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Show LIFE B9 YH DI S NE EROINES AWFUL TO AWESOME Cannonized Cinema By KELLY CANNON Life Editor Like most girls raised in main-stream America, Disney heroines played a huge part in my childhood. I loved watching Disney animated movies growing up, especially when they had a princess or some chick as the leading lady. As I've gotten older and grown into a full fledge feminist who happens to be a Cinema Studies minor, I look back at these Disney heroines who served as role models for what it means to be a woman and, frankly, it's a miracle I turned out as relatively well-adjusted as I am. There are a lot of Disney heroines out there who are just terrible, terrible role models for young, impressionable girls. Nearly all of them played up the ditzy dumb damsel in distress, while hardly any of them had a bit of sense in their heads. Granted, Disney heroines have improved & become more tough over the last decade or so but the original princesses (because they were nearly always princesses) were/ are pretty much worthless. Which Disney Heroines are positive role models and SNOW WHITE PRINCESS AURORA ARIEL 1937 1959 in "Snow White" Of course the very first full-length animated movie has to have the absolute worst female heroine of all time. She can't even really be called a heroine because she's the most wimpy, pathetic, whiny woman ever. Don't believe me? Go back and watch the scene where she gets lost in the woods and the trees suddenly look terrifying. All she does is scream, "Oh! Oh!" mixed in with a few legitimate screams. Geez, what a little wimp. She then comes across a house and what does she do? She goes inside. What the what? First of all, I'm sure that's a form of breaking and entering. Second, she just found out her stepmother is trying to kill her, the forest just transformed into scary trees on acid and she thinks going into a stranger's house is a good idea? For that, I wish a serial killer lived there and taught her a valuable lesson. However not only does she go into the house, she freaking cleans the house! Oh, yeah. That's totally normal. She then spends the rest of the film cooking, cleaning and generally fulfilling the female gender stereotype. Then she's stupid enough to eat an apple given to her by a complete freaky old woman (who doesn't look sketchy at all). She has no sense whatsoever. She doesn't seem to comprehend that her life is in danger. She naively trusts even the sketchiest looking villain ever. She then falls asleep waiting for her prince to come. It's obvious that the writers/ animators have never heard of women's liberation, but that can be semi-forgiven. It doesn't really come about for another 30-40 years or so. But still, Snow White sucks. in "Sleeping Beauty" Princess Aurora is generally a pathetic character. She falls head over heels in love with the first man she meets (when she's 16 years old for goodness sake) and when she needs to leave & he asks when he'll see her again, she cries in a high(ish) voice, "Oh, never! Never!" And he replies with, "Never?" And she replies, "Well, maybe someday" by which she means tomorrow. Seriously, this prince, who is probably closer to 30 years old is hitting on some 16 year old & basically manipulating her into loving him. But apparently in 1959, that's totally cool. Not to mention, she spends nearly a third of the movie asleep, waiting for her prince to save her, thereby solidifying the 16 year old fantasy that she's in love. If little girls were to follow her example, we'd see a lot more episodes of "16 & Pregnant." CINDERELLA 9 "Cind6ell0 Talk about a broad with no backbone. She is forced to cook and clean for her stepmother and stepsisters because they said so. I never see them threaten her with physical violence or taking away her food. She just does it because she is so "kind" that they walk all over her. I mean, even the cat pushes her around. The freaking cat! I have nothing against being kind to others but not when they are taking deliberate advantage of you. That makes you a sucker. She talks about escaping and living her dreams etc. but never actually does anything about it. She's like that one person who always talks about getting out of their hometown but ends up being the assistant manager at Staples in their 40s. Not to mention, her best friends are mice. That's kind a weird, don't you think? in "The Little Mermaid" 1989 Ariel is a pretty cool chick. I mean, she's pretty tough, she saves Prince Eric from drowning, she's insatiably curious, and she's a daddy's girl. These are all good qualities in my book. However, she's still a freaking annoying 16 year old who thinks she knows more than her dad, who, by the way, is the freaking king of the ocean. I think he knows a thing or two about life, Ariel. What really pisses me off is her line, "I'm 16 years old! I'm not a child!" Actually, Ariel, by most definitions you are. 666 JASMINE in "Aladdin" 1992 Here's the main reason Jasmine pisses me off. I hate the whole "Oh, I'm royalty. I have no real freedom. My life is so hard," plot line. I'm sorry, but I just can't get myself to believe that royalty with tons of money and the freedom to do pretty much whatever they want