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Show AggieLife Wednesday, Feb. 3, 2010 Page 7 Read this before Crime: Fighting the crime, one stop at a time doing anything else I continued from page 5 A s you may know, this week is officially Doppelganger Week on Facebook. Apparently this is another viral Internet trend, when people post, as their profile picture, their celebrity look-alike. And for all you lads and lasses out there that don't habla German, let me define it for you: doppelganger, noun - a ghostly double or counterpart of a living person. With that information, I would like to reveal my doppelganger: drumroll please ... Thom Yorke, the lead singer of Radiohead. And what's even better about that, is that he's truly ghostly. Not only does he look strikingly similar to me, but I'm not sure whether he's alive. Unconfirmed theories have been floating around that he's a cyborg, what with that droopy eye of his. Apparently, he can see into the future with it. And he can cook even the most delicate of meats with his bare, cybernetic hands. It's true, I swear it. And you heard it here first, folks. Anyways, what I'd like to explore more fully is the nature of this Doppelganger Week. Why is it happening? What does it tell us about our society as a whole? And most importantly, how do I, James Rasmussen, feel about the whole thing? I am, as it turns out, a columnist for a university newspaper. My opinion is heard, guys. It matters. Big time. With this in mind, and drawing on my inexhaustible knowledge of cognitive, behavioral and social psychology, aka my roommate Stu, I was able to sketch some theories. One such theory is that this activity could stem from the innate tendency we have as human beings, to try and associate ourselves with something larger than our current status or social paradigm, such as joining a club, team or maybe a porcelain kitten collection guild. It makes us feel like we are stronger, or better than we actually are, as if the mere association with a figure of fame and fortune will enhance our own abilities. Take my friend, for example. He put a shirtless picture of Brad Pitt as his doppelganger, in all his chiseled, Herculean glory. Maybe he is trying to tell the world that, Hey, I have six-pack abs, perfectly sculpted facial features and shave my entire body. Maybe. Probably, huh, Mike? So that may be why this is happening. People are just trying to let everyone know about what they're really like inside. Some girl I know posted a fish as her doppelganger. Does she secretly have gills? Obviously. There's no other explanation. What's equally fascinating is the number of hits that Google has been getting for the phrase, "What celebrity do I look like?" It's astounding. And there are tools and apps on the Internet that analyze your face and tell you who you look like. One such tool is the face recognition app on myheritage.com . And it's completely accurate. I scanned in my 21-year-old little brother's face, and the app said he looked 67 percent like Saddam Hussein. So what does that tell me? It tells me that he has a stockpile of chemical weapons in his apartment. But not really, as it turns out. But we're going to destroy his apartment anyways and "take care" of him, too. Then, his roommates will get really pissed off and endeavor with all their might to hinder the effort of rebuilding the apartment and replacing their landlord. That's just how it's going to go down. So if you've already put your doppelganger on Facebook, or if you're still thinking who you look like, remember this: whoever you put up there will be a window into your very soul. People will know everything about your deepest, darkest, most penetrating and revealing secrets. Like the time you crapped your pants while riding the Heber Creeper Railroad and tried to cover it up by rolling down all the windows in your car on the ride home, telling everyone inside, "It's my favorite game. I love rolling down the windows in Winter." Yeah right. You just set up shop in your pants and are trying to cover that up. Caught ya. , Questions or comments can be sent to James Rasmussen at jamesrasmus@googlemail.com . look from his vehicle. Barnes and Anderson face forward while approaching the "There are certain areas we get down and check all night," stopped car and do not turn around. Anderson speaks with the Barnes says. "We try to keep it as random as possible." driver and issues a fix-it ticket. Barnes stays behind the car and, Driving back along the road, we stop and the officers approach with his hand, removes the snow that has accumulated on its back the parked vehicle. A young adult couple inside are watching a windshield. Inside the squad car are a number of instruments and movie on a laptop computer and seem quite surprised at their tools, from traffic cones to fire blankets, and one beefy gun mountsudden visitors. Following protocol, Anderson asks for the driver's ed behind the backseat. An inscription on one of the officer's ticket license and registration to check for any outstanding warrants. pad lists the six fundamentals of law enforcement: philosophy of "It's nothing major. You're just not supposed to be parked here community, interpersonal skills, interrogation skills, writing skills, at night." Barnes says. "I've had some when they've been ... yeah. technical skills and initiative. You've got to be tactful." The two officers return to their car, walking With everything in order, the young couple backwards, never taking their eyes off the driver are told to leave the area and we go on our way, until he has pulled away. "We were off leaving First Dam and passing campus on 400 "Slap me five," Anderson says, "that's my first chasing these North. First Dam and Logan Canyon are techticket." guys, guns loaded nically out of the USUPD's jurisdiction, but Barnes explains that they usually assist Logan 10:53 and choppers