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Show UTAH CHRONICLE Friday, September 30, 2005 MuthaCalendar Tha' Police Sept. 30 Friday If you ask Calendar, our position as a narcotics officer in no way constitutes a "source of conflict" in our other job as a seasoned Colombian drug-runner named Senor Smiles. Is it so unusual for a person to have a day job? According to common knowledge, narc cops are immortal. It's a big joke among Calendar's C-UNIT that, like Tupac's "Thug Life," we have a gangsta-ass tattoo on our belly reading Everytime I Die, playing at Lo-Fi Cafe (165 S. West Temple) at 7 p.m., for $ 1 5 . You know, because we can't die...though we're implying that we can die and...uh... Look, cops are paid, like, $13 a day. No joke. Back before we discovered the lucre of cocaine smuggling-when we were a young maverick Calendar on the force-Calendar used to plumb dumpsters for sweet, sweet Arctic Circle burger wrappers. We used to lick them. For free. Because we're that bold. Actually, we weren't that destitute. We could have bought a sandwich or something, had we wanted to. But the bum lifestyle, so to speak, just really appealed to us. Oh, the dumpster days! We mean, any way you look at it, Poor Boys Rock, playing with I Can Lick Any SOB at Ego's ( 6 6 8 S. State St.) at 9 p.m., for $7. Saturday Oct 1. Wow, yesterday was a tough day. Calendar was out on our beat, patrolling the upper northwest side of Phoenix-you know, "the devil's anus"-and we saw our Swedish pal and informant, Torbjorn Magnussonn, battling an army of bewarted, squat, foul-smelling fjord-gnomes. We found out later that Torbjon was honorbound to slaughter the entire gnome horde. Apparently, the gnomes stole from his ancestors The Burning Spear, playing Suede (1612 Ute Blvd., Park City) at 9 p.m., for $22. The Burning Spear is actually not a spear, per se, but more of an imago of a spear-like thing. Actually-and we're not just saying this because Calendar is a conspiracy theorist. Stop looking at us like that, spyl-the burning spear was all part of a secret government cover-up. What was The Man covering up this time? Same thing he's covering up every time: The fact that The Man is, in fact, a Woman. Weird, huh? Take it up with Project 8 6 at In The Venue (200 S. 579 West) at 6:30 p.m. for $12. Here's the thing about messing with The Woman: She's a crafty and vengeful witch. First thing she did upon hearing that Calendar had divulged the secret of burning spear and her oft-misunderstood gender identity was sic the dogs on us. Yeah, The Woman has dogs. With bees in their mouths. Bee-dog! Run! So, urn, yeah. Now Calendar is a refugee, on the lamb, running from Susie 0. Law. Awardwinning photographer Sebastiao Salgado caught wind of Calendar's plight and took a stirring series of pictures documenting our monumental struggle. No, the series is not titled, "Gefilte fish and bathtub gin: The Calendar saga." That's the title of our soon-to-be released autobiographical film. Salgado's gig is Exodus at Library Square, and It runs through Dec. 17 for $10. "Yeah, I'd like a little more-If that's all right with you. If It's not, I'll kill you, pure and simple." Barney Clark haggles with the fabled antagonistic cook in "Oliver Twist." Oct. 2 Sunday And, as if Calendar's bee-dog problems with The Woman, all that stuff about the gnomes and the whole narc-turned-drug-runnerturned-bum thing isn't bad enough, a former love interest of ours (Beatrice, the bearded rhino-woman from The Ringllng Bros, and Barnum & Bailey Circus, at the Delta Center, 5:30 p.m., $10$ 7 5 ) is back in town. She's hassling us about alimony again, and all Calendar can say is "Woman, we're broke! You already got alimony! We alloutamoney!" Plus, we know the kid's not ours-Beatrice is a rhino, so we understand the brat's tusk, but we don't have a tail, and he does. Alfred the Lion Boy, we're looking your way... Ole! Random House to publish early Truman Capote novel NEW YORK—An early, unreleased Truman Capote novel will be published next month by Random House Inc. "Summer Crossing," which Capote started in 1943 and later claimed to have destroyed, is the story of socialite Grady McNeil and her adventures in New York. "Dashing, defiant, and irrepressibly carefree, the novel's heroine will remind readers of one of Truman Capote's most lasting creations, Holly Golightly in * Breakfast at Tiffany's,' Random House said Thursday in a statement. The manuscript