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Show The Funny Page A collection of student-producea & syndicatedTomics. >le VieKiiow/RayJohnsdn kq@ccusu.edu HE'S PET "Same thing every time I come in here ... they try to get me to wear a tie, and I have to remind them that I'm a woman." Iver the Hedge/M f/y WHILE CLARA SLEEPS, RJ, VERNE AND HAMMY PROTECT HER PROW HOHSTERS... SO. THEY LIVE erts BRICKMAKINS ACADEMY WHAT? I'M JUST BEING POLITE. , ™PK|JTJ UNDER THE BED? IT'S AWFULLY DUSTY UNDER THERE. ,: SLREMY SUFFER R*0rt ALLERGIES. M/TW //ear** Can be YES YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO MAKE BRICKS OVER THE NEXT S\X YEARS, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU WILL LEARN HOW T O BE THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE. '-u Some really funny gags, from Mr. Ed fo passing gas. Corning REAL close was Matt McDmm. bat the panel-of judges picked JESSE CROWLEY. whose caption is shown above. Clark &S. Nickel ©M08 bj K A HORRIBLE UPS branches into fashion MY SHOE'S UII71EP. CAM YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY MOSE nCHES LET'S MAKE THAT STOP. CTIL^ ,, WASTE OF THREE I'M A LITTLE CHILLY. CAM I GET A SWEATER? WISHES fo Try again next week/ F Contact: 435-797-1775 • FAX: 797-1760 statesman@cc.usu.edu www.utahstatesman.com Please Note CLASSIFIED AD DEADLINES are one working day prior to the day o( publication is • desired by 10 a.m. Cost per submission is 20 cents per word $2 minimum. Minimum of three publications per ad. Reduced rates for quantity insertions are available. Commercial rates vary, depending on frequency. VISA, Mastercard and Discover are also accepted for payment. Use 797-1775 to place phone ads. Advertisers should carefully read the classified ad form. TSC 105. The Utah Statesman reserves the right to refuse any ad, display or classified. The Utah Statesman has authority to edit and locate any classified ad as deemed appropriate. Help Wanted Private individual desires to hire a full time private teacher for his two eight year old twins. Room, board and competitive salary will be provided for the right candidate. The location of the position is Star Valley, Wyoming, located 60 miles south of Jackson, Wyoming. Qualifications include a degree in elementary education and the ability to become certified in the State of Wyoming. Salary negotiable dependent upon qualifications. Please send resume to: Pam Clement, Bowers Associates, P.O. Box 1550, Afton, WY 83110. Telephone: (307) 885-2266, Facsimile: (307) 8850641. suI do|ku Male international students wants to live with an American family and learn more english. 1.7 months, prefer older couple in Logan. Private room. Call 770-2413. © Puzzles by Pappocom Driver/yard help. Requires good driving record. Full-time, please call 563-6282 ext. 134. 5 9 2 6 8 8 4 7 3 2 7 9 1 5 1 6 3 8 4 4 7 5 7 9 Fili in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 grid contains the digits 1 through 9 with no repeats. Statesman Sudoku puzzles will range from very easy to very difficult. Check them all out. Answers printed elsewhere in today's issue. Click on www. sudoku.com for more info. Jobs available now! Actors, Extras, Models! S72-S71O Daily Member BBB, Free Acting workshop's. 80143&O067. AGSneedjobs.com We need Paid Survey Takers in Logan. 100% FREE, To join click on Surveys For Rent S425 summer, $2,200 school year, FOREST GATE WEST # 1 7 4 0 . 460 North 400 East, private bedrooms, new carpet, dishwasher, stoves, blinds, summer/school year discount. 752-1516. Sign up now! Brooklane Apartments 645 East 900 North, Close to USU 753-7227. $425 summer, $2375 school year. Private bedrooms, new carpet, dishwasher, stove NSNDNP. Call now 753-7227. Newly married? Need more space? Call 752-1516. Summer only. 4 bedroom spacious apt., Must see! New carpet, blinds, dishwasher, stove, NSNDNP. Call 752-1516 now to reserve your spot!. Sweet one bedroom cottage for rent. $350 per month. Great location. wwww.loganscoolestlandlord.com. 770-5156. tocos and burritos all combination meals Expires March 3 1 , 2006 ; : .. ,.„. . ,M , | Roommates wanted. Providence. Utilities paid. Must like dogs. 435-770-9589 or 435-2134)138 For Saw 2001 Nissan Centra great economy car. Clean. 