| Show Kathleen Norris Says Happiness Won on by Hard ar Work W Not Work Not Luck Features Bell Syndicate 9 T r t tT ts J s V iV ir i- i 1 T r i I IDress Dress your part part not not expensively but in those slack slach and blouse effects that make a small woman of 32 look like a nice boy By KATHLEEN NORRIS TT THEN HEN I was 18 I marA married married mar- mar WHEN A Aried ried the boy every girl in our town wanted wanted wanted want want- ed to marry writes Catherine Cather Cather- ine Van Orden from a smalltown small smalltown smalltown town near Buffalo He was 26 just back from college rich and handsome Girls envied envied envied en en- vied me and I enjoyed it as I picked my trousseau and practiced writing my new name We had a beautiful wedding 13 years ago Now we have three children children children-Bev- Bev Beverly erly who is 10 Tom 7 and Shirley 4 4 For a few years Fred and I were Idyllically happy it was all Paradise Para Para- dise ise We traveled we built a lovely house Severe financial losses because because because be be- cause of ot his fathers father's bad judgment somewhat curtailed our holidays and the arrival of babies kept me much at home Until six years ago however I always had a nurse as aswell aswell aswell well as a cook and although it meant pretty steady work at home for me too I knew I was among the lucky women of ot the world When the war began Fred instantly instantly instantly in in- entered the navy rising to the rank of commander before the war ended My mother came to live with me there were no longer servants in the house and r life became quieter and more domestic than ever Then Fred came home changed His letters had been all love and homesickness he had no sooner returned returned returned re re- re- re turned than it became evident that I he had lost interest in us entirely I dont don't say entirely for tor in certain moods he will question the children laugh at them perhaps bring them some little toy roy he has seen on the I streets But for tor me he has only absent minded politeness bored I looks long silences We do not quarrel as we did when he was a spoiled young society favorite and andI I a spoiled child I wish we could quarrel now at least that is s living Now it is as if H he were not here even when he is at home He Is Silent and Moody I arranged a quiet room for himat him himat himat at the top of at the house to save him the childrens children's racket He occupies it alone He hardly listens to break break- table fast talk and is rarely at home for tor dinner Of Ot course you will think another er woman Perhaps there is one These vampires who go about in society trying to break up homes like ours are plentiful enough But ButI I think it is rather a great weariness ness Fred needs new friends now new audience he needs escape This little town seems dull and confining to him and my mothers mother's talk and mine about the children and the table table table ta ta- ta- ta ble probably bores him terribly But what can I do to win him back He doesn't want to go places with me doesn't want to entertain isn't interested in old friends He lives a life lile apart from us and it itis itis itis is all the harder because my mother moth moth- er and I really do have to work hard to keep this big house and this family of six comfortable it is always a struggle to keep abreast of the childrens children's childrens childrens children's chil chil- drens dren's claims of ot school clothes meals manners health activities Isn't that my first job I T cant can't pack them all off oU to schools boarding throw Mother out buy extravagant clothes and go dancing with Fred again On the other hand I simply cant can't cant I I wont won't wont drift drift so far away from him that we lose each other otherl I He listens politely to my arguments Girls envied me and I enjoyed it i I IMPROVE YOURSELF Men who went to war ivar su suffered suffered suf suf- f- f much and endured harrowing har- har rowing experiences They came s bach back changed That has been I said so often it would seem I that everone everyone particularly wives o of f veterans would mow know I it They also have been told that most o of f these men flan will recover their prewar prellar person perron- personalities i if f given time and sympathetic sympathetic sympathetic sym sym- pathetic help Today's story is a little di dif dif- f fI I ferent erent Catherine has been married for 13 years to a wealthy handsome man Everyone envied her and for fora a few years jears they were idyllically idyllically idyllically idyl happy They have 3 children the eldest 10 the youngest 4 1 Fred im impelled by patriotism entered the navy and served as an officer Meanwhile Meanwhile Mean Mean- while Catherine had to carry carryon on the household as best she could coul without servants Her mother lived with her liar during the war ivar Now that Fred has returned he seems curiously detached and silent He stays stas away many evenings and seems bored with the town and with his old friends Catherine wants to know how she can win ivin him back and how to find new interests for him shrugs goes away I am becoming maddened with nerves and doubts do help me if you can To this bewildered cry I can only say what I have said in this col col- column column column before as long as you are living living liv liv- living ing Freds Fred's life Catherine you will indeed be maddened with nerves and doubts You are one human being Fred is another To make your life a mirror of his or a pale copy of at his to l let t him know that he has the power to render you completely completely completely com com- miserable is to hurt yourself yourself yourself your your- self destroy the very thing you are trying to accomplish and moreover moreover moreover more more- over do him a grave injustice Make Yourself Interesting It isn't fair to Fred to burden his homecoming after the four terrible I years that have demoralized the entire entire entire en en- tire world and expect him to fall quietly into line Leave Fred alone Work on your your- self sell Make your nervous dissatisfied fied fled unchanged self sell into something more thrilling Try experiments in meals out meals out in the gard garden n or sandwiches sandwiches sandwiches sand sand- taken to the shore Start table games with the children that will absorb them and you and Grandma leaving Fred to think that he has a mighty pretty gay and sufficient self family and a pretty pleasant home Dont Don't give parties but invite an old friend or two to come in unexpectedly now and then dress your part part not not expensively expensively expensively but in those slack-and-blouse slack effects that make a small woman of ot 32 look like a nice boy N Never ever question him criticize or complain Dont Don't be bc Freds Fred's parasite parasite parasite para para- site be a person in your own right You had your good times early the spoiled little beauty who made the big match Now grow up to yourself yourself your your- self sell in a more sober atmosphere remembering rememberIng remembering re re- what Lowell said so long ago earth has its price for what earth gives us Happiness fought for tor and won is better than the thc merely lucky brand every time |
