Show Public Dumps Woes on USCO DF Book Has Wacky Requests Made of Unit NEW From YORK YORK From a yacht acht off oft the Virginia coast the distress message message message mes mes- sage flashed hair has been set by home permanent wave outfit Neutralizer spilled and lost We have no way to remove permanent solution Advise Advise Ad Ad- vise soonest what to do Ashore a coast guard lieutenant rubbed his chin sighed deeply and reached for the telephone m an n hour dots and dashes spelled out this his message to the distressed husband husband hus- hus band and Try four ounces peroxide In quart uart of water If It no peroxide available wash 10 times with any soap and shampoo And so the coast guard search and nd rescue division chalked up another anther an an- other ther victory over disaster disaster and and another another anther an an- other ther story was entered in a remarkable remarkable remarkable re re- re- re log knows in coast guard circles as the D DF F. F book D F. F stands for tor the kind of ot question that people keep asking the he 3rd coast guard district night and nd day day day-by by wireless by phone and andin andin in n person They get some some dillies at their heir headquarters Do barnacles bite No maam How deep is the Atlantic ocean cean It varies sir sir up up to 30 45 feet at a point north of Puerto Rico How can I avoid sea sickness The one sure remedy is to stay under a shady tree tee To some extent the search and rescue division is a victim of at its itE own good reputation People expect it t to know everything do anything Witness this item from the D F 1 book Received call from excited excite woman requesting we find and board husbands husband's fishing boat somewhere somewhere some some- where In Long Island sound and see if it a silly acting dumpy little redhead is with him Advised caller caUer that unless boat reported missing in distress coast coastguard coastguard coastguard guard had no cause to tv hunt for tor it Caller became highly indignant asserted men were all aU alike said coast guard typical of ot government red tape All calls get attention whether they seem destined for the D F. F book or not It pays One day a mysterious voice on the phone said narcotics woud be found In a certain cere tain tamn place on em a certain incoming ship It sound sounded d fishy but the coast guard u rd r 0 nir if d the cl customs toms They found 70 O worth if f d d' d dr r r |