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Show g ‘THE UTAH SQUEAL, Wednesday, February 1, 1928 ie Jeppson Is ry: Attempting Old Pures Won't ao Recollections) Read Squeal jlumnus_ Dies: Playing on the Green While Dok Janitors Self-privilege of read- | is frequently - more mutterin approached the gates to the campus that he realized and recalled to his senses the happy moments of his boyhood. at the gates he saw many congregated also, was the freshman ee . and _ there without his green hat, and there they were idly sitting and watching the janitor clean the rust from the portals and _..spaint the chains with a _ bright shade of dirty white.He strode on, trying to realize what this all meant in the realm ing about over the emblem and sprinkling a white dust there. It was just faintly visible that the occupants They, wore too, janitors’ uniforms. were working on this He strode up into Hic found the seal Feig and covered with a thick coating of mud from trespassers’ shoes. No attempt had group of students. who were idly been made to wash it since back in engaged in the pleasant pastime of 1928, the freshman class felt that tiddly-winks-on-the-green and askof University ed them why life. He all the stopped occasion ‘the diligent work on the part a for of the jantiors. “Well,” drawled one a the boys, eyes off the without taking his fascinating game, “this is Recrea-| tion day, when the students rest and the janitors take on a way of work. It is on this day that all of the windows get washed and light globes are replaced in the few classrooms on the campus. ° It is this day that we’ ‘students drop our studious efforts and partake of such a jollifying game as this in which we are now engaged. Please do not annoy further.” om The old grad strode on in hopes * of getting tubbed for appearing they the did not carry middle of them enough around to stoop There was ‘no. such luck. He went d and glancing to the hillside in an attempt to see the Mian low enough to serub it. And when the vigilance committee were minus in this physical capacity and did not force them to do so. He strode around the campus expecting to see the lowly herd gathered there to witness the tug- sea ee has ee the smoke elected, the .smutty Joe Requests Return of Scotch Sa severe manner. There is a side entrance.) Third: Thou to yesterday | also ‘did not want to bankrupt the student association as the dime building basement! And in every no call or urge instance, looked form. There is are no varsity to watch! they have around his ‘that the in‘any shape Thames Oe ee Oe eee ee eee re ae ger Love Letters ee eee nounce them defunct as the Hum- ee thd dn a i Mic Ab ithe Di deine ih silly <i ices Mla dials or An unmistakable parallel to the world famous case of Dr. Josephus 18, student he arrived home Jekyl and Mr. Hyde has been discovered to exist right in our of the midst in the person of a certain well known member of the student body. However, the name assued by but one of the two queer personalities is known at present. Under these un- | usual circumstances, it is suggested that the students be very after an evening before the sun the frotn careful ding, books, lids scattered wallpaper clear and out into in making sudden friendships the though red to my eet and me ribet I pane ; not speak it in the present of people who cannot realize the greatness-of our everlasting love divine, for they cannot possible ever real- quart Hottie beer, (home 10.29 per cent, it is alleged); But in its stead was a WHAT He lit it. And at that moment a large canvas bag was thrown over him from an airplane filled with the commission of control, who were on hand to slap the wirsts of any naughty law breakers. He was bathered up and thrown off the campus. The next day he died from trying to recall the days when men were men, on coeds. x is worth doing well” RTIN pets. Will remove : en a. Specialty. Like. City, Utah (Continued A LIFE from days since I saw you last, it seems | ‘mented soul, that thou wilt hasten Page 3) en- where about One my ‘prominence social reached the hign through my having place primarily pull with the principal. quickly. I shall grow weaker and weaker. Then will come the seventeenth of February. I shall are the entrance to a soul purer than the © ‘purest | of the tak snows. -Words, dearest, mere words are Father was in the lumber busi-. shake hands from nine °til eleven, not able to express the glorious ness and wanted me to go to work dance from eleven till two, and ex-. divinity of your loveliness. Ah— as he said I had a good head for pire at four o ‘clock. ro this be but how I yearn to again see your |lumber, but I craved to continue my Pn face, to press it against sue to with the glittering life of social |SEATED preeminence so I turned to this] |Our