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Show frdnesday'SepiZ 200519] The Funny rage A collection of student-produced A syndicated comics. KtAt>V FOR. A FIRE Following in the skid marks of their parents, kids get caught up in "tricycle rage." "Get ready to lose weight! I'm Susie and this is my assistant, Terry the Tapeworm!" -OH... THE PRIM REAPER HASFOUHP ANOTHER VICTIM/ YOUR HOUSE / HOW? HASFAtLEO TO / IT LOOKS COtifORh TO THE I EXACTLY LIKE EVERY SIBDIVISIOH OTHER ARCHITECTURAL HOUSE' GLHOEUNESf YOURS IS PAINTED mnmcr / THERE GOES HIPPIES. ( THE NEIGHBORHOOD. F/C/triFIHAVETO MOVE PACK m THE HOt... NOT THE SUBURBAN SCYTHE OF, SHAMEU IHEEfTOSTOF WMN&A N£/Kf THROUGH SCHOOL \ IFIWANTTOGET THROUGH 5 # m . V Your gag line: ...AND IF JERRY TOLD YOU NOT TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF, WOULD YOU MOT DO THAT TOO? LEMMING MOTHERS ake/T C/a/* & 5. DARLIMG, I CAM'T STAY LONJG. MY WIFE I'M OUT TOKYO P4KTOFME WAKJTS TO COMMIT- BUT r ZSM'T SVRB. iw 8* -^ '•' Your name & phone: foTSClOSby Ik •9 C124-92 Speech Instructional Assistant S5.25/hr C109-93Yetc Staff $5.50/hr C421-05 Usu 1330 001 Si Leader $6.75/ hr C064O6 Laboratory Technician 7-7.50/hr C069-06 Museum Intem 1 credit hour+500 stipend C072-06 4-h Program Assistant S7.00 C348-01 Observatory S6.00/hr C267-O3 Social Statistics Tutor fsoc 3120) S5.50/hr. C155-05 Grader $5.62/hr C067-06 Laboratory Assistant $7/hr C075-06 Engineering Asst. 11.00 C079-06 Laboratory Assistant $8/ hr C306-96 Yurt Maintenance Worker S50.00 per day C524-05 Office Assistant 6.00/hr C074-06 Lab Aide S6.00 C080-06 Special Project Assistant $7.00 C081-06 Ropes Course Facilitator C171-95 Note Taker $5.15/hr C186-05 Tutor 5.25 C188-05 Tech-writer Intem start at $6.50 C422-04 Baker Assistant $5.50hr C162-99 Prep Cook 5.25/hr or BOE Off-Campus Jobs 0367 Lead Runner $10-$20/hr 1168 Salesperson 1403 Internet Specialist Neg. 1738 Business/history/english/music/ Avoid getting a parking ticket!! Buy your permit before Sept 6th. >££> TO me, ?- "W" Mad Hot Ballroom (PG)7 00. 9-10 Sal/ Sun 4:45 rothers Grimm* AWARD WINNING DOCUMENTARY Stadium O I «35 W. 1OO N- (PG13) A 20, 6.55. 9-20 Sal/Sun 2.00 40 Year Old Virgin Provldonco (R) 4:40. 7 00. 9:30 SatfSun 2 20 Sky High MIDNICHTSHOVVSUSOFRIJSAT t * ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft (PG) 4:25, 7:00, 9.05 SaUSon 2:15 Duko* of Hazard Brothars Grimm* (PG13) 4:40, 7.00, 9.10 SoUSun 250 (PG13) 1:00, 4:00. fl:40, 905 March of tho Pong ulna (O) 1:40, 3.25. 5.OS. 7:25, 9:10 ' Transporter 2 ' (TO134.30. 7.10, 9.10 SflUSun 2:10 Valley Valiant (G) 1:35.3:20,5:05, 7 15,9:00 40 Year Old Virgin (R) 1:50.4:20,6:55,9:25 Rad Eyo (PO13) 1:40. 3:35. 5.30, 7:26. 8:20 Woddlng Craahars (R) 7T0O. 9:26 SaVSun 4:30 a Groat Raid* (R) 7:00, B'35 SotfSun 4:23 Batman Boglns (PG13)6;&0. 9:26 Sat/Sun 4:15 Tho Cava* (PG13) 1;0O 3:00. 7:00. 9:00 Oukoa of Hazard (PG13) 1:05. 3:10. 5:20, 7.30, 0:40 Transporter 2* (PG13) 1:20, 3:15, 5:10. 