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Show ; TRusing bt ie er dear airdaile i New: Uniforms Add Touck of Style to Outfit; Charter Granted Finally. : ‘ ae e ‘States with pride that this has been} achieved only. by constant and ter-yific effort on the part of the of- men of the. striving of the local oe ie ‘and structors that this has you meet ai es even | A. and his in thought ee ghe is a oe, Paes ino& attained. There ea mention me, if you can’t write _ i cook. are ‘rumors “afloat that | ‘Sake, mention me!” Ce ee feel bad if your name mentioned, it’ s int : probably for the , in the the Freshies are going to play “We started”, continued oe Make eS ; Si is ute ge | °“The Poor Nut” at the Salt Lake jor, “several years ago to work * a Theatre soon. We thought they had] - for bigger and better things. When | If there’s anything we first petitioned back in- 1903 all been playing | bas all year. “Squeal” you don’t like, just men- | they told us that a charter_ “could| — tion it to Mister George Watkins, We must es fia Gebiee not possibly be granted as long as. and he will take the matter into things were in their ‘present con-| Watkins is a very good athlete, consideration. _ dition, so we immediately went to[{aand all o’ that, but his arms sure work to better our conditions to | tie up. on him when he is out walksee’ show them that we had the stuff ing with 1s oe scale - (Continued from page 1.) in us. We asked the war. _departquite at ease when the officers took at you a this “gqueal” some uniforms | ment to send us is tame just keep this in mind | him into custody. He was rushed | that were the right size and give a bunch of - instructors that it is: that could say ‘you’ without making it) ‘you all’ and we made ; lot of improvements. some old worn out Fre: ch 75’s and by letting them set. out i in ‘the rain for a couple of years got them into sea worthy shape. We had more|success when we got our horses. things they| h Why some of. the da sent us were so lazy that it took That the clothes } * Give Props. — Use a Trial under- | who sure as hell ; whose Salt Lake morning paper, | Professional name will not be mentioned, ‘| wrong with the school. |The Average Professor Believes— sent in misleading information to | school. ‘That. when zt Geant tees © _ |fhis jokes he really enjoys them. having had functions at which no| Wi ALIFE AT FROLIC Every Friday i on the morning of the killing | TOPS — ~ hard ee _— damn | iy eet him | be | ee ‘lis as healthy and contented — ad i) r|of his temperate fellows. _ Accepting the statement, never- 4 ) Y pa in ‘my laases ‘gehen: the o \theless we await eagerly the im-| that my oe Bie” was” ae students seem dumbest. a ellow- | pending epidemic of students dised out. ‘Come in.’ ’ Well, to my. sur- promising | for I distinctly recall Ly genoa Pigs. \ 4 ee as | enising ——— prise here comes a man gazing| ithe nurses telling mother a child e Slices a eh: through a camera, and before I} “My Gad: os me a onic /knew it I had been photographed | ore vont animal passions.” ‘window 2 i Pee to bite each of and at the same time there were| at the men’s” ears and _twist their | ES two other men all as king questions : ‘have a2) ea oe of ue Then I tore up the sheets| there doing this and also try- id | ing to find out a seventh sense so’ o| that I could detect students who was | | are cheating in my classes. Well, | I was doing all this along with a' 8suc- half dozen other things, when all Big Night at the Louvre. _ Every Tuesday : its real UME You io Ser will have to admit it § _ The stuff thats pulled gh this: uh would turn a grouch | = $rte a regular fel-_ low. Don’t miss it.” eligible for pledging does not|9 7 col- | hand in her name with the name} off to the tune Re 4 spaeuiee |in an eastern. of this sorority (whose name can- | conducted -experi- | jlege recently ‘not be mentioned here for obvious | § ‘burdening the. ments with guina pigs and alcohol. 