State University. Here my Better CLASS, CLUB and GREEK LETTER PINS. reception was gratifying. I was AT LOWER PRICES : ; aes rushed Phi Delt, Beta, and Pi Kap. | *F RESHMAN’S, The Class Pin House 317 SOUTH MAIN The Betas were running a man for Pope and the Phi Delts were apparently still celebrating Rae New | Year’s so I became a Pi Kap. The first able two and years were quite enjoythen January last, one. tof the fellows put down his stein and said, “Paul, how. the hell -|would you like to be Prom ChairI had been exposed to the : man? | Freshman _ Play and Wallace Goates, so I said, “It’s OK with |me,” and the boys pulled the strings and I got the job. I was told that I could not i the grand march alone so, bolting on my armour, I mounted my pony 0 1 / For the remainder |ful castle all covered with mortA — pe C atC s example dH In 131 South Main we _ (Continued from Page 2) ten enraptured to the gems of wis- the second part * imperfection of mere of the A has the the ; oe | Univeuiae Book eg * QoO = the re- search for ae a character not been as successfull among women as it has been among men and since there is the pos- sibility of some innocent character being besmirched, the results of the survey will not be printed. However, if any of the senior engineers care to take the problem for their thesis, the data at hand will. be turned over to such person oor further research. ‘GIVE YOUR FEET A TREAT too long—I : (Omitted.) y Ps or Black. Smooth or ins: Grain We call it “B B IG BOY” Pecansc it has so much style and wear S | Che— Party Shop | - WALKOVER | With Lambourne Florist re aut |WHAT A SHOE!! man-made | ‘VALENTINE |||f] ae indicates nothing more striking than verse, - (Exclusive reprint rights reserv- | Trespassers ed by the SQUEAL. will be prosecuted.) . O unmis- ‘moral interpitude, while the scowl~. ing visage of the alleged party of 67 South Main 0 find dom that flow so freely from un- |} | at ° also ing affection, Your love-slave, | Not Affected by ieee "Long Life Shoe Co. — Jeppson of one so pure and noble as you der my correctly trimmed and fas- is os onething to do with them, And there are fail them. ‘And yet there may be are. But you give me hope, you tidious moustacne. give me almost confidence, you others who have no brains at all. some hope for this rough and uncultured few. They may in time give me life itself when you tell me These are the ones who imagine {of your love. And I have a right they have a right to venture opin- see their mistakes and fall into line with the rest of the students. ions of their own. ‘Time after to the greatest of conceit, for I have found the fairest flower that time have I told them that it is ‘Patronize the Chronicle adver ever bloomed on earth and she has useless, but they persist, it would {promised to brighten the dark | § seem, even to the death, for there Bele With everlasting love, and a - re they rep- of the’ first part is always serene known as the Cedar City sheik. and benevolent, indicating great - Joe has announced that he has returned to school and also that| he is eligible for dates any evening (Pi Epsilon Psi blondes preferred). He also announces that since his brother has taken up a new occupation of hunting olives he will| also consider dates from the former string of aspirants who were waging war for Morry’s hand. “I’m not sich a- good lookin’ sheik as the bro., but then my tactics is purty good. I’ve helped many’s the cow out of a tight place.” f- "STUDENTS CRAZY |that I am nét in anyway deserving don’t keep me waiting can’t endure it long. of this week NEW sTOCK extremes being the party of the second part. For example, the face of the party The Seidel herewith presents an exclusive picture of Joseph Collitch Simpson, otherwise Buy your — Best Girl a ° of the divine sublimity of you that is ever | present in my heart—in our Heart! Remember, my dearest girl, I nest He mailman every day, so _with a pair ot fe feel the touch of your satin-soft skin, to feel the touch of your burning lips against mine. Oh! how can I endure it longer! Heart of my ‘neart, I am forever guided by thoughts of you. I feel words, it is impossible for it to express the smallest fraction of the if they are covered Shoes versa. characteristics takable evidence to point to him as equally loath to admit its owner); written page and because ee | Leng Life || - Collegiate — oT vice his fullest perfection of manlybloom which completely surrounded by members of the counter-sex. mine, but remember, this is only a crowd of dam- : ae Dre Won ‘tSqueal : been resent is the fact that Sid abhorrs | women, while Amott reaches only lanes of my life and home for all|» eternity—for ever and ever! I must be closing, sweetheart of a Shaving ay First avenue I came upon a grace- | : 9 gages. aaa Palmoli ve. a 0 able obstacles, including cold feet 60 A Good 1 -|and set out for the hills. Innumer- | beset me and my steed (good old Nellie), but we conquered all. At . Jepp-. ass of himself in public, while Sid | does the same thing in private. An eternity to me, my are forever before me and are the guide of my humble life. Your eyes else, and Certain common The crackling of the logsi in did, and Miss Hortense Johannaaside from ‘my fine work in the son became Prom Queen. classroom I was distinguished by.