7:05, 9:00 Buy Tickets Online at wmmovieswesLcom *No disaaal pHsts or lidds acnpldfori b « swia v y Charilo *ndtf>« Chocolato Factory w (PG)7:00.9.15Sai/SurtfMon4:30 ww " Mutt Lovo DOQ* (PG13) 7:00.9:15 Sat/SunAion 4:40 Skslaton K«y (PG13) 7:05. B:10S«/Sun/Mon 4:35 Wslfwstay Daaurt MgM rs BftQQ Seted sNnrs atf $J 50 a i U W h l Ttei ' Thursday, noon computer Room & Board for semester 0500 Morning Aid $6-7/hr 1831 Sales 0504 Window Cleaning S7/hr 1896 Delivery Driver S6.50 1899 live-in Nanny $250 a week +Room & Board 1912 Residential/day Services Support Staff 1909 Indoor Soccer Official $8-$10/hr. 1942 Dental Office Manager/ Assistant Based on experience 1949 Staff Accountant Competitive 1710 Truck Driver 1849 Construction Worker S7-S12 0090 Handyman $6/hr 1969 Night Staff BOE 1970 Social Worker/ Counselor BOE 1863 Construction/maintenance BOE 1592 Health Care $8 1855 Food Service BOE 2000 Gymnastics Coach BOE 1130 Auto Counter Sales/repair Service Writer $8/hr+B0E 0424 Life Skills Instructor $7.00 after training 1821 Cosmotologist 2010 Drivers/ Cooks 2001 Fashion Merchandising Intem negotiable 0224 Janitor $6/hr 0321 Landscape Crew Member BOE 0730 Poetry And Essay Judge $7/ hr. 0729 Typist S7.5O/hr 0162 Personal Aide $7.00/hr 1154 Phone Collector Neg. 1908 Helpdesk Analyst DOE 1938 Weekend Helpdesk Analyst/network Admin. BOE 2040 Child Care Negotiable 2042 Land Surveyor BOE 0167 Demolition And Cleanup 7.00+ BOE 0689 Customer Service Rep. $7.75/hr • 8.25in90days 0592 Office Assistant 0410 Female Youth Counselors S8/hr 0787 Customer Service Representative Based on experience 1063 Bus Driver $7.25/after training 0182 Sales/jewelry S5.75 1220 Male Youth Counselor $8/hr. 2050 Construction Laborer BOE 2044 Independent Sales Representative 2049 Childcare Assistant 6.00 an hour 2046 Cashier/ Crewmember S7/hr 2055 French Tutor 2054 Live-in Babysitter free room w/ private bath 0802 As- Is Worker BOE 0797 Laundry Worker $5.15/hr ' U T A H - 7sa,,«7a i I Hdults $3 • Children S2 j .Gaelic Ualleij's LuKunj Discount Theater ' nnrni srim • Gnmr SOUND • Gfum rieiuru MADAGASCAR (PC) Daily @ 5:00 Sal Matinees® 1:00,3:10 i & MRS. S M M (PC 13) Daily @ 7:00,9:25 Shows iHMore (jpiii only $2 Winning caption will receive a FREE Hob meal. Bring entries 1045 Cashier S5.15/hr 0323 Sales Floor Wo rker/ Flow Through Worker BOE 2051 Multimedia Design Technician Negotiable 2043 Tutor For Middle School Aged Girt Neg 2041 Real Estate Assistant $8/hour + bonuses 2053 Janitorial Assistant 2057 Countertop Fabicator/ Installer DOE 2056 Roller Team $8.60 2060 Webmaster/quotation Department Depends on expenence. 2061 Sales Representative/ Manager 0526 Delivery S7.00 -S8.00 1163 Newspaper Sales Rep. commission (S8-15/hr.) 1321 Sales Associate/ Beauty Advisor Negotiable 2065 Salad Bar Attendant $6.50+, D.O.E. 2066 Baker $7+/Hour, DOE 2068 Farm Hand Based on Experience 2069 Snack 8ar Employee 5.75-6.00 an hour 2071 Framer$8/hr 2072 Construction-framer $17.00 per hour 2075 Sales Representative Commission (S20 --/sale) 0863 Customer Service Operator 6.50 + Commissions 0304 Farm Helper $1400/mo. 0077 Store Manager S9/hr negotiable 1174 Receptionist/administrative Assistant Based on Experience 1307 Evening Cashier $6.50+ 1976 Seamstress BOE 2073 Circuit Board Assembly 7.50-8.00 2083 Research Nursery Technician 2087 Cook $9/hr 2089 Clerical S50/month 2090 House Cleaning $9/hr 0824 Golf Course Shop Assistant BOE 0328 Office Worker start @ $6.15 1298 Day Cleaner $7.50/hr. 2080 Fun Park Staff 6.00 1875 Handyman Assistant $8.50+ DOE 1990 Weekend Cleaner $8/hr 2076 Sod Stacker Negotiable 2078 Yard Worfc $8/ hr 2079 Crew Member $6/ hr 2081 Sales Associate 2084 Back Pack Vacuumer $ 8 / hr 2086 Customer Service - Home Based $9.00/hour 2092 Building Representative S7-S8 per hour 2094 Laborer $7/hr +80E 2095 Advertising Consultant commission based 2096 Lawn Sprinkler Repairman $7.50 0279 Hostess/cashier negotiable 0347 Welder $10.00 1271 Busser 1425 Case Manager- Grave Yard $8.22 1783 Kitchen Staff DOE 2064 Seasons Pass Representative Benefits 2097 Assistant Swim Coach 1500 total 2098 Yardwork 9.00 2100 General Labor 7.00 2107 Direct Care Staff $6.75 - $8.10 2109 Youth Counselor $7.50/hour 1051 Handyman And Yard Maintenance DOE 0099 Swing Shift Cashier 0131 Ticket Office Clerk start at $6.50 0482 Cook $8-10 B.O.E. 0550 Housekeeper/exercise Aid $6.50/ hr. 1035 Front Desk Attendant Starting $6$7/hour 1746 Yardworker 6.00 1840 Babysitter/nanny $6/hr 1981 Day Shift Manager $7/hr starting 1982 Cooks $6.50/hr starting 2102 Production Workers S5.75 • $9.50 2103 Sales Representative negotiable 2104 Vacuum Sen/ice 6.50+commission 2105 Administrative Assistant/ Bookeeper DOE 2106 Delivery Driver negotiable 2108 Sadler Construction Depends on exp 2111 Housekeeper 6.50/hr 2110 Horse And Yard Care $10/hr 2112 Receiving Associate $6.75 starting 2113 Check-out Service Associate $6.50 starting 2114 Affiliate Program Manager Trainee depends on exp 2115 Sales/ Quote Department $7.50 to $9.50 2123 Steel Yard Delivery Dnver/worker 8.00 2124 Service Technition For Small Engines 8:00 1431 Maintenance 1836 Nanny 6-7/hr + additional perks 2125 Network Administrator Negotiable 2006 Special Education Aid Based on experience 2116 Nanny based on expenence 2119 Meat Dept Cleanup 2120 Para professional (student Aide) 2118 Paraprofessional (student Aide) 2121 Daytime Grocery Stacker BOE 2122 Nanny $7/hours 2130 Book Mover $7.50 per hour 2127 Cook, Sous Chef. Pizza Delivery Driver based on exp. 2128 Pizza Delivery Driver, Food Prep based on exp. 1922 Window Washer commission 2126 Models based on experience 2117 Fashion Merchandise Intern negotiable 2129 Haunted Forest Staff/actors,set Builders Neg X-Word Puzzler ACROSS 1 Sandal ties 7 Bill at Ihe bar 10 Six-sided state H Bad luck 15 Small battery size 16 "...but answer came there " 17 Pasl legal closing time 19 Sandy hill 20 Club lees 21 Meddled 23 Art Taium's jazz style 24 Lung filler 25 Addis _ . Elh. 29 Enzyme suffix 32 Bites liko a beaver 36 Tommy gun sound? 39 Correct 40 'DilborT apprentice 41 Ordinary writing 42 Wood-shaping tool 43 Ruination 44 Lock breaker 46 Toboggans 48 The French? 49 Glistened 50 Kind of reaction 52 Social finisher? 54 City on the Truckee 59 Nailed obliquely 63 Alternative spread 64 Jetlag cause 66 the Impaler 67 Antique auto 68 Seoul citizen 69 Supports for glasses 70 Classitiods 71 Rapiors and foils 13 • O ZOOSTrtbun* MMla S«vic*«, Inc. All rlflhU r***rv*d. 7 Showing strain 8 Bern's river 9 Port ol Iraq Ml 03/08/05 Solutions 10 Below 11 Sightseeing trip 12 Hollywood^ Heche 13 Pay attention to 18 Cruising a beat 22 Trifle 23 Cricket club 25 Saudis, o.g. 26 metabolism 27 Make amends 28 Broad, cookies and such 30 Shawl's cousin 31 Manhattan neighborhood DOWN 33 Enhance 1 Roo source 34 Dry up 2 Bean curd 35 Cubic meter 3 Mechanical 37 Police call loiters learning 38 Gumshoe 4 Citrus coolers 45 Play tor a sap 5 For in Spanish 47 Day light? 6 J.O. Rockefeller's 51 Popular 1870 company aquarium fish 53 Flat-head nails 54 Bs nomadic 55 Jazz giant Fitzgerald 56 Close in on 57 Contended 58 59 60 61 62 Singer Tori Poi source Beaut Yikesl Animal hideaways 65 In what way? |