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Show The Garfield County Insider Page 6 tHe lAuGhiNg pOiNt!! HELP WANTED Team Coach: Duties include working directly with students 13 – 17 years old. Must be a positive role model, interacting with students during evening and weekend recreational activities. All shifts available. Qualifications: Must be 21 years old, have a high school diploma, current driver’s license and able to pass a background check. Wage DOE. Interested individuals may send cover letter and resume to Lee Ann Fielding at 435-676-8482 or fax 435-676-8488 lfielding@silveradoboysranch.com RENTALS 2 bedroom apt for rent new laminated wood floors, utilities paid, plus cable and high speed internet $410 mo. First and last month. Upstairs over Hale Art gallery in Panguitch. 801 885 2870 FOR RENT: Shop space or storage. 3200 SF. All or part. Panguitch. 676 2840; 2544 Psychiatrist needed: Part-time (1-2 days per month) consulting to provide medication management and consultation at a Therapeutic Boarding School in southern Utah. Prior experience with an adolescent population preferred. Please send CV or resume care of: LeeAnn Fielding, Silverado Boys Ranch, P.O. Box 919, Panguitch, UT 84759 or e-mail directly to lfielding@ silveradoboysranch.com MARKETING DIRECTOR South Central Communications has an immediate opening for a director of sales/ marketing/business development who will create, implement and oversee the company’s marketing plan. Will manage and develop business plans, implement sales of telecommunications products and services, and supervise sales and marketing staff to accomplish company objectives. Bachelor’s degree in marketing with 5 years of work experience requred. Applications accepted until 04/17/09. For full job description or to email resumes contact us at hr@socen.com A Letter from the Boss: To All My Valued Employees, There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn’t pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job, however, is the changing political landscape in this country. Here aresome facts which might help you decide what is in your best interests. First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a Back Story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You’ve seen my big home at last year’s Christmas party. I’m sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life. However, what you don’t see is the BACK STORY : I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire studio apartment was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you. My diet consisted of Ramon Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn’t have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice. Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50 K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstrom’s for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the discount stores for clothing that didn’t look like it was birthed in the 70’s. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, would be able to afford the luxuries my friends supposedly had. So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9 am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5 PM, I don’t. There is no “off” button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and have a weekend all to yourself. I do not have that freedom. I eat and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a one-year-old specialneeds child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that labor -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations... you never realize the Back Story and the sacrifices I’ve made. Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn’t. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for. Yes, business ownership has it’s benefit but the price I’ve paid is steep and not without wounds. Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit. Let me tell you why: I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don’t pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and Use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers Compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my “stimulus” check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch. The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country. The fact is, if I deducted April 23, 2009 (read: stole) 50% of your paycheck you’d quit and wouldn’t work here. And why should you? That’s nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy. Here is what many of you don’t understand: To stimulate the economy, you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had government suddenly mandated that I didn’t need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington blackhole, I would have spent it hiring more employees and generating substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now. When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don’t defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will brings him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of “change” you can keep. So where am I going with all this? It’s quite simple. If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child’s future. Frankly, it isn’t my problem any more. Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire. You see, I’m done. I’m done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it will be my citizenship. So, if you lose your job, it won’t be at the hands of the economy. It will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steam-rolled the Constitution, and changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired with no employees to worry about. Signed, THE BOSS* Modern Translation My six-year-old grandson was playing one of his video games while I worked in the kitchen near him. He asked,”Grandma, what does ‘veni, vidi, vici’ mean?” I answered,”It means ‘I came, I saw, I conquered.’ Why do you ask?” He said,”It’s here on my game.” A short while later I heard him say, “Been there, done that ... What was the third one, Grandma?” No Excuse Sunday To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday”. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say “Sunday is my only day to sleep in”. We will have steel helmets for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot. We will have hearing aids for those who say “The Priest talks too softly”, and cotton for those who say he preaches too loudly. Score cards will be provided for those who wish to list hypocrites present. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sundays. There will be TV dinners for those who can’t go to Church and cook dinner also. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to see God in Nature. Finally the Sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas pointsettias and Easter Lillies for those who have never seen the church without them. Little League Parents At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded in the affirmative. “Do you understand that what matters is that we play together as a team?” The little boy nodded yes. “So,” the coach continued, “when a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?” Again the little boy nodded. “Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain it to your parents.” Little Hardware Problem, Big Hardware Solution This IT technician works as a contractor at a Defense Department facility, where the data-security requirements are stringent. “We occasionally have to destroy BlackBerries that are too old to be reused,” he says. “But there isn’t a very good wiping process for these things -- at least as far as the DoD is concerned with their precious secrets.” So standard operating procedure is to disassemble each decommissioned BlackBerry and break the important components individually. That’s what the tech expects to do when a user drops off an old device for disposal. But when he tries to crack the case, he finds that the tiny screw heads are stripped. Fortunately, a road crew is tearing up the pavement outside the office, and he has a good rapport with construction guys. “Can I get you to crush this? Thanks!” Crunch! Result: BlackBerry unit destroyed. Approved destruction method: Backhoe shovel head plus pavement. No extra charge for embedding gravel into the unit. “I degaussed it too, just to be safe,” says the tech. “Then I brought it to my boss and told him that his refurbished BlackBerry was just delivered.” It Makes Sense...By Veda Hale Potato salad---Did you ever wonder why you offered to bring a potato salad to the party? You probably forgot about all that pealing of potatoes and eggs. Well, our friend, Harriet, from Escalante sent a good hint. Boil water before you add the potatoes. Score the potato with a knife around its circumference a couple of times. Put in boiling water. Boil about 15 minutes. Get a pan of ice water. Take one potato at a time out of the boiling water. Put it in the ice water for roughly 10 seconds or until cool enough to handle. Take out and the skin comes right off in your hand. For the eggs, boil them and put them in the refrigerator the night before. Harriet says they peal very easy then. Try it. And then remember sweet pickle juice extends the mayonnaise or salad dressing and tastes very good. My mother used to always sprinkle with Pa- results of puzzle from APRIL 16th prika, which looks festive. However, if you have a colorblind man in the family, he might need to be told that it isn’t pepper and he doesn’t have to scrape it off. Mother found that out the hard way, as my father is colorblind and finally got brave and complained. Send suggestions to Veda Hale, Box 956, Panguitch, Utah 84759 or email vedahale@hotmail.com |