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Show H AS WILL BE SEEN IN HISTORY. Bfl A good many people, including some good Lat- B ter-day Saints, are saying that Heber Grant made B an egregious old ass of himself' when he gave Bfl that talk to' the University students and faculty. Bfl D6 they ever stop to think how the incident will BB read in Mormon history a few years hence? Will HB it not be something like this? Bfl "Now it came to pass in the 74th year of -the B Church that Heber J. Grant, a holy man and an B apostle, having returned to Zion from the far-off B land of the. Mongolians, and being weary from HB having tried to teach the almond-eyed Japs to jtf sing "The Holy Ci,ty," and having left the Japs IB oven more weary than himself; the leaders of the Bfl Church gathered themselves together to try to BB decide what it was best to do with the Apostle, VB for ho was filled with zetil and there were loose B hinges pn his mouth. And it came to pass that IB the chiefs had a revelation that the home church B was safest when an ocean rolled between it und H Heber, for Heber was the son of Jedidiah. who BB was a fire-brand and Heber was like his father, ex- B cdpt that under his fire works old Jedidiah had jfl borne sense. B So it was decreed that Heber should be set HB aside to preside over the British mission. BB Howbolt, being called upon to speak before the B students of the University of Utah and being BB filled with the spirit, Heber waxed warm and BB talked of polygamy. And he magnified it exceed- fl ingly, told of its rightfulness, righteousness mid deplored the fact that unkind laws made it in- BB convenient to further show his "zeal in that di- B rection," and he followed his dissertation with B gifts of gold to the University in his own name Hj and tho names of his wives. B Now1- in those (Jays there lived hard by one of BB the residences of Heber, even in a cave on Second B East street, a wioked man named Charles Mostyn BB Otyen, a rerller, a Republican, and "a great sinner, E who, tietng instigated by the ctavil, went before, B the Qemtile Sanhqclm and did there depose and BB swear to a belief that the son of Jedidiah was too B much married, and 'was, fo to speak, too prbmis- BB ououh In "holding out" females as his wives, con- Bt trary to tho statutes and agaliibt the poace und B dignity pjt the state of Ua; ana besought an es5 topple for the Apostle. Whereupon a warrant was issued and given to a Centurion of tho guards with injunctions to rest not but to bring the apostle apos-tle before one Elchnor who was prosecutor, and who was likewise a Republican and a sinner. Now, therefore, the Centurion, breathing threatenings went forth to apprehend Brother Heber. But the brethren repaired to tho Temple and prayed for the deliverance of the Apostle and their prayers prevailed, for lo, the Centurion came face to face with the Apostle on the street, but the Centurion's Centu-rion's eyes were blinded and the apostle placing his thumb to his nose wriggled his fingers at the Centurion and passed by on the other side and escaped es-caped scathless. And it came to pass that when the Centurion reported that the Apostle had vanished van-ished the wicked Charles Mostyn and the wicked Eichnor gnashed their teeth In a great rage and did revile the apostle and wished him hard luck and knawed a, file, but there was great rejoicing among"the faithful from Box- Elder and Brigham City, even to St. George, because the son of Jedidiah Jedi-diah had escaped. And when the Apostle had traveled a day's journey by rail a hundred dnys' journey by bull-team lo, at Kansas City, which is hard by Independence, he found and picked up his third wife and behold tin y fell upon each other's necks and laughed and said to each .other: "But didn't we bunco them?" and they lejolced exceedingly, and proceeding thence they passed St. Louis and Cincinnati in the night, for lo, the Dutch there made no note of time after 4 p. m. And when they had journeyed to Jersey City they took ship for Liverpool. Ana behold, when the ship cast off her lines the son of Jedidiah was hidden under a tarpaulin in the second cabin. Howbelt Madam Grant, the third, paced the deck and watched out. So it came to pass that when the bar was crossed, the pilot discharged and the ship was put upon her course at full T-eed.; lo, madam, the third, put her lips to a companion, way and in a loud voice shouted down: -"Heber, come out of your hole!" Wherefore Heber, who had been hidden, arose, stretched himself, and climbed on deck; he came up smiling. Moreover, as he sniffed the breeze from off the deep sea, noted tho speed of the ship and beheld the shore sinking in the steamer's wake, a groat joy came upon him, and, leaning on a capstand, he lifted up his voice and sang Miriam's Mi-riam's song, slightly paraphrased as follows: "Sing ye to the Lord, for he hsvh triumphed gloriously, glor-iously, the horse and the automobile hath he ' dumped into the Warm Springs." And the passengers pas-sengers on that ship marvelled greatly, and one said: "I never heard such singipg," and lo, another an-other said: "Pray God I may never hear the like-pgaln," like-pgaln," but the apostles and the patriarchs and the seventies and all the people behind the Wasatch Wa-satch range rejoiced exceedingly that the son of Jedidiah had escaped and that for a period they would be spared from any more explosions from Ileber's too voluminous and loo e-valved mouth. |