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Show IB J 1 SmoRe From the Weekly Bit Vipe. B 98 DREAMS AND THINGS. K ifll ' By Pst office scandals flurried, Wk m M ! And with weighty problems worried K9 One Perry Heath is doomed to spend insomnia- H I m flavored nights, H I m Proctor's face, ill.shaped and tragic, M w , Glowering oft, by devious magic, B vh '" Flits before his dizzy vision in somo weird and H J wondrous flights. M mM So poor Perry takes some lotion, m Mm i Or a tranquilizing potion, m if In the maddened hope that soon the Proctor H MM wraith will turn and flee; L But the form of rapt flirtation H fig JL v Which brings amplest consolation, H' II Is coquetting with that buzzing bum the sena- Lm 1 ji" torial bee. B f So with brow of much sedateness, , And with dreams of coming greatness, w Perry deftly tries to dodge the post official mar- v " line spike, m But while something else may smite him, m ' And the U. S. may indict him, , We're quite sure he will escape the senatorial 1 lightning-strike. Y ' The parsons and deacons and general run of yi 1j psalm singers In an Illinois town have lifted their Hlv 3 hands in pious consternation over the heartrend- H If ing moral convulsion resulting from the trans- f 1 I formation of the apartments formerly occupied Hit J by the Y. M. C. A. of that metropolis into a beer gf j, garden- conducted by a German with an. unspeak- Kjj If able cognomen. The most impious act on the HB tffi part of the Teuton was in decreeing that the Bflfj 1 beautiful sentiments which bedecked the walls K fr I should remain lEere, and in stating by way of ex- Hj p culpation that, moved by profound religious emo- B j j tion. he could not bring himself to a desecration Hj I jS j of the chamber by removing these pious sign Hf I posts pointing the byway to salvation. After all, Hfpi j ttie revolution does not seem to have been very mWS ' j l great. It merely meant a change from imbibing Hj ' spiritual food to imbibing spirits and, well, every Wt j j ( one is entitled to order whait he wants in the Bj i I , United States, if he has the price, and sometimes ' jS If ne hasn't H 1 I id 3 fcS B f At a recent social function, where all the gild- H ed one's shone with resplendence, the Baroness m , Hengelmuller mal-adroitly maneuvered one of her LL ' dainty feet, and by virtue of being- the wearer Kv ! of a Louis Quinze high-heeled slipper, was the Rj i, lovely victim of a sprained ankle. Current litera- H V ' ture in consequence is laden with epithets vitu- jHJ perative of the high. heel. But with so distin-, B j y guished a precedent to follow, it is probable that Bl j the Quinze variety of rudder will receive an ac- Bj I i celerated popularity and that for the next few Hi1 1 i weeks the smart sot will walk into the salons of i 1! social exclusiveness with a labored and dignified H I limp. H v tjn i IS . - f V ,Tnat resolution of Fernstrom's ait a recent I k session of that body of. matchless sages, the'CIty H I , f Council, in ,which the Herald reporter was denied H! 1 the courtesies of the Council chamber, was a les- H 1 son in the organic antagonism between the Swed- H j j lsh and Saxon dialects. The Swedish statesman's H belligerency towaril the reporter was due to an H 1 1 alleged false, reportorial 'representation to the of- B I feqty that in commenting on the Davis jHq I resolution of a week before, the Swede B' j bad stated that the Mormon officials were be- Hl ing discriminated against. The reporter, when Wttb given that loftiest of concessions, the privilege of the councilmanic floor, stated that Fernstrom had said Mr. Davis was making an effort to show discrimination dis-crimination in favor of sectarian city officials. "Oh, is that vere it iss?" sad Pernstrom. "I hav' not sad sectarian; vat I hav' sad is saartain city officials." Whereupon the City Council smothered some incipient outbursts of mirth, and the resolution was .corcumspectly laid on the table. 3 I? 3 FRIEND LUKE. There was a young person named Luke, 'Who received a real serious rebuke. The mazouma we owed In his wallet he stowed, And we love him llkeunto a spook. But the grand jury clasped him Ere we could have grasped him, And we hope the said jury won't fluke. lJ i5 S? Mr. Alma D. Katz, erstwhile the pride of Zion, bul Tiow a resident of Boise, has been in the city for ib.! past few davg. Unfortunately, Mr. Ki.z did not bring with him the uniform appertaining to his distinguished rank as a staff officer to the Governor, and so for the present the exceeding delight will not be vouchsafed us of seeing his robust form decked in purple and gold and gleaming gleam-ing epaulettes. Mr. Katz promises not to be guilty of so greivous an oversight on the occasion occa-sion of his next visit, which all good citizens and many others hope will be in the near future. v (JV V SISTERS TWAIN. There is none like Ethel of the North countrie; None so fair in the warm kind world; Save Mollie, the other of sisters twain, With hair by the zephyrs curled. t By a sonorous brook in the North countrie Strolled fair Ethel upon a day; And the sun and azure were visions of gloom H And the wonderful verdure of May H Was bleak compared with the glory I saw BB By that brook as it frolicked away. IH But in the witchery of shimmering stars U O rapture of exquisite pain III Came Mollie, and all tile stars expired, 111 And never and never again mH Shall I see in the scintillant years to be H One like she of the sisters twain. H So my heart, In a lavish expanslveness, H In a dual delirium was caught; WM Did culpable Cupid ere ravish one so Jg9 Or fashion so fiendish a plot u9 Would that all the wide world were of sisters I twain, I Or that one of the same were Not. I A. K. N. I |