City Police in patrolling those areas, due to flying. The next their proximity to campus. Minutes after the fix-it citation a call comes over night ... nothing, the radio for assistance at the gas station at 1200 it was dead." 10:22 East and 1400 North. A university student has locked herself out of her car. We take a quick run through campus, from "We do a lot of lockouts," Barnes says. Steve Milne, USU the business building to the turnaround near The student is waiting near her car, anxious Police captain Old Main. It's still fairly early, but Barnes says and visibly embarrassed. Barnes gives Anderson that later he'll do some foot patrol through the honor of opening the door. campus and around the buildings. "Give me the big pink tool," Anderson calls out. "A couple of hours a night we're supposed to get out of the The big pink tool is actually a rubber-coated wire about 4 feet vehicle," Barnes said. long. Anderson places a wedge into the door seal to create an openOne thing that was strange for Barnes in the transition from ing, inserts the big pink tool and hits the automatic locks to open county work to USU was getting used to people being out and the car. about late at night. Driving around in the unincorporated areas of Without other business to attend to, we continue on our way the valley and seeing a pedestrian at 3 in the morning, Barnes said through campus, passing through Aggie Village, where the only he would almost always stop to talk with the individual. At USU, activity is a number of stray cats returning to "The Aggie Cat where there is no defined curfew and the campus is open, people Clubhouse," as Barnes calls it. will sleep on the Quad or simply stroll and as long as they're not "There's cats all over the place here," Barnes says. causing problems or underage, there's no reason for action. We drive around the cemetery and down through campus on Barnes suggests finding a place to stop and watch for speed700 North. Already, inches of snow have stuck on the ground, and ers and grabs a remote from the center console. He jokes that Barnes says it's the graveyard worker's responsibility is to call USU even though Anderson is driving, he still gets to hold the remote. Facilities about snow and ice for removal. At this point Anderson Anderson laughs, and Barnes asks her about her husband and who says she has a better feel for where she's going and turns down on gets to hold the remote at home. 800 East toward the stadium. "(My husband) wears the pants, but I have a gun," Anderson "It's really hard to learn this in the dark," Barnes says. says. "Gun trumps pants." Anderson says that in the long run she wants to do more traffic We make our way to 1200 East, the road that runs from the Fine patrol and that she's learning from one of the best. Arts Building past Aggie Village. Barnes says there is a lot of speed"Barnes is the traffic guru," Anderson says. ing on this road, but as the snow falls heavier, cars seem to be in no hurry on the road. The road was once posted as a 35-mph zone, 11:27 dropped to 25 about five months ago, and Barnes says he tries to educate drivers about the new speed limit when he pulls them over. "You usually become your best friend on graveyard shifts," "I cite about one in five speeders," Barnes says. Barnes says. Normally Barnes will spend the night, from 10 to 6, alone on 10:37 patrol and at least for this hour he doesn't seem to mind the cornpany. We head back to the station. Anderson is late for a shift at After passing through the area of the Space Dynamics Lab, we the jail and the snow is only getting heavier, killing any chance of pass a car with a broken headlight. Barnes tells Anderson to pull an action-packed night. him over, and we go through my closest experience to a high-speed A call comes over the radio about a noisy party on 200 East, but chase. After turning around we hurry to catch up, only to have two it doesn't sound big enough to require going so far out of USUPD cars between us and the car in question. Coming to the four-way jurisdiction. When necessary, Barnes explains, the different law stop at 1200 East and 1400 North the car turns left, giving us the enforcement offices are quick to lend one another a helping hand. opening we need. The lights go on and seconds later we're parked "We try to take care of each other," Barnes says. at the side of the road. Arriving back at the station we all go our separate ways: Even in these routine stops, the officers' concern for safety is Anderson to her post at the jail, me to my computer and Barnes apparent. Before exiting the squad car, Barnes tells Anderson to back into the snowy night for the bulk of his shift of watching over leave her gun hand empty and to look up at the driver after saying USU. every other word while writing the citation. - b.c.wood@aggiemail.usu.edu "I am responsible for her," Barnes says. — Street Speak If your house caught on fire and you had 60 seconds to grab something, what would it be and why? "A fleece blanket my mom made for me, so that I can stay warm outside while I watch my house burn down." -Jeff Schweppe, sophomore, biology "A sandwich, because it will give me something to eat while I wait for the firemen." - Bill Sproat, junior, premed "My retro denim shirt my mom gave me, because it looks so damn good." - Spencer W Knight, junior, biology "I would grab my wallet and phone. My phone so that I can call everyone for help and my wallet so I still have some money. Today only, ring designer, Julian Goldstein will have hundreds of beaultiful engagement rings on display at S.E. Needham Jewelers. If you are getting engaged this is a selection you won't want to miss. " - Erika Taualai Yoshio Gautavai, senior, exercise science Store Hours: Monday - Saturday 10-00 - /-00 photos and information gathered by Jenny Miller Where ma, Gets Nemec.' 141 North Alain * 752-7149 www,seneedham.COM |