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Show B2 The Emery County Review, Tuesday, October 7, 2008 The FAMILY PAGE Horoscope Focus On The Family Crossword Figuratively Speaking FOCUS ON THE FAMILY Thoughtful Husband Agonizes Over Wife’s Infidelity Dr. James Dobson Q My wife has been involved in an affair with her boss for six months. I’ve known about it from the beginning, but just haven’t been able to confront her. Melanie acts like she doesn’t love me anyway. If I give her an ultimatum, I could lose her completely. Can you assure me that won’t happen? Have you ever offered the Love Must Be Tough advice and had it backfire, ending in divorce? Yes, I have, and I certainly understand your caution. I wish I could guarantee how Melanie will react to a firmer approach. Unfortunately, life offers few certainties, even when all the probabilities point in one direction. Sometimes wellconditioned athletes drop dead from heart attacks. Some outstanding parents raise children who rebel and become drug addicts. Some of the most intelligent, cautious businessmen foolishly bankrupt themselves. Life is like that. Things happen every day that shouldn’t have occurred. Nevertheless, we should go with the best information available to us. I saw a sign A that said, “The fastest horses don’t always win, but you should still bet on them.” Even as a non-gambler, that makes sense to me. Having offered that disclaimer, let me say that there is nothing risky about treating oneself with greater respect, exhibiting confidence and poise, pulling backward and releasing the door on the romantic trap. The positive benefits of that approach are often immediate and dramatic. Loving self-respect virtually never fails to have a salutary effect on a drifting lover, unless there is not the tiniest spark left to fan. Thus, in instances when opening the cage door results in a spouse’s sudden departure, the relationship was in the coffin, already. I’m reminded of the old proverb that says, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t come back, it never was yours in the first place.” There is a great truth in that adage, and it applies to your relationship with your wife. Now, obviously, it is risky to precipitate a period of crisis. When explosive individuals are involved in mid-life turmoil or a passionate fling with a new lover, great tact and wisdom are required to know when and how to respond. That’s why professional counsel is vital before, during and after the confrontation. It would be unthinkable of me to recommend that victims of affairs indiscriminately pose ultimatums with 24hour deadlines, or that they push an independent partner in a corner. Great caution is needed in such delicate conflicts. In short, I suggest that you seek the assistance of a competent counselor who can help you deal with the problem of Melanie’s affair. Our children are all on their own now and my husband and I are free to do some of the traveling we have always planned to do when we got them through college. But lately I feel too tired even to keep the house clean, and too depressed to care about planning or doing Q This week emotionally truthful Scorpio and Venus energies harmonize with the Libra sun, fostering honest exchange and closeness among treasured friends, partners and business relations. As some folks fumble for the right words, others sound smooth as silk. Avoid glossing over the truth by speaking from your feelings. Benjamin Disraeli once said, “Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for the truth.” ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re living large in a million small ways this week. The mood strikes for spur-of-the-moment celebrations, connecting with people in bold ways, practical jokes, games of chance and emotional risks. Your attention means so much to someone special on Thursday. The celebration is at your house on Saturday. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Your wilder dreams are more likely to come true than the ones that seem within your grasp. If you’ve ever wanted to live in another country, have an exotic pet or strike it rich panning for gold, all you have to do is start talking about these zany kinds of goals and progress starts to happen immediately. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your impulse to hide the irritation you feel is a good one. Being nice is so important this week, and you’ll be glad if you err on the side of kindness. Sure, you can see a hundred ways to improve a situation, but it’s probably useless to point that out. People are trying their best given what they currently know. CANCER (June 22-July 22). The doors you want to open are heavily guarded. It’s as though you need a pass for entry and don’t know how to get it. Observe others. This is your week for finding strategic allies and mentors. Your desire is strong, and you have the talent, too. Stay on the path. Your time is coming. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You like to share your success stories. It’s part of the way you celebrate. It reinforces that what you did worked, and it inspires you to do even more. Some will not have the response you expect to your tale of winning. They might be envious or want something from you. Be selective in your choice of supporters. THIS WEEK’S BIRTHDAYS: You won’t tame your rebellious energies this year, but you will figure out how to make them work for you. Channeling your inner “rage” into positive pursuit takes you to amazing places. Friendships are a blast to maintain through October, and you’ll add a few more interesting characters to your brood over the next 10 weeks. A topsy-turvy romance adds sparkle to your holidays. Couples create new rituals together, strengthening their bond. Family helps each other out through January. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Getting your feelings out will give you the strength and clarity needed to deal with new challenges. Your viewpoint is fresh and original. Don’t be afraid to voice your dissenting opinion at the workplace. Your co-workers will ultimately Continued on Page B4. A FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY Holiday Mathis anything extra. I’m only 46, yet some days I can hardly get out of bed in the morning. I just want to put my head under the pillow and cry -- for no reason at all. So why do I feel so terrible? My husband is trying to be patient, but this morning he growled, “You have everything a woman could want -- what do you have to be blue about?” Do you think I could be losing my mind? I doubt if there is anything wrong with your mind. The symptoms you describe sound as if you may be entering menopause, and if so, your discomfort may be caused by the hormonal imbalance that accompanies glandular upheaval. I suggest that you make an appointment to see a gynecologist or other physician in the next few days. He or she can help you. (Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995. Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2008 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) John MacIntyre $58 billion: Amount of $214 billion: Total dol- money that global piracy has cost the American economy, according to the Institute for Policy Innovation report. lar value of U.S. high-tech merchandise exports in 2007, a decrease of 3 percent from $220 billion in 2006, according to AeA’s “Trade in the Cyberstates 2008.” 373,375: Number of jobs 18: Percentage of all U.S. $2.6 billion: Estimated 1: Rank of high-tech as the per year lost to U.S. workers. loss to the U.S. government in tax revenues -- including $1.8 billion in personal income tax and $800 million in lost corporate income and production taxes. Source: Institute for Policy Innovation. 35 minutes: Average length of an executive’s lunch break, according to a survey developed by OfficeTeam. 42 minutes: Response reported five years ago. 3 days: When survey re- spondents were asked how many days each week they worked through lunch, the average response. Source: OfficeTeam. exports to the world this represents. largest merchandise export sector in the United States. $48.2 billion: Dollar value of exports from California, the leading high-tech export state in 2007. Source: AeA. 39: Despite the economic doldrums afflicting the nation, projected percentage growth in the U.S. market for vitamins, minerals, homeopathics and herbals between 2008 and 2012. $8.5 billion: Estimated value of the market in 2012. Source: Packaged Facts. 41: Percentage of respondents who would subject themselves to a week of house arrest rather than miss the broadcast of an NFL game between two undefeated teams, according to a national study of men by Spike TV and TVGuide.com. Source: Spike TV. Contact Sir/Madam at or e-mail info@spiketv.com. See PRNewswire from March 10, 2008. 1: Rank of Buzzillions.com on the list of premier sites for user reviews, according to the November 2008 issue of ShopSmart, from the publisher of Consumer Reports. 1: Rank of Freeshipping.org for the best shipping deals. 1: Rank of Heyitsfree.net as the best site for freebies. 1: Rank of Pricegrabber.com as the place for bargains. Source: ShopSmart magazine. 1, 2: Ranks of “accelerat- ing development of key employees” (32 percent) and “competitive pay and benefits” (22 percent) as the top strategies that worked in retaining top talent, according to a Personnel Decisions International survey. Source: PDI. 50: When mothers from across the country were asked what concerned them most when buying food for their children, percentage who responded with sugar, according to a survey by the Corn Refiners Association. 64: Percentage of mothers who have concerns about their children’s health and nutrition as they return to school, despite the fact that nearly seven in 10 moms (68 percent) indicate their children’s schools have wellness policies. Source: Corn Refiners Association. Contact Audrae Erickson at (202) 331-1634. 39.7: Percentage of execu- tives who felt that data volumes in the organizations they’ve worked for are increasing in size and becoming unmanageable, owing in part to the amendment to the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure requiring that companies have the ability to access quickly an inventory of various electronically stored information in the event of litigation, according to an online poll, conducted by Deloitte. Source: Deloitte Financial Advisory Services LLP. Idle Thought “To read fast is as bad as to eat in a hurry.” -- Vilhelm Ekelund, poet (Copyright 2008 John MacIntyre Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) Puzzle Answers on Page B4. |