5,900 miles, $6,300 obo 7573521. *752 How to Books, Reports and Manuals" on CD Rom that you can reprint and sell. Send S20 cash, check or money order to: Jeremy, PO Box 301. Providence, UT 84332 NICE Updated 3 bd 2 bath, brick, AC, dishwasher, fenced yard, sprinkler, garage, hard wood/ble, Logan's Island area, S i 15,000. By owner 435-7134675 435-757-0911 Summer Jobs Summer Pest Sales. Earn Big $ and live in California. Managers and Reps needed. Call Rob 714-797-7809. Satellite installation Managers and technicians wanted. Make great money this summer. Our top technician earned over 40k. 801-705-9973ortroy@isattv.com HIGH PAYING SUMMER JOBS! Opportunity to earn high income, gain valuable experience, excellent resume builder. Call 4S0857-8671 today. free to travel, clean cut, outgoing. Travel major cities/resorts with National Company. All expense paid training. Lodging/ transportation/ return paid. Must start NOW! 1-877496-6321. JOURNEYMAN/MEAT CUTTER. Job is in Roosevelt, Utah. Cutting, trimming and wrapping meat; stocking the meat counter and deli area. Meat cutting background and/or experience required. Work times will be any day Monday through Saturday. Great opportunity for growth and development of existing skills. Excellent wages. Salary will be negotiable depending on experience. Employer will hire at apprentice level and assist apprentice in becoming a journeyman meat cutter. Wages will increase with experience. Contact Mark Stewart at Stewarts Market, 1435-722-5650. CARPET INSTALLERS AND helpers needed! Commercial experienced. Only hardworking and willing to learn, Mostly out of state jobs. P.O.E Donna 1-801-201-3518. for full time web press operator. Applicants must have a flexible schedule including working throughout the night Urbanite Press experience preferred, but will train. To apply, please submit a resume to: The Spectrum. Gloria Bertram, Human Resource Director, 275 E. St. George Blvd., St. George. UT 84770. FAX 1435-674-6272. E-mail: gbertram@thespectrum.com. DRIVER CDL TRAINING with SO down, financing by Central Refrigerated. Drive for Central and earn up to S40K plus 1st year! 1-800-727-5865 www.centraldrivingjobs.net DRIVER-MAKE MORE money! Regional, dedicated, trans-con available. No experience, no problem, low cost CDL training available! Contact Omar: 1-800800-1100. Reftf 169. EOE. DRIVER WANTED FOR Salt Lake City. Must have CDL. Two years experience. Reefer experience preferred. Capable of lifting 50 lbs. 1-800-743-9826 ext 181. THE SPECTRUM IS accepting applications PART-TIME HELP NEEDED. Set your own hours, work near campus, call 4803578671. Dish Network sales reps and installers. No experience required. 1,000-2,500 per week this summer. No gimmicks, just hard work. 801-812-3474. Statewide Ads ABORTION? WHY? CONSIDER adoption. Warm, secure loving home available for newborn baby. Please call 1-8CO6064411.A-957. $500 POLICE IMPOUNDS! Hondas, Chevys, Fords, Jeeps, Toyotas, etc! Cars, Trucks, SUVs from $500. For listings 1-800-3669813 extension 9977. UTAH MANUFACTURER FOR 20 years Plus - All Steel Buildings!!! Any size you want, any accessories you want, or any features you want, www.cobutldtngs.net or call 1-800-262-5347. CO Building Systems, Inc. Building a Reputation on "Old Fashioned Integrity". METAL ROOFING AND siding $.29 square foot- Galvanized 2' Wide $.49 square foot. Popular colors, Blems. Metalmaft 1-800-947-0249, 181 South 1200 East, Lehi, Utah. A CASH COW! 90 Vending Machine Units/30 Locations. Entire business - $10,970. Local Utah Company. Hurry! Call 1-8015930084. ALL CASH CANDY Route. Do you earn $800 in a day? Your own local candy route. Includes 30 machines and candy. All for $9,995.1-888-745-3353. CARIBBEAN CRUISE 8 days, unique opportunity. Unpublished itinerary, 5 islands. Regular over $1,000.00. Only $259.00 Double, great ship, rush, limited space. Phone 1-801-7834642 or 1-888-7866006. AWESOME JOB, EARN, Learn, Travel. A great way to see the USA! Will hire 18+ , ACROSS 1 Rustic hotels 5 Sacred poem 10 Fifty percent 14 Carbon black 15 Jelsons'maid 16 vera 17 JPL partner 18 Mary-Kate or Ashley 19 S.E.Asian country 20 Treatments for disabilities 22 Submerges 23 Put up 24 Rummy 25 Goll score 28 Lilly or Whitney 29 Pull out all the stops 33 Worrier's word 35 Made way 37 Stellar blasts 39 Feedbag tidbit 40 Basmali and Drown 41 Robert Redlord movie 44 32-card game 45 Stable seats 46 Vegas opening? 48 Slightly shifty 49 " _ Gotta Be Me" 50 Underground Excavations 52 Alan Ladd classic 55 Jailed 59 Top-drawer 60 "Water Ulios° painter 61 Togo's capital 62 Berry and Griffey 63 Choice of conjunctions 64 Large volume 65 Fateful day 66 Showy bloom 67 Restaurant rating unit DOWN 1 'Say it _ so!' 2 Ark man 3 Cyrano's feature 4 Gape 1 y A 14 17 X) O 2S00 TI&UR* Itarfu Swvlcn L Inc. AO rlghii mccrvxL 5 Causes to move onward 6 Thoughtfully concerned 7 Black-ink itom 8 Prevarications 9 Boyz II _ 10 Bad breath 11 Hale or King 12 Appearance 13 _ up (admit) 21 Exist 22 As yet 24 Instant lawn 25 Slacks 26 Ciao on Kaual 27 Spoke wildly 29 Advanced a trace 30 Barry and Nelson 31 Model of excellence 32 Cantankerous 34 Beach quality 36 Sculling pole 38 Soothing ointment 3/2/06 Solutions 42 Peg for a golfer 43 The Jorsey Lily 47 Comprehend 5 0 " _ Cane1 51 Epsom __ 52 H.H. Munro in print 53 54 55 56 57 58 60 Tilled soil Meara or Archer Traffic diverler Booty Madame Bovary Doe or stag Atlas page |