Show ph r W i AUTO RATIONING Q why did you want a new car A its iti the only way ican I 1 can get five new wes tires Q aro arc you aware of tho the restrictions A no out but I 1 knew something wa 5 all wrong I 1 called up several auto salesrooms sales rooms yesterday and in no case did a salesman show up at roy my h home ome inside of five minutes 4 Q you already have a car ayes Q wrong with it A nothing Q then why do you wish a new model A M my y wife thinks our next net door neighbors car looks bettor better Q the kind of car your neighbors have Is of no importance athams what YOU think 1 0 0 4 conly certain classes ot of people are eligible for now new cars are you a doctor A no but my feet are just as tender Q are you a farm veterinarian A Is this a car rationing bureau or an information please program aare you engaged in fire fighting ano just an impression some people get from the way I 1 drive 4 a Q are you engaged in crime prevention ven tion A no but if let me have a new auto ill give any cop a lift from now on aare you engaged in law enforcement A yes im a lawyer Q 1 I said enforcement not evasion A I 1 come here to be insulted Q all right we dont mind doing it listen do you regard a new car as a necessity A positively Q give three reasons A well first of on au I 1 live tour four blocks from my office and without a car I 1 would have to negotiate the entire distance on foot second we use the car to go to church Q how far Is the church A its ita almost an eighth of a mile I 1 Q your third reason tor for regarding a car as indispensable amy third reason Is 13 the most important of all is it A if I 1 have an automobile where would I 1 store all those outdated road maps and useless tools 0 4 ON PUBLIC DUTY folks who buy defense stamps gladly speed the day our toes foes run madly those who buy bonds make more certain Hitler ll get an early curtain 0 0 ed pearson who has evidently been flat hunting says he be cant understand der stand why the ads dont group apartments under three headings furnished unfurnished and under furnished 0 0 4 the united states department of agriculture is working on a motor fuel made from corn and potatoes juliet colt says it is going to seem funny anny to ask the station attendant for or six bushels of high test 0 0 0 candidates FOR TIIE THE FIRING SQUAD A guy on whom id pour hot gravy Is s always asking wheres Wh eret our navy 0 CAN YOU REMEMBER away back when a post office clerk sold nothing but postage a ima dodo bought one of those U S auto tax stamps today and she says she to is going to buy one every ever y day and save them until maturity canned beer may be discontinued di due to the need for tin it is okay with us we never did like reach ing into the icebox for a glass of beer and coming out with a can of 0 f tomatoes 0 a bloe aloe berg boston red sox ball player has retired from the dja dia mond mand to become a government good will ambassador to pan ilan america this ibis Is most encouraging we have long had bad A distinct impression that our team in that area was waa weak both in the field and at the bat bai mr berg speaks nine languages but the umpires were always able to defeat him in one baseball we favor more moc baseball players in our diplomatic forces you cant name one in twenty in our entire diplomatic service who has color speed punch or even a good throb throwing arm we will never think an envoy Is really good until we see some kids surround him and ask tor for un tn autograph 0 0 why ban those radio tfx pro grams it if the enemy gets as much wrong information from them hem As ai the he american people do everything will bo be just duelcy |