| Show OVER New Olympics-Russian Styling 1 By H. I. Phillips Russia announces it will SOVIET compete in the Olympic A claim that Zeus was a Russian and that the first victor was not but Ivanoff is We propose the following PART ONE Throwing the Excoriation competitors to be allowed to throw with both hands at a time of their own Judges to be named from editorial board of Pole Vault contestants to Jump Height of Its vault to be determined by Kremlin All nations limited to two Jumps except which will continue to Jump as long as It likes in accordance with party Walkout to give any competitor on earth a start of 50 yards and walk out with the least provocation and the greatest Walkout entries to consist exclusively delegates to diplomatic conferences Relay Walkout will be officially as the Andrei Gromyko Heel it Toe Limited to delegates to the United contestants to be allowed to beat the gun and shout while PART TWO Hurling the Vet o to and Satellites Veto to be hurled without warm-up or practice Moscow claims to hold world record for hurling the veto ice cold and will stand for no dispute of Use of resin bag In veto hurling Should any Russian entered for this event be unable to veto may be hurled by a committee of his own PART THREE line to be decided by Joe Stalin AFTER each heat and following official description of the race from Watchdog Wrestling team to have right to pick name time of events and own rules for grip and wrestlers to be allowed to break headlock and toehold by Boxing boxers to tape own fists without wear gloves of any weight desired and shorten any round in keeping with Politburo Rule about going to corn-T after a knockdown to apply to other nations Russian boxers to be permitted to frame procedural rules in such a Basketball to use Invisible announcing score by PART Double to spot any nation a lead and beat It with Glare team to be made up of Kremlin diplomats of at least five year's training in answering a protest with a fixed look of extreme Upside-down Marathon Is the feature event of the for Competitors to carry the torch passing it on while reaching a difficult trick in which the team has a big Contestants must run forward while facing back-I Putting on running shoes backwards |
