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Show Tire Utah Statesman Predictable eccentricity dumbs down 'Doogal' Where do I begin with this one? I think the only way people will see this film is if a strong 5-year-old drags them to the theater. From creator Serge Danot, this animated film takes us into a fictional fantasy world where everything is bizarre. Bizarre is usually a good thing. Bizarre ^ _ _ ^ brings something different. Sadly, in ^^mm^^~ this case bizarre is too much of a good thing. Way too much. In this weird fantasy world, there is this dog named Doogal and he's best friends with a little girl named Florence. Doogal looks like a frizzy Bassett hound and serves as the main character to warm people's hearts; \ "Ooogai" although Doogal often let's his selfish- ! RatedPG, ness get the best of him. ~ — Florence is riding the magical carousel one day and Doogal causes a candy truck to crash into the carousel. This accident sets of an explosion which stops the carousel and unleashes an evil warlord from within it. The warlord's name is Zeebad and he vows to rule the world by freezing the sun, covering the land in eternal winter. Sixty seconds later, Doogal sets off on a perilous journey with his animal friends to stop Zeebad from ruling the earth and to save Florence from freezing to death inside the carousel. (She becomes trapped once the carousel is encased in ice). Doogal's group of traveling companions include a laid-back rabbit named Dylan, the sassy cow, Ermintrude, and a nerdy snail named Brian. If this storyline sounds odd please keep in mind that this is the tip of the iceberg. Being a meager 85 minutes long, and using every trite punch line imaginable, this film gets disappointing and borCasey T. Allen ing very fast. And it gets annoying even faster. It's clear to see that the animated characters were created with the intent to touch your heart. Your heart, however, will only flinch with irritation because all the characters are so painfully two-dimensional. Grade D"Doogal" is somewhat of a _ -> remade j n that it was originally a recent British film callea "The Magic Roundabout" and featured the voice talents of various British stars including Jim Broadbent, Joanna Lumley, and Robbie Williams. "Doogal" is the same film, it has just been re-recorded with the voices of American actors whom we might recognize more easily. These actors include Jimmy Fallon, Whoopi Goldberg, Jon Stewart, and Chevy Chase. Although these stars are all comedic geniuses in their own right, everyone fizzles for the simple fact that the story provides no emotion or believable development. Co-directed by David Borthwick and Jean Duval, THE NATIONAL BUZZ jf; "The onJy positive thing that might come out of DoogaJ is the litany of self-deprecating jokes [Jon] Stewart will undoubtedly tell when he hosts the Oscars." «v> Tj - S e a n M e a n s , Salt L a k e T r i b u n e •-. - - ~ i - , /.;••••: Reel Reviews "PREEMPTIVE 'Chappelle's Block Party' Remember how many friends you had in high school because your parents owned a cabin by the lake? You probably had some pretty killer parties, brosef. Maybe you had some beer and some girls and maybe you even hooked up. Now imagine the kind of parties you could throw if people actually liked you - I mean, really liked you - not just because you have a pool and your sister looks good in a swimsuit You'd have "Dave Chappelle's Block Party." ChappeNe invites a handful of people from across America to participate in one of the biggest block parties in history. With Chappelle's charismatic presence being projected on the big screen, the movie will give fans of Chappelle's Comedy Central show the humor fix they've been craving since last season. And with performances by Kanye West, Mos Def, the Fugees, Dead Prez and the Roots highlighting the event, ifs sure to be a good time. Or you could watch "Nanny McPhee." Again. I preemptively love this film. Not "Nanny McPhee/' I love "Block Party." -by Aaron Falk/acf@cc.u$u.edu Ultraviolet' Just when I think Hollywood personally hates me, a movie like this cornes around. Ifs almost as if some one figured out everything that drags me into a movie and brought it all into one film. Of course how hard is it to say, "Hey, lefs get that hot chick from 'Fifth Element' and have her kick the crap out of a endless stream of easily breakable soldiers?" But Ultraviolet takes it beyond this. It takes place in the future, which is way cooler than the present because the technology is better and society has almost completely destroyed itself, so there's less waiting. And yet some how, despite the massive increase _in innovation, most fighting will be done with swords and fung-fu kicks. The film has has some fights scenes so out there, it would make the Wachowski brothers cringe. I'm pretty sure 1 won't have to deal with too much boring dialogue. Talking is stupid and in no •way does it solve problems, especially if you're a super-soldier. But just when you think this movie can't get any better, somehow her sword catches fire. Some people may complain that there's no way a girl in a belly sjiirt can kill 700 soldiers, but they're forgetting the basic premise of the movie: 5he's not just Violet, she's Ultraviolet, 1 preemptively love this movie. -by Steve Shiriney/steveshinney@cc. usu.edu ' . > ' • • • "[A] surprisingly successful feature-film update." -Ken Fox,TV Guide's Movie Guide "':..''."v•;'y r •' -A v •• ' - .f- Compiledfromrottentomatoes.com. this film has the attention span of a rebellious toddler. Therefore, it seems only fitting that toddlers should watch it. (And they are probably the only audience members who would enjoy it.) Full of corny jokes and billions of pop culture cliches, it exhibits little creativity and bothersome sound editing (at times you hear voices speaking but see no mouths moving). There are bright colors and a smooth design but nothing you will remember the next day. Out of the ordinary? Yes. Original? No. Casey T. Allen is a critic for the Utah Statesman. Comments can be sent to caseyal@cc.usu.edu. 'Aquamarine' In yet another movie marketed solely to teen-aged girls, AquaMarine goes to new heights to prove that an ultra-cheesy plot can still get funding. Two best friends find out that one of them is going to move. They" plead with her mother to l e t them stay together, but like ASUSU to the Statesman, her mom says simply, "I don't care if it doesn't make any sense, you're still moving." But, thank Hollywood heaven, a miracle literally washes onto shore in the form of a mermaid named Aquamarine. She falls in love with a lifeguard and agrees to grant the girls one wish if they help her win him over. Apparently, mermaids have magical powers like that. So this movie is basically a horrible mix o f "Aladdin/' "Encino Man," "Clueless" and "The Incredible Mr. Limpet" (rest in peace, Don Knotts). In the middle of all this is an absurd amount of cheesy one-liners like "There's something very fishy about that girl," and the mermaid's "shell pnone." O h , and let's not forget that timeless classic, "You're not like most girls/' > For the simple reason that I could feel myself losing \Q points just watching the trailer, I preemptively hate this movie. -by Bryan Hinton/bhinton@cc.usu.edu THE PREEMPTIVE CRITICS WRITE KNEE-JERK ANALYSES OF tJPCOMING FILMS BASED ON HEARSAY AND MOVIE TRAILERS. THEY HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIES. |