|- The next few weeks will pass Joe have are evident, as well as certain extremes of disposition. For example, | Wes has a penchant for making ans be-_ the time of our meeting! The huan soul can stand only so much, the fire before me seem to murmur | aye is. near to phe bursting loved. of is present, Olson is always some- One grand piano, answers to name of “Camile”, and last, but not } For two yearsI was confined to least, one German Dashund, ans~ my bed and forced to relinquish wering to name of “Fortschaufyour sweet, name—a_ name so s a c } my propensity for needlework. Filungsofen,” who’s pedigree is said nally at a friend’s suggestion I. sels were wringing their hands niece asi of mine, last night in. i at} to run in an unbroken line serargnt tried Fleishmann’s yeast. All is the upper windows and calling to y dreams, the image of your dear. back to Bismarck. different now. The effect of this the world to save them. Shouting. “sweet face appeared to me. Even ie “Decker announces that if the ‘sad misfortune is still with me “Who wants to be my queen,” I now I can see your long dark hair. ‘burglar will return the beer and now, for were it not for the two charged upto the door. All but one flowing down over your lily-white the guaranteed Scotch (only a swig just years I was confined to bed my maiden immediately jumped. This| shoulders, can see your matchless or two had been taken out of the’ age would be twenty-five.fair creature remained cooly on cheeks that bloom ever fairer than About my work in high dine the balcony and, with a level tone the fairest of roses; your deep bottle), the remainder of the assortment may be kept, no quesmuch might be said, but is best said, “Come and get me, kid.” I brown eyes—pools of living fire— tions being asked. left unsaid. Suffice to say that an endless names The latter supposition | suggested. | seems to have the greatest amount of support, when the _ fact that. these two have never ‘appeared together is considered. When Amott vintage, but of rare quality—running the son and Sidney Olson To-wit: One pint especially choice Scotch, (guaranteed pre-war); One ek All the NEWEST NOVELTIES — 4] alias of Wesley Dwight Amoit. Just what name the other part takes is unknown: at the present, ‘articles which he declared to be missing at the present, which were said iis duly found, labeled _- The better part of the side of | this double-lifer is known among under the its fellow associates stove middle of the street. Things were in an equally deplorable state of chaos. inside. It required a matter | of some three or four days to make | — a complete inventory, but at the end of that time he announced to| police headquarters the following ‘not missing before the croachment was made. with strange students until the other side of the personality and sitar door of the house wide open, and bed- ee Se of at the present. time, no danger. There| of enjoyment, just brave boys there came up, he found eS bug. He scratched his head and|~ Belov $he ‘SQUEAL prints the said: “Well, them Chronicle boys had better be goin’ if they want exact copy of a letter found in the my official O .K. on their ac- hall. The name of the devout sonny who wrote it, as well as the counts.” With that he took himself off, a dream that received it are known, heart broken man. He had wanted but must be withheld for abeiens _ ‘ to read the Squeal so badly and reasons. Decker, University » Devout School Boy publications so that he could an- domocile was broken into and thoroughly ransacked by mauraders, and certain articles of questionable worth annexed. Decker reports that when regular FO Last Part 2 Capitol Service icc a Remedy for Increasing Moronity of Campus Ass. Gat of the most atrocious crimes in recent years was reported in to police headquarters last week. This information was to the effect looking before doing so, and: if And say; it’s a funny thing. We| they found them to be close by, looking on with -unapproving mein, tried to call to mind a single-memdaily diet or place the funds in what did the felons do in every ber of the committee, Which is said the jeopardy. “It was as hard to -case? They lit up, of course! Were to be composed of the stuff of do as the other,” he said, “and I not the minions of the law at which heroes are