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Show The Emery County Review, Tuesday, June 10, 2008 The FAMILY PAGE Horoscope Focus On The Family Crossword B3 Figuratively Speaking FOCUS ON THE FAMILY Fathers Should Create Experiences with Sons Early On Dr. James Dobson Q A As a father, what should I be trying to accomplish with my son in these teen years? Someone has said, “Link a boy to the right man and he seldom goes wrong.” I believe that is true. If a dad and his son can develop hobbies together or other common interest, the rebellious years can pass in relative tranquility. What they experience may be remembered for a lifetime. I recall a song, written by Dan Fogelberg, which told about a father who shared his love of music with his son. It is called “Leader of the Band,” and its message touches something deep within me. The son talks of a father who “earned his love through discipline, a thundering, velvet hand.” The father’s “song is in my soul.” The son himself has become a “living legacy to the leader of the band.” Can’t you see this man going to visit his aged father today, with a lifetime of love passing between them? That must have been what God had in mind when he gave dads to boys. Let me address your question directly: what common ground are you cultivating with your impressionable son? Some fathers build or repair cars with them; some construct small models or make things in a woodshop. My dad and I hunted and fished together. There is no way to describe what those days meant to me as we entered the woods in the early hours of the morning. How could I get angry at this man who took time to be with me? We had wonderful talks while coming home from a day of laughter and fun in the country. I tried to maintain that kind of contact with my son. Opportunities to communicate openly and build the father-son relationship have to be created. It’s a goal that’s worth whatever it takes to achieve. When do children begin to develop a sexual nature? Does this occur suddenly during puberty? Q A No, it occurs long before puberty. Perhaps the most important concept suggested by Freud was his observation that children are not asexual. He stated that sexual gratification begins in the cradle and is first associated with feeding. Behavior during childhood is influenced considerably by sexual curiosity and interest, although the happy hormones do not take full charge until early adolescence. Thus, it is not uncommon for a four-year-old to be interested in nudity and the sexual apparatus of the opposite sex. The elementary school years are an important time in the forming of sexual attitudes. Parents should be careful not to express shock and disgust over this kind of curiosity, even though they have to disapprove of exploratory behavior. It is believed that many sexual problems begin as a result of inappropriate training during early childhood. You have described the nature of willfully defiant behavior and how parents should handle it. But does all unpleasant behavior result from rebellion and disobedience? No. Defiance can be very different in origin from the “challenging” Q A FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING HOROSCOPE Week of June 9-15 Wanda Perry Copley News Service ARIES (March 21 - April 19): Quick thinking will get you out of an uncomfortable situation with relative ease. Resist the temptation to slack off. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): The focus is on money and finances. Gather all of your resources and figure out a way to meet your fiscal obligations without destroying your budget. GEMINI (May 21 - June 21): Do not hesitate to relax and let the grass grow under your feet. Recharge your battery and prepare to move forward when opportunity knocks. CANCER (June 22 - July 22): The subconscious will be a very valuable tool. When in doubt, get quiet, go within and follow your intuition. LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22): Networking among your friends is worthwhile, exciting and enjoyable. Strive to build business and social relationships during a gathering. VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): The accent is on career development. Lead with power and conviction and take a direct approach to achieve your professional goals. LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): Enthusiasm and determination will take you where you want to go, and beyond. Add extra pep to your step and make the necessary rounds. SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21): It is time for a fiscal undertaking to pay off. Study returns and make a mental note of your progress in the form of profit or material gains. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Brainstorming sets the stage for a meaningful exchange of information. Reach out to a partner with some practical solutions to an uncanny dilemma. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Show your support for a humanistic or environmental cause. Take a break from mundane tasks and participate in a charitable project. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Be realistic when setting your goals and planning how you will achieve them. Make adjustments in your expectations to reflect a current situation. PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20): Concentrate your energies on the home front or on your personal relationships this week. Deal wisely with an emotional issue before it explodes. If your birthday is this week, you will find yourself involved in a plethora of inspiring activities during the coming year. Brace yourself for the unexpected and be prepared to take the path less traveled. Your creativity is stretched to the maximum and you are likely to walk away from this cycle fully aware of the level, depth or degree of your talents. Clean up old business and welcome an opportunity to strike out in a new direction. Also born this week: Johnny Depp, Tara Lipinski, Joe Montana, Chick Corea, William Butler Yeats, Lucy Hale and Ice Cube. For more information go to WandaPerry. com response I’ve been describing. A child’s negativism may be caused by frustration, disappointment, fatigue, illness, or rejection, and therefore must be interpreted as a warning signal to be heeded. Perhaps the toughest task in parenthood is to recognize the difference between these behavioral messages. A child’s resistant behavior always contains a message to his parents, which they must decode before responding. For example, a disobedient youngster may be saying, “I feel unloved now that I’m stuck with that screamin’ baby brother. Mom used to care for me; now nobody wants me. I hate everybody.” When this kind of message underlies the defiance, the parents should move quickly to pacify its cause. The art of good parenthood, then, revolves around the interpretation of behavior. Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995(www.family.org). Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2008 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate. John MacIntyre 39: Percentage of hiring agendas that are appropriately prepared, according to Proudfoot’s Consulting Business Review findings. managers who say the most important thing they look for in an applicant is a positive attitude and an eagerness to want the job. Source: SnagAJob.com. 49: Percentage where there 38: Percentage of employ- 41: Percentage of meeting is clear communication and preparation before the meeting. 39: Percentage that are at- tended punctually and with appropriate attendance. Source: Proudfoot Consulting. 49: Percentage of hiring managers at traditional hourly employment standbys such as retailers and restaurants who say they do not intend to take on any new seasonal workers in 2008, a consequence of the uncertain economy, according to a survey conducted by snagajob.com. 56: Percentage of hiring managers surveyed who agreed with the statement that “today’s youth do not have the same work ethic as previous generations have had.” ees who describe their wireless device as a necessity. 25: Percentage of survey respondents who admit to putting their wireless device down only when they are sleeping. 5: Percentage of respon- dents who admit to being 100 percent off-line when not in the office (down from 8 percent last year). Source: Yahoo! HotJobs. 73: Percentage of fathers who would sacrifice an exciting job for more time with their children, according to a survey conducted by Spike TV’s “State of Men 2008” in partnership with national research firm Penn, Schoen & Berland. 73: Percentage of fathers today who are also at least “somewhat willing” to be stay-at-home dads -- a 13point increase from 2004. 80: Percentage of men who indicated that what defines a man most is being a good husband and father. Source: Spike TV. 62: Percentage of adults in the U.S. who believe that the government should tax the wealthy more, according to a Financial Times/Harris Poll. 51: Percentage of adults in France (the lowest percentage in the countries polled) who agree. 56: Percentage of adults in the U.K. who agree. 77: Percentage of adults in Japan (the highest percentage in the countries polled) who agree. Source: Harris Interactive. 1.9: Average number of vehicles per household in the U.S. in both 2001 and 2008, according to U.S. Department of Energy, Energy Information Administration and Transportation Energy Consumption Surveys. 573: Average number of gallons of gas consumed per household in 2001. 597: Average number in 2008. $1.78: Average price per gallon in 2001 (allowing for adjustment in today’s dollar value), according to Oil Price Information Service in cooperation with Wright Express, distributed by AAA. $3.80: Average price per gallon today. Source: Campaign for America’s Future. 69: Percentage of respon- dents who do not know that you have to pay both the interest on your entire balance as well as a late fee when making a late credit card payment, according to a survey by the Center for Economic and Entrepreneurial Literacy. 97: Percentage of respon- dents who cannot identify the percentage that service fees typically take out of a $20 ATM withdrawal. Idle Thought “It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.” -- Rollo May, psychologist Copyright 2008 John MacIntyre Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate. See Page B8 for Puzzle Answers. |