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Show On history's cutting edge I was surprised to learn that there are people in an interest in this topic dating back to 1964, when Miami who practice sword-fighting. I never thought my friend Lanny Watts talked me into joining the of Miami as a sword kind of town. Down here, we Pleasantville High School fencing club. This was a like to brandish our weapons at other motorists serious competitive club, but Lanny and I frankly from inside our cars, which would be risky with a did not have the correct attitude, a fact that became clear when it came time to form into pairs and pracsword: FIRST MOTORIST (honking): Watch where you're tice a basic fencing technique. Lanny was paired against one of the veteran club members, who had going! SECOND MOTORIST: Oh YEAH? (He brandishes assumed his fighting stance, holding his fencing sword in the ready position; suddenly Lanny ran his sword.) from the room, only to return a moment FIRST MOTORIST (fleeing): Yikes! later holding: a trombone. Even though SECOND MOTORIST: I showed him! (To I was lying on the floor and trying not his children in the back seat:) Kids, could Dave Barry to wet my pants, I still have a vivid you look on the floor and see if you can find motion picture in my mind of the scene Daddy's ear? that followed: Lanny charging forward, But it turns out that Miami does have blowing into the trombone and thrusting practicing sword-fighters. They belong boldly with the sliding part, as his oppoto the Renaissance Historical Society of nent retreated in confusion and-yes-fear. Florida, a group of people who wear cosLanny and I were immediately kicked tumes and pretend they're living during the out of the fencing club. But I think they Renaissance. The Renaissance-as you recall knew who won. from not spelling it correctly one single Barry's time in your entire academic career-was Anyway, my main question about World the historical period that started in the 15th sword-fighting technique is this: How Century at approximately 3:30 p.m. when come, when you see a sword fight in the humanity, after centuries of being cooped up in the movies, where two guys are doing everything they Dark Ages, finally stumbled out into the light and can to kill each other, and one of them finally gets got a whiff of its own armpits and said, "Whoa! Time the upper hand and has his sword point pressed to invent cologne!" This was followed by tremen- against his enemy's neck, instead of killing himdous advances in science, philosophy, literature and which he has been trying hard to do for 10 minutespaintings of naked women. HE MAKES A SPEECH, usually involving the word On a recent Sunday afternoon, I watched "varlet"? Because while he's yakking, the other guy members of the Renaissance Historical Society ALWAYS gets away. rehearse for a public performance at an upcoming I asked Zollo and Mathews why movie swordRenaissance festival. They were leaping around, fighters did this, and they answered, "Theatrics." swinging large, realistic swords at each other and They also said they rarely kill people in their perforyelling Renaissance insults such as-this is an actual mances. -insult they yelled-"You snotmuffin!" "We try to show respect for life," said Mathews. When they were done, I talked to two of the "Plus," said Zollo, "it's a pain in the butt to carry organizers, Roger Zollo and Kyle Mathews, about the bodies away." the Renaissance movement, which involves groups Thus we see that the Renaissance movement and festivals all over the country. represents positive historic values. This is heartening "We try to be as period as possible," said Zollo. because many of its members, at least in the group "Although we do bathe," noted Mathews. I saw, are young people. So the next time you find "Right," agreed Zollo. "We don't want to smell yourself thinking that today's youth are nothing but mindless, giant-pant-wearing, tattoo-getting, MTVRenaissance." The re-enacters wear authentic costumes, which clone snotmuffins whose definition of "ancient" means the men wear tights. (And before I hear any is "before Ginger left the Spice Girls," remember snickering from you guys out there who think men that there ARE young people who are interested in look silly in tights, I have two words for you: "golf preserving, and promoting, a vital part of humanity's pants.") The Renaissance men also wear codpieces, cultural heritage. And while you're remembering which are pieces of cloth that cover up a man's, that, bear in mind that "Varlet and the Squeaking urn, codpiece area. Zolfo and Mathews told me that Codpieces" would be an excellent name for a roctc some guys make their own codpieces and personal- band. ize them: One guy made a fuzzy red codpiece that squeaked if you squeezed it. (My feeling about that This is a classic Dave Barry column, that was first is; If you have a squeaking codpiece, you had better published on March 7, 1999. have a really big sword.) The Renaissance people also spend a lot of time (c) 2006, The Miami Herald learning authentic sword-fighting techniques. I have A DIFFERENT VIEW: TELEVISION' " Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some." - Alfred Hitchcock This Week's Challenge: If you can precisely identify the campus oddity shown above, bring your entry to TSC Room 105, with your name and e-mail address before Wednesday at 4 p.m. Duplicate correct answers will be drawn at random and announced in this space next Friday. NO WINNER LAST WEEK: We're still rooting for you, though. This photo hunt is tough, but you're tougher. You've got determination, tenacity, true grit and-... a little help.. HINT OF THE WEEK (A LITTLE HELP): Take a look, it's in a book ... or at least near some. We're not in the business of helping you out too much, but we understand the hunt is harder with so many other things on your mind. "The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news, we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were." - David Brinkley My Quess: "Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television." . - Carol O'Conner My E-Mail: My name: |