Show Ruminating on Ruminants Or Cogitating About Cows B By and ancI Commentator 4 News AWs Analyst r r V WASHINGTON The The ASHINGTON-The The subject of cows recently has been I r- r called to my attention f j In the early crossword pre days a cow was supposed to be an animal of the bovine species Now it is just a three letter word meaning rum rumi ruminant i- i nant There is another three letter word which also sometimes means a ruminant of which I will speak later Before I knew that a cow was either cither a member of the bovine species species species cies or a ruminant 1 I thought it was fearful something f w which h i c h was euF eu- eu r F t. t p addressed addressed adt ad ad- t dressed as Bosz Bossie Bos z sie sic and which If I Iwas f was told would 1 l r not hurt me rae I 1 the former t took i Po statement as correct cor cor- il 1 but had grave doubts about the latter Later I was taught that w o spelled not bossie I but cow and still later I 1 was chased by one This caused d additional doubt concerning t 3 free information furnished by ones one's ciders elders Then came the tue crossword puzzles I saw saw that three horizontal was a ar three letter word meaning ruminant r 1 Having heard of the word ruminate ruminate rumi rum nate by that time and thinking 1 J that thinking or i if you will ruminating ruminating rumi rumi- was a fairly common practice practice practice tice among the genus homo I wrote down man Later when I met a ait it number of congressmen I was cont convinced convinced con con- t- t tj j vinced of my error I Now I 1 know that neither defini definition i- i tion Is entirely wron wrong A cow ruminates ruminates ruminates ru ru- ru- ru when It chews Its cud end ha having vin chewed it before beCore and a aman aman aman man ruminates when he chews an 3 Idea upon which he has chewed r before f In some ways however vever cows and men differ diller In fact cows even differ diller In some respects from women al although although although al- al though all three creatures man creatures man 4 woman and cow cow are are mammals the highest form of vertebrate those which the authorities inform m me nurse their young with milk Just how man gets into this category is JS isa s sa a little beyond me but that is what the scientist says and I 1 am willing willingto to strain my credulity a little After Arter all I suppose that my father who paid for the milk which I drank when I got so I could take it out of ofa ofa ofa a glass nourished me in a manner of speaking We will let it go Igo at that although it seems to me rae that a aman aman man assumes a little of what might be criticized as the gland manner of speaking when he tries to get more than a grade B rating as a mammaL But to return to the differences between cows on the one hand and men inca and women on the other other- and and andI I think no one will contradict me when I say there ARE differences One thing a cow cannot do that a aman aman aman man can is blow v its own horn And Andas I as we know from listening to the soap operas it is easier to make a woman slip than to make a cowslip Now what has a a. cow got that you and I haven't Answer Cattie Cattle Cat Cat- tie tic arc are closely related to the buffalo bif- bif f- f falo the bison and the yak 1 I defy deCy any genealogist to produce a bison a buffalo buCCalo and a yak in one human F family tree On the tho other ha hand band d in the branches of oC a cows cow's family tree there arc are no monkeys In some ways the cow has superior abilities For instance I have seen seena a cow roll roU over without spilling a drop of milk which is more than any man carrying a similar amount of lacteal fluid could do I 1 Philologically the cow seems to T have somewhat of an edge on man at nt least for those who believe in the capitalistic system The Latin word for cattle as of course you know 1 if you just looked it up as I did Is ts And the word pecuniary is derived from that and the words cattle chattel and capital capit 1 are to each other what cow itself is to bur buffalo bu- bu r tab falo lo bison and yak A All 1 present day breeds of cattle 1 am authoritatively informed are descended from the two types large larce and small known in hi prehistoric times In Europe However in reS recent re reo S cent time time- and now we are getting down to what started me ruminating ing something new has been ad ad- ded We now have developed what might be laughingly called hot cows and cold cows f Th The hot are arc the which have been insinuated into our own American strains to inure them to our southern latitudes and for other purposes As you know Brahma cattle are known by their humps A At t braw Brahma has a large hump just T 7 abaft the shoulders a d the others 4 of lesser rank have smaller humps getting down to something not much larger than a fever blister The cold cow is quite a differ differ- cat ent thing As might be expected It comes from rom Russia where they Invented Invented in invented In- In vented the cold war the cold der and the common or Siberian cold which is used to correct false alse ideologies longevity and monopolistic tic ic capitalism I It t i c When applied to cows Instead of capitalists the cold has the tho opposite opposite site siLo effect on lon longevity AccordIng AccordIng Accord- Accord Ing Ins to a recent article in Food Industries Industries In In- a 1 l publication tion the Russians lave produced by means of oC a chilling process applied ap ap- plied from early carly hood calf cows which live lire with a high output to o 15 years ye yield up to liters of oC milk and give I e birth to 15 calves The process Is simple One selects selects se so- a calf from selected parents It Is put in an unheated barn where the temperature is kept at five degrees degrees degrees de de- de- de grees fahrenheit The barns I take it are much like the ordinary Soviet citizens citizen's dwelling except that there Is plenty of bedding and the calves J This Is Es Pat Walker of Woodland Calif CaliC queen of oC the Poly loyal Koyal celebration at California State Slate Polytechnic college With her to todo todo todo do a 1 spot of or ruminating is one of or the colleges college's better beef beer sires Domino Prince His lIis mother was one of oC the aristocratic ruminants rum rumi nants who even now chews her cud In pride over the elegance cleg oCher of oC her son are arc provided with earmuffs A A citizen citizen citizen citi citi- zen of th the USSR doesn't need the earmuffs because he is only al allowed a- a l- l lowed to listen to what the government government govern govern- ment thinks Is good for him and arid if his ears cars freeze its it's all right with the censor The results of the chilling process on calves appear remarkable but not for a moment would I doubt the veracity of the writer writer despite despite my early experience with erroneous Information Information In In- formation concerning cows The other type of ruminant upon which these ruminations are based is illustrated in these columns S The Old Order It After the grey winter days New Hampshire avenue almost sparkles these spring mornings The elm buds are spreading and the shadows of trunk and limb make sharp patterns on the wide expanse of the huge Belmont house This house bouse now is occupied by the Eastern Eastern East East- ern em Star Star Star-no no family ever could have done more than rattle about In that palatial mansion I suppose there will be few such palaces built in Washington any more one more one after aCter another another an an- other they are arc being torn lorn down The Leiter house on Dupont Circle is gone and a family hotel is is' is rising In its place Many other mansions too big for embassies even served a as boarding houses for war workers and now they are empty and for sale One huge house which I pass occasionally oc oe- oc- oc is opened when the third gen generation ration which still retains some of the original fortune comes to Washington for a wedding or a party After that the house Is sealed up again the burglar alarms are attached and the old residence goes back to dreaming of the past A part of ot this section of Washington Wash Wash- ington Ington ington-Dupont Dupont Circle Is being sealed off oft for Cor a year while the burrow under the thc grassy park to ro make an underpass for Cor trolley cars and automobiles This will be the final Blow V of disfiguration dis figuration to Connecticut avenue which has yielded gradually lly over the years since I first knew it to the Invasion A block below Dupont Circle that once was gay with the chatter of nursemaids and children of the foreign diplomats stood the British embassy On the site today is a filling station station S S Americans have eaten bananas since the century but still many misconceptions concerning them exist ex cx- 1st says Middle America tion Not we hope that they should be kept in the refrigerator Two thirds of all divor divorces es are arc granted to to tow w women Is that because bemuse pt of male malc chivalry the lack k of it in i |