made. The effort did not choose to forsake the meals hand? was a complete mental eae: which I may have gotten from the But, there day’ seem to fet an No soap. student association.” _ Jeppson then took, himself to his haunts in the A. S. U. U. office and continued to worm over the books, figuring ways and means how to indict the student from in Public. shalt And at this time we would like to] ters are watching! (If. enough of give thanks to our vigilant vigil- them are present, one may smoke in the Visas with perfect imto which is due the entire credit punity.) — It has been ao noticed that. for such splendid law enforcement. ‘Why many times we have seen the firing line is loosing its lure. the boys could some brazen member of the male, Time was when of the species about to light up in |walk up to a buddy and say, let the middle of the sacred Park us hence to. the line! Now it has Well Known Would-be Cheer Leader | Makes Ass of Self Explains That Crook Can Keep Other Junk and No Questions Asked. : ance boys for their splendid work to see if the vigilance rascals were Investigation Shows Baby Grand Piano. pr. trow, one of the most important parts of Josephuses best Sun| nice hotly contested contest of croize the strength of the ties that day-go-to-meetina suit; One pr. famous Elaxo-strecho suspenders, quet and quoits, and my, how oe bind us togetaer. boys were struggling — My. ; Dearest, your heart is part of which Decker alleges he had worn now that he can’t and has said} My .Dearest Sweetheart, eee but few times; One pr. gerits’ un“Bah,” he said to himself, “with Own: mine. Even now I can feel it beat that he can’t and since we know dies which were especially prized, tradition gone to hell and the seven As I aie in front of the fireplace, against my breast, as it has done that he won’t read it, we have unbeing ‘of a rare shade of purple;} winds as this has, perhaps this as we two used to long days ago, so many times in the past—times dertaken to tell all about es The tradition has gone, too.” And with I see your picture weaving in and seared in fire upon my brain. Oh! | One glass eye, color—light blue, Pure Boy! (Decker insists that said glass eye that he pulled from his pocket al out among the flames. Though the Lord, I now offer to thee a prayer Camel. Oh! How that man could calendar says it has only been two asking from the depths of a tor- does not belong to his girl, but is of-war. ‘black specs of students gathered _ there and to recall old memories when he himself threw a bucket of _ lime over the old letter. Alas, this, too, was fatal. In place of the the campus, and women were Jase there were three airplanes fly- announced that he would not soil his mind with the filthy journal. He also announced that he would hibernate| in the. law library all day and would not come forth until the janitors had finished cleaning up| every last one of the sheets so that| he would not even get a Sone of one. -Jeppson further revealed that iS with his tie on, for he had at least smoke! -_- realized that this day must be “U” day, as it was termed in his day. man, either detract day of days. there yegg a Squeal representative He had not realized what day it was, and it was not until he} There Lake with Joe Jeppson, well known col- law against it on the campus. That not smoke any other. place on the league to the famous financier and | is why it is with us so continually. campus, unless the University flat- (Use your aiinetion as we did) . e Se was a day early in ‘May. ; A former student of the University decided to return to pay a visit to his Alma Mater. students Salt by-products still continue to polute of the campus). Second: Thou shalt a Skai-B I the ozone of our fair city of cities. not smoke the filthy weed past the Didn’t Tell One Knotty © ‘The smoke problem at the Uni- north, or south entrance” of the Joke,” He Says. versity has” been dealt with in a Park building. (Meaning the out- | Is Bagged by ir of C. While Smoking a Hamp « on Per res to Recall “Men Were Men” a a years, to contend problem. The candidates for the various city offices of importance have used the problem for a plank in their campaign structure. But though the man using such tactics Lure “unwritten ae ‘hat is enforced on) atl the campus. If it were to be written, which it never shall be, it would read, in “all probability, something like this: Thou shalt not smoke the cigarette of the: mouth past the flag-pole! (not past the flag-pole of the cigarette, but | iEiven Thotch In ~ ’ For had ing “Yellow Journal,” Dime Sy un ciara sy S. U.U. Splash Paint and Replace Light Globes. Line Loses Fire | a eisai : s i l l e H Decker Home Who the ne :Gin,, mott Females— A al eaned p ClTrow r a Taken on C |Smoke Rules” Devulged ox Beep: Met! SHOE | STORE| 214 So. Main. _ |
