Show t r I I BROADWAY AND MAIN STREET Art Is Long but Life Is Short Full o of Lumps cn and Black Eyes By BILLY ROSE ROSE- If you can come quick my Aunt Frieda said over the phone come quick Your Uncle Charlie is in trouble Half an hour later I was in the flat on the lower East Side where Frieda Fricda has been keeping house and hearth for my uncle for forthe forthe forthe the past 30 years up I asked Charlie is hiding in Brooklyn with his brother II said Frieda Hiding from tram what From Herman the butcher who is telling how he is going to knock out your uncles uncle's eye What did C Charlie h a r Ii e do to I What didn't he do said Frieda But better I should tell it to you in sequins So happens last summer your o r uncle and me we are one afternoon afternoon after aUer- noon taking the theair theair theair air on Delancey Street On t the h e fi 41 9 sidewalk like always always always al al- ways i 1 is s sail all r kinds c chalk chalk- h a I k- k marks and ands s scratch c rat c h ups from children x which your uncle has been seeing all his l life e. e BUly Billy Rose Rosa I Is s v very e r y touching says Charlie Is here on the sidewalks the soul of ot the East EastSide EastSide EastSide Side trying for tor some kind sion Some day should be a real to draw up the neighbor neighbor- hood I WELL LIKE YOU KNOW with Charlie to think is to do something crazy The next night he is coing going to the settlement house and joining a art class And in the room is sitting a fat girl in a kimona on a platform and the scholars are holding holding hold hold- ing out their thumbs and squinting with the eyes I Draw exactly what you see says the teacher Half Hal hour later when the teacher teach teach- er cr comes for a to see what your uncle has done he begins making noises like busting On Charlies Charlie's drawing board is a picture of a thumbnail sitting on top a big pencil This it is s a II class in n drawing not manicuring manicuring says the teacher Take Tak your business someplace else When Charlie comes home mad I tell him Let sleeping dogs stay sleeping But you k know your uncle next next day he is going uptown to the Museum from Modern Art and when he gets back he lie is all agog- agog gle Frieda ho says to 10 b be a a man maTI dont don't need eed per per- e. What h he needs is s gui gui- tars lars A picture can b be a II piece fm fruit l or a chair with on one leg leg leg- makes no difference so long asin as asin asin in th the corner Is s a guitar So for the next week he is painting guitars Moon guitars Moon Over Stanton Stanton Stanton Stan- Stan ton Street with Guitars Baby on Pushcart with Guitars and even a picture Guitar with Guitars THEN A FEW WEEKS later as the crow flies is opening in the Metropolitan for 50 cents a show from rom a Frenchman Van Glick Click Van Goldberg something something- Van Gogh I suggested the difference so long as youre you're healthy said Aunt Frieda When Charlie is coming from the museum he Is saying Today I find out something absolutely hair- hair racing This Van Cook is all his l life e selling one picture for few measly dollars but now when hes he's dead and cant can't eat his paintings is worth 30 million No wonder he heIs heIs heis is cutting of off his ear and they got gotto gotto gotto to drag him to a asylum Your uncle mills and mulls for fora a few days and then he is making a decision Frieda he says it doesn't pay a man should be like this Van Cook Supposing I sell maybe one picture for five dollars during my lifetime entire and then when Im I'm dead and gone the pictures pictures pictures pic pic- tures is worth 30 million By the time I am dead and gone you wilbe will wil willbe willbe be likewise dead and gone so who gets the 30 million My brother Why should that loafer get my 30 million Let him go out and make his own 30 million From now on I Iam Iam am strictly a stylish old-stylish realist anc and making pictures with cash value Like Grandma Moses Which I am signing Grandma Moishe Next day Charlie Charli Is s going to tose se see our butcher Im going to paint a mil muriel riel on your wall b be says a whole panorama all kinds succulent meats Will be bo good for the cash register says What I got to lose and so Charlie paints him a muriel which he calls by name th the Spirit of Meat When it is finished is saying when he sees see I your uncle he knocks out his eye Was it that bad I asked A man could go bankrupt from such a picture said my Aunt Aun Frieda In Hermans Herman's strictly Kosher Kosh Kosh- er store your uncle Is painting on the wall nice cuts chuck steaks first class plucked chickens But in the middle is th the Spirit of Meat holding a pound 15 you you should excuse the expression expressio Virginia ham |