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Show The Emery County Review, Tuesday, May 20, 2008 The FAMILY PAGE Horoscope Focus On The Family Crossword B3 Figuratively Speaking FOCUS ON THE FAMILY By Showing Strength, Wife Can Save Troubled Marriage Dr. James Dobson Q Last week you gave recommendations on how I could change my relationship with my unhappy husband, Joe. How is Joe likely to respond to the new me? He may test your resolve in the next few months by showing hostility, being aloof, or by flirting with other women. He’ll be watching during this time for signs of weakness or panic. If you continue to show self-confidence, you will convince him that he is actually free. Three things typically happen when you convey that understanding: (1) The trapped partner no longer feels it necessary to fight off the other, and the relationship improves. It is not that the love affair is rekindled, necessarily, but the strain between the two partners is often eased. (2) As the cool spouse begins to feel free again, the question he has been asking himself changes. After having wondered for weeks or months, “How can I get out of this mess?” he now asks, “Do I really want to go?” Just knowing that he can have his way often makes him less anxious to achieve it. A Sometimes it turns him around 180 degrees and brings him back home. (3) The third change occurs not in the cool spouse but in the mind of the vulnerable one. Incredibly, she feels better -- somehow more in control of the situation. There is no greater agony than journeying through a vale of tears, waiting in vain for the phone to ring or for a miracle to occur. Instead, the person begins to respect herself and receives small evidences of respect in return. Even though it is difficult to let go once and for all, there are ample rewards for doing so. One of those advantages involves the feeling that she has a definite course of action to follow. That is infinitely more comfortable than experiencing the utter despair of powerlessness that she felt before. And little by little, the healing process begins. Does this approach always work? Of course not. Nothing always works in human relationships. Some people will re-examine the decision to leave and decide to return. Others will keep on going. Either way, however, showing respect for yourself in the crisis will maximize the opportunities for your relationship to survive. Even if it’s too late to reconnect with Joe, you’ll have your self-confidence back and will be able to go on without him. We need a little more income to make it in my family, but I have preschool children and don’t want to seek employment outside the home. Is there an alternative for me to pursue? You might want to consider building a home-based business which can be done while taking care of your children and keeping your sanity. Among the possibilities are catering, desktop publishing, pet grooming, sewing, consulting and transcribing legal documents or even mail-order sales. Choosing which business is right for you is the first of three practical steps suggested by Donna Partow. She’s the author of a book called “Homemade Business.” You can start your own enterprise by taking a personal skills and interest inven- Q A FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING HOROSCOPE Week of May 26 to June 1 Wanda Perry Copley News Service ARIES (March 21 - April 19): Take time to personally deliver an invitation and avoid a misunderstanding or mishap. The time is right for cultural expression. Wake up and get inspired. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): Harboring feelings of insecurity will undermine your personal plans and delay your ultimate success. Pull yourself together and rise above your doubts or fears. GEMINI (May 21 - June 21): Spending time outdoors is great for the mind, body and soul this week. Take long walks in fresh air to contemplate the future and to mull over your thoughts. CANCER (June 22 - July 22): Direct your attention to tackling or completing projects already undertaken as opposed to starting new ones. Stay focused and produce some of your best work. LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22): Do not make the mistake of taking an important relationship for granted. When friends turn to you for help or guidance, be there to offer your support and advice. VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): A solid business plan will take you a good distance down the road of success. Put your thoughts for your professional ambitions in writing. LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): Expects delays, slowdowns or setbacks to affect your travel plans. Be prepared to make several changes or adjustments before reaching your desired destination. SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21): One false move in the financial world could send your earnings tumbling. Slow down and pay attention to instructions from an accountant or counselor. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Do not take it to heart if loved one’s plans do not include you. Refocus your attention and gladly give them the requested time and space. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Be aware of your limitations and do not expect more from a situation than is feasible or fair. Work with a colleague to eliminate a negative habit. