo., has a new ordinance making it a felony to tell a lie inside the city limits. The wives of the place no doubt warmly endorse it. Two prize figters were killed in the ring recently. re-cently. The pug game is becoming almost as dangerous as football. T She isn't a beauty Is really plain ! B Her gait isn't sylph-like; not quite; 1 'H She scarce knows enough to go in. from the ; . ' B rain, .B . And isn't remarkably brigh ''m Her figure in bathing attire on the beach jP Is scarcely a model of grace, .jH And yet the young gentlemen call her a ' ' peach, k';iB Because she has fuzz on her face. ' 'ijK Secretary "Wilson says the corncob Is' of no .-m use to mankind. It is quite evident that the ifB secretary never sat in a Missouri shack on a fB cold winter night before a blazing corncob fire iB with a corncob pipe in his jaws. HB ' n;9H A bolt of lightning struck a moonshine dis- : 'B tillery in Georgia and was so badly warped that ''B Jove will not be able to use it again. -jfll A new novel Is entitled: "In the Days of the 'Wm Comet." Many of us who have never made a K close study of astronomy have labored under the ';H impression that the comet was a nightbird. ."liH A man named Ice is running for the legislature 'jjB In West Virginia. If he lived in a state where ;B the ice trust is doing business he wouldn't get rB votes enough to stuff a female doll's bustle. 'iB A southern paper says that crushed mint 'B leaves bound upon the forehead will relieve Head- H ache. Sort of a "hair-of-the-dog-will-cure-the-biCe" 1H remedy. Sj IB The Boston Post declares that man Is woman's !H handicap. Ho is also her mighTy Tiandychap when she wants her waist buttoned up the verte- brae. jH While a Pennsylvania man was beating a car- jji-H pet a tack flew out and destroyed one of his eyes. - I'ffl Yet in the face o'f such a warning some unfeel- ing husbands will insist upon depriving their JH wives of that healthful exercise. ;H A wife's vacation now and then 'H Is relished by the best of men, , But when the novelty doth wane ; B They're glad to have 'em home again. 'IS "The wasp waist decreed by fashion has its 'il sting," says the Lousville Courier-Journal. Struck 'IB a pin, did you, brother? jjB "I hear Jones has embarked upon the sea of ';jv matrimony with the Widow Van Pelt." B " 'Embarked,' did you say? It seems to be the jB general impression that he was 'shanghaied.' " B The Snake. f B Have the Newlyriches been long in society?" .jB "Just long enough to consider their old friends V'B bourgeois, but not long enough to know how to B pronounce the word." The Envious One. ,M II |