have a hard life. I mean, yeah, being told where to go & how to dress is rough but not as rough as stealing food to survive! Here's another reason I hate Jasmine. She's all hardcore by using a pole to vault herself across buildings. But then get Jafar involved and suddenly she's powerless to help herself. Except, of course, by seducing him to distract him as Aladdin comes to her aid. There's a nice message for young girls. If you're ever in trouble, sleep your way out of it. POCAHONTAS in "Pocahontas" which are harming young women? Here is my ranking: I should mention the criteria of this list. I've only included human characters. Yes, Miss Bianca from "The Rescuers" is pretty cool and Maid Marion from "Robin Hood" acts like human, despite being a lynx or something but in order to be on this list, you've got to be human. I haven't included all of the possible heroines due to print space restraints. However, for the full article, visit uvureview.com JANE ", ESMERELDA in Tarzan" "Hunchback of Notre Dame" 1996 9 Okay, Pocahontas is pretty legit. I mean, she does stop her father from declaring war on the invading white men, a war that they obviously would've been slaughtered in. But the real reason she stopped the war was so she could save John Smith's life because she 'loves him.' I don't care how you slice it, honey. You've kind of turned your back on your own people. Not to mention, when there is dangerous stuff going on she totally ignores the warnings and goes out alone because nothing bad ever happens to gorgeous women alone in the forest that was recently invaded by a troop of men who have spent the last X-amount of months alone on a ship with no women. It's a miracle you ran into John Smith, a guy who seems to be more motivated by exploration than raping. MEGARA in "Hercules" Megara, or Meg, is a sassy, quick-talking independent chick. She totally plays up the whole 'damsel in distress' bit with the irony it deserves. When the Minotaur is holding her captive, Hercules asks her if she's a damsel in distress. Her reply is, "I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle it." Her lines are usually delivered rapid fire and are fairly funny. Her main flaw is she uses her feminine wiles to manipulate our poor Hercules. However, you find out the only reason she's Hades's slave is she sold her soul to save the life of her love (who then ran off with some `babe') thereby showing she has a good heart, even if it's turned her cynical when we meet her. And she does come through in the end, sacrificing herself to save Hercules. Jane is legit. She's a Victorian era lady who travels all the way to Africa to study gorillas. For a woman at that period of time to travel to the middle of nowhere to pursue a scientific discovery is phenomenal. She serves as the example of the liberated woman. She's educated, clever, brave, adventurous, and has a good heart. She stands up to Clayton, a man who could snap her in half. She's also pretty funny too. I like that in a role model. C) BELLE Esmerelda is pretty hardcore. She's aggressive when it comes to defending herself and her people, but also kind and tender when it comes to helping Quasimodo. She fights Phoebus with a tall candle stick (while he has a sword), she stops the crowd from tormenting Quasimodo and when she's tied up to be burned at the stake and Frollo offers to save her if she becomes his sex slave, she freaking spits in his face. This chick is pretty much awesome. She's selfless, strong, and clever, making her the ideal role model for young girls. in "Beauty and the Beast" 1991 Personally my favorite princess/heroine, Belle is smart, well read, and brave. Saving and protecting her father motivates everything she does. The Beast does not intimidate her and, as time goes on, she learns to even care for him. She is smart enough not to fall all over the arrogant Gaston, realizing he's pretty much the biggest jerk ever. When he accuses her of having feelings for the monster (meaning the beast), she bravely retorts, "He's no monster, Gaston. You are!" That takes some guts. She has a sense of adventure that cannot be beat, wanting to get out of her boring town and live the life she's only read about in books. Which brings up the main fact Belle is so cool: The girl loves books. The present the Beast gives her is a giant library and she's ecstatic. Never trust a girl who doesn't love books. C ) KEY C3C333C3 AWFUL --- c) MEN in1;6 1 8 Mulan is the most awesome Disney heroine for one main reason. In order to save her father from having to serve in the army, she cuts her hair, pretends to be a boy, and goes to freaking war. And back then war was some rough stuff. Not that it isn't now, mind you, but back then it was mostly hand to hand combat with horrific effects. This chick loves her father so much that she's willing to endure all of that and possibly dies in order to save him. Then, on top of all that, she saves all of freaking China from the Huns! She does something despite the disadvantage society has given her as a woman. It's her smart thinking and bravery that ends up saving the Emperor and the rest of the people. She's definitely the heroine girls should want to grow up to be. OR /11// AWESOME |