of "Summer Crossing" was found last year at the bottom of a box of Capote manuscripts and photos that was consigned by a relative of the author's former house sitter. Capote, who died in 1984, had hired the sitter to look after his Brooklyn apartment while he was in Switzerland writing his classic truecrime book, "In Cold Blood," which came out in 1966. The writing of "In Cold Blood" is the subject of an upcoming feature film, "Capote," with Philip Seymour Hoffman in the starring role. The Associated Press POLANSKI BRINGS OLIVER TWIST TO LIFE continued from Page 4 a distant relative to the greedy gangster Foreman played in "Layer Cake" earlier this year. Bill is a murderous sneak who wants to use Oliver as grease man or body armor—whichever is more necessary. Newcomer Barney Clark makes a convincingly bland Oliver. Make no mistake, that's not a bad thing. SERENITY IS A WELCOME RELIEF FOR SCI-FI FANS continued from Page 4 something...well, something very dangerous. "Serenity" expands on that premise and introduces us to a nameless operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who has discovered River's MR. Z's IS NOT A SNOOZER continued from Page 4 cninchy, buttery but not greasy, big enough to be well worth your money, but not big enough to replace your stomach's room for lunch/dinner. And the garlic.mmm... the garlic.there's just the right amount. One thing you might want to steer clear of, though, is the bruschetta. Its mildly flavored tomatoes, bits of The character of Oliver is intrinsically uninteresting—he's too goodhearted and pure. Much like Charlie in this summer's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," it's the characters surrounding him that cause all the fuss and move the story forward. No wonder Charlie and his world have often been described as Dickensian. If the story of Oliver Twist holds no surprises, the movie is worth seeing for the visuals alone. Kudos to production designer Allan Starski, art director Jindrich Koci and set decorator Jille Azis, along with cinematographer Pawel Edleman and costume designer Anna B. Sheppard. They create a full-blooded world filled with menace and warmth—traits that sometimes are in the same frame. Polanski steers his ship with the sure hand of a seasoned captain, never forcing a point and drawing pitch-perfect performances from his large cast. If you've never made friends with Oliver Twist, now is the time. As for his old acquaintances, this new version might be worth seeing. a.allen@ chronicle.utaKedu whereabouts and will stop at nothing to get her back. Yes, it may sound a little run-ofthe-mill, but the wit and charm of both the series and the film are hard to resist. Most sci-fi comes right off the assembly line, with the same old onenote characters, shiny special-effects and by-the-book bad guys. Whedon, on the other hand, has crafted a world of his own with this franchise, something much more in- telligent than any of the "Star Trek" spin-offs. To be sure, he has clearly been influenced by such films as "Star Wars" and "Blade Runner," just to name a couple, but the mythology he has created is a brilliant one. "Serenity" will delight those of us who loved the original series and should even be able to convert a few novices. c.bellamy@ chronicle.utah.edu basil and toasted bread don't present a very formidable flavor front, if you know what I mean. This appetizer is good, sure, but not impressive. One of the other, more exotic appetizers—such as the Portobello mushrooms that have been marinated, sauteed, broiled with butter and topped with parmesan cheese—might better awaken your taste buds. Mr. Z's snazzy-jazzy-casual ambiance provides a stylish, chic back- drop for its delicious fare. The red, white and yellow walls balance well with the dark, elegant furniture and beautiful flowers at every table. There's even a cozy outdoor patio for fair-weather diners. So what are you waiting for? Dinner and a movie is practically the American Dream...for evenings, at least Get out there and make these soul mates of activities a reality. Visit The r Chronicle online. j www.dQilyutah\ chronicle.com Need Extra Income? Earn up to $200 per month By donating your plasma Qualifiers: * 18-59 yrs. old * Healthy * Picture ID *Social Security Card fosot Call: 801.583.0488 ^ A lift Therapeutics Company Bring this ad and receive a $5 bonus on your first successful donation up Strvtces the. j.koehler@ chronicle.utah.edu |
