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Show Rag Time. When a man Is Intoxicated with lovo or whisky he is quite apt to bo sentimental enough to propose. If wishes wero horses, It would cost something to hnvo them nnd still nioro to keep them. H'MWORltt Kl.rW.K-IHAVCA V DC2tN YACMTJ I OWN Two Ti0 cr eppiCATioH in Mr LiBRY-fuJ Money talks all right. That's why so many of tho nuwly rich nro so loud. A Chicago man comes Into tho limelight lime-light nnd declares that a bad oyo Is responsible for drunkenness. Get out! Ho must menu that drunkenness Is responsible for tho bad oyo! "Many a man fools nway his tlmo staying up whon ho should bo asleep," sayB an exchange Poker game? Or docs n burglar tnko his watch? Family trees nro qulto apt to bo shady. An exchango tells us tho important news that a clgaret Is 2 Indies long. This Is "too much" by at least 214 inches. lllngs got mnd at Wings and called him a byperbrachycephallc. Uy tho (lino Wings found out whnt Hlngs meant, ho had cooled down, nnd tho noxt day ho loaned Ulngs his now snow shovel, nought yours yet? Detroit Is said to manufacture 1.000,-000,000 1.000,-000,000 pills a year. How can disease stnntl such a plll-nge? "Plant nioro hogs! '' exclaims a amall pica exchango, In 'cr bust n' confidence. No, sir, wo don't plunt no nioro hogs! Wo planted some of th' dinged things last year nnd thnr cum on such a drought wo had to carry water nil summer to souk their ribs so'st they would hold bwIII an' git fat 'nough fer market! No nioro pig plnntln' for us, thank yo! Somo womon could play poker for sovon years nnd not lenrn what constitutes con-stitutes a "llttlo dog." Onco thoro wnsi a girl who had two vory earnest lovers, and tho girl couldn't decldo which of tho two sho loved tho bettor. Then ono of them wont nwny to tho mines and got rich, wbllo tho othor ono stayed at homo nnd clerked In tho local clothing storo. Then, ono day, tho rich minor enmo back to claim hla lovo nnd found that sho had married tho clork, who was still clorklng, and had threo chlldron nnd minting spoils, wnen tho woman saw hor old lover, sho sighed, but tho man smllod resignedly and went nway. This Is Llfo! |