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Shower youngsters with compliments and attention and help build their self-esteem. Listen to their concerns and address them with sincerity and honesty. PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20): Communicate with clarity and be willing to stand behind any promises that you make this week. Bury the hatchet and make peace with a family member. If your birthday is this week, there is an emotional and mental storm brewing that is sure to play havoc with your private or personal life. Make an effort to stay calm and take steps to improve communication between you and your loved ones during the coming year. Examine your feelings and be prepared to practice discipline in the affairs of the heart. Avoid loaning or giving away money in situations where you feel vulnerable or have more than just cash to lose. Also born this week: Lenny Kravitz, Andre 3000, Jim Thorpe, Bob Hope, Mel Blanc, Alanis Morissette and Walt Whitman. For more information go to WandaPerry. com. tory to identify your particular abilities and what you might like doing the best. The second step is to do your homework. Begin by asking your librarian to help you research your chosen field. Look up books, magazines and newspaper articles. Talk to other people who have done what you’d like to do. Join an industry organization and a network. Subscribe to industry publications. According to Mrs. Partow, the third step is to marshal as much support as you can. Get your children, your spouse, and friends on your side. Setting up a small business can be stressful, and you’ll need as much encouragement as you can get. If you’ve been torn between family and finances, having a home-based business may turn out to be the best of both worlds. Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995(www.family.org). Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2008 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate. John MacIntyre 51: Percentage of buying power lost by seniors since the beginning of the decade, according to a study released by The Senior Citizens League. 24: Since 2000, percentage increase in the Social Security Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) benefits. $1,013.50: Monthly amount received by a senior with the average Social Security benefit in 2008. 33: Percentage of benefi- ciaries who rely on it for 90 percent or more of their total income. Source: The Senior Citizens League. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5: Ranks of Miami, Boston, New York, Baltimore and Washington, D.C., as the least courteous cities with the worst road rage, according to the third annual “In the Driver’s Seat Road Rage Survey,” commissioned by AutoVantage. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5: Ranks of Pittsburgh, Portland, Ore., Seattle, Minneapolis and Cleveland as the most courteous cities with the least road rage. 3: Number of consecutive years that Miami has taken the crown as road rage capital of America. Source: AutoVantage. 77: Percentage of Ameri- cans who say the top scenario that would most negatively impact their financial future is having their savings stolen because of fraud/theft, according to a survey from ING and conducted by Ipsos Public Affairs. 67: Percentage who say the second scenario that would most negatively impact their family’s financial future is their death or the death of their spouse or partner. Source: Ipsos Public Affairs. 87: Percentage of high school seniors who expect to have at least one internship during their college career, emphasizing a strong work ethic among this group, according to a Monster. com survey of graduating students. 81: Percentage of surveyed students who plan to attend an in-state school. Source: Monster.com. 92.4: Percentage of U.S. corporate executives who say they see evidence of a recession in their life, according to a survey conducted by Gray Hair Management. 24.6: Percentage of Ameri- can executives who say the primary recession evidence they see is that their investment and savings portfolios have taken a big hit. 21.2: Percentage who say the primary evidence is the rise in gas and food prices. Source: Gray Hair Management. 1, 2, 3: Ranks of Florida (62 percent), California (56 percent) and New York (51 percent) on the list of the most-visited states, according to Greyhound’s “Hit the Road” survey. 13: Percentage of Ameri- cans who have been to Alaska, the least visited state in the country. Source: Kelton Research. $31: Average amount that Americans spend each year on cut flowers, according to the Flower Council of Holland. $112: Average amount spent each year by the Swiss. 75: Whereas countries such as Switzerland, Norway and the Netherlands use flowers as decorations throughout their homes, percentage of flowers sold in America that are gifts, according to a Rabobank report. Source: Rabobank Food and Agribusiness Research. 47: Percentage of Americans who say that celebrity involvement in political campaigns is a bad thing, according to the results of a nationwide Harris poll. 29: Percentage who say it is a good thing. Source: Harris Interactive. 42 million: Estimated number of teeth that are saved each year by the root canal procedure, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. $93 billion: Estimated annual cost for dental services. Source: U.S. Census Bureau. Idle Thought See Page B8 for Puzzle Answers. “Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.” -- Oscar Wilde Copyright 2008 John MacIntyre Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate. |