2 e| dent feel dumber. Well, lywas. sit-| midst. It’s the GEE—But Se Ste to avoid reasons) as first: choice—Then {i] | Joan excess: ennui - une til 7 ‘He has found that the guinea pig ye a fatted lamb — _and Pcs ES |that is kept drunk six days a week 7 . oe dv “Meet the eolebette :a ies this nite studes. Hear them do their stuff right in our chaperons were present. What could happen to make COMEDY NITE and unfolded the facts. Main Ste. conection every evening to entertain you. It’s a real treat stude and he’ s sure to show you the time of we life. his said paper to the effect that 1 ‘That students are not nearly so this sorority was forbidden. to give | | ee to} parties" until a certain date for] | intelligent: ‘as when he who | h -| am the only known living man | BOWLING im is “I was sitting calmly in my of-| not the rapping of a raven, it_was ton ary blessings he bade me adieu 1] position. I feel. proud of ‘this. PARLOR | peat east ii Utah A. W.P F. KNIGHTON | ALMER | <— organization. for one as are ones abe ~ That ACE RECREATION a BARBER. SHOP — ee ae se they Singer Bud Ayeril. OF both| national and inter- @ national -fame, is now at the Louvre | it all depends }of the best bits of publicity—free ee they canal the papery at that— | paid. reading the “Calculus” and a book “Fountain | Lanch . up Famous kin for stooping to such a dastardly trick. But rather, it shall be’ our purpose to show the ingrati- ‘The True Story of my Life _By Paul Iverson" US POCKET BILLIARDS © ARCHERY : make BUD, AVERILL this’ That something is sure as hell : Bhsbcieation ‘more popular? Yet |wrong with the school => and it was only through the great-|_ | what did the editor of the Univer- |. That college boys spend their sity Pen, (whose name will not|§ | est efforts of members of the boy | evenings going on wild parties. we | | scouts and R. O. T. C. who were at be dragged into the mire and who That the same avnles to most is the president at | hand that violence was curbed. of this secret | CO- -eds. group of women, whose name will ( thi P| Hoot Given Third Degree x Oe Oe Fin the morning. They tact lie there}— | not be mentioned), do but. go with -Confesser to Killing lor ak over his face as he} " Reading time—One Pint. E lay to day; saving us all) We a late hour last nigint reports ‘picked up a thread from his suit) - Slowly the. sun rose_ from. ‘its | When a man sees red. hie: cabal tears of rage pouring down her; yellow and then | cheeks to the said reporter and} 2 pend. >| from the chief of police said that and started a on his confession | lethargy, gilding the. peaks, of the | | wait "til he sees nae he is. lableFisse Sssee a threaten to tear his eyes out for green oraS snow capped Rockies with a flood | Joop. _ | “Hoot,” famous crook at the Uni-| again. fof silvery light. The stork setey} versity of Utah and anti- -press | Jk ss their spring rushing! a | |ting his wings and glided majes-| fiend had confessed to the murder Tells oS Peculiar Reais For ruining their spring ru—-—. ae. In- | sa on Office Door ticly down between the tall pines. az “The Seucal | of three press men at the: Univer-| Ruining! !} | Wha did - you say! | ! | change its a han sity Friday morning. According| “Well, this rapping continued. It! and picnickers’ rubbish, bearing in’ terfraternity Council Friends, let us: make this pre-seaCouncil be-| igger| to an exclusive statement given to was not ordinary rapping like that his beak an olive branch and ten iname to the ‘Pan-Hel pa: Hell a : is do they Il of a drunken husband entering al tasty receipes for midsummer sal-| ee a eae representative - the lad} ted baby on this campus ore wae : pat es oe ss ‘home in the middle | of the night, ads. Depositing me with the cus- of the Segierne. ae g-| ~ never ONE CABARET involved, nor his kith and |their grades by a cold analysis of | tude of this || the ‘gtudent’s work, on whether _ or not student. | tion were given an opportunity to i do him any harm. Large throngs] of frenzied students watched the | ;| departure of the anti-press fiend vs] or oke down 246 South smart girls are a = hat” professors f from the building by the officers before the students at the institu- because of the all names 3 good. grades. Yet most of the | not good looking. “LIFE WHEEZES us AL Although it is now a oes of| history, there still may be some among us who have not heard the every year the professors get aj heart-ringing tale of woe that tells | substantial rake off arom the povk: of a craven youth who it is claim‘|ed ruined the spring rushing cf a store. That all ‘good looking girls get ‘certain sorority on this campus of campuses. It shall not be within] | good grades. — “Yet most of ‘the smart girls are the scope of this article to tell the : ek # ad ‘Taking the words of the be- _ loved Miss Rishell, “Please . day over in front of the home. : something nice— write some? thing else, but for heaven’s — economics class? I a oe ae Per. the dean. ‘The ae. Credo. (With Apologies) — The Average Student Believes— “That by changing their testbooks cramatic world. every you were eR Wallsce’ ee an | Morning Paper News Hewid fl Condemned for Misleading Stories. Tae Sia suggests “that any We | student wishing to read the latest + thing on cannibalism should. get Seribe Thinks Move torus Fopalerty of Pen and Law “Hard Boiled yee ms -Editress. phe cf : ‘worse, ‘Mister Goates me. 1 that he didn’t oe Pe way : luup ‘and that helped.’ Z . | “Altogether we had a pretty | cessful campaign | and now all we of a sudden a rap ‘comes on the | at the same time. I was filled with | have to do is to convince the boys |< door of my office. the Music’ Ss : Good — soon | There’ s : 0=o ( jueal Corian from the "Fellow that EATS at nay, & HARVEY CAFE 10 East Ist South Street ca eS noses. ae wit the tonsorial art-| pa It was not an eee rap tee horror | and ‘surprise and before + of paper and destroyed the camera 4 that it is: a worthwhile pr pe ti and a moustache | = and then proceeded to bite ears ist. for 2: facial | and that it is better to take Boy ‘hak of a frightened student who| knew it I had told them my name, trim so I-can not be bothered again. I continued this until the has come to me to find out why. TI how old I was, ‘where I was born, BE| Scouting and get two hours credit| last bit of life had left their bodies. wasting my time with you. sadly away and I} B| than it is to take gym ‘and only | have been so successful, or it was) how much I was worth | and when - “Well, then I took them to the |. He turned | thought “Gawd, if I only had a wife | 1 | get two- thirds of one hour and we} not the kind of a rap that a faculty| E expected to die. They continued | corner where they were found and member would give who was com-]} to ask me -questions—firing them | hope Ike Armstropg doesn’t, feel | 4 er would cut MY hair that way.” | | ing to find out how I make dumb| ak me from all sides until my head covered them over with papers hurt. Pe During the years 1904 to 1918) students. feel dumber. It was not was: filled | with nastly illustions. from my classes. I feel sure that ~ o ‘the rap of a bill collector who had} Just about this time I had gained| this. will absol ve all plame of the} my age steadily increased. I also | Bj come to attempt to pry “money | my composure, and the men, see- murder, but I was rene for ‘the, | gained in weight and stature ‘until ; la sad misfortune checked both. I} | from me—they can t pry money| ing the look of horror come across first time in my life.” Just about this time “Hoot” was was stricken with dandruff that : | from me anyway—I oe them to my face, attempted to leave. But | | try it ee rt was too smart for them.” Here} on the verge of collapse and it was deadly scourge of the suman race. =e that | — oe on page ee effort greatest the with only Here he ‘stopped ond gazed se- Bae the slager, looked about and} : oe neon’ the pee a ‘gray pal-| surveyed his. ‘audience with a look /he was able to answer the remain- | _ fe paintful look | | ing questions. | of pride on his physiognomy. Fare Gee Lines Company . ‘Special Cars For Rent at All Times Wasatch 1069 107 FE. 2nd South i “J had already, through my su- | dropped across his face and he con- ||] “Look. at the _ | preme powers, forced them all upon | fided that — at he were freed by a} the floor and had securely” bolted |. jury he would never again refuse with the press. It was not| door.— ‘My reader was in the| » talk ; whether or not “Hoot” ||} | room with me at the time, but be- | would enter a plea of insanity at| |] _ _[eause I did not want a partner in 'the trial, but from indications of i | erime I threw him out of the win| dow.” Here he stopped again for all those who knew him and who Hy were waiting at the station, it was | applause, after recollecting and | explaining that his reader is none} rumored that this was the only | |} | the Join the R.0.T. e 7 | sol : oan CORRECT TAILORING other than a famous football star. plea that “the famous “After I fgets him out of es logically ee ‘CORRECT PRICES an oa auverscsrcersuraeeseueeee: iar suuseanivasnunse usennen| sneaneneese: on nes ae slayer oe ft - See the Campus from the atthe ~ line ofbattle = || PRICES — | c Learn to talk Southern | | of OUR | _ so the horses can understand | TUX’s— : | facere selling you Shoot. big guns ‘Make Papa proud of you ae: ‘Smoke i in Class * _ been that . It’s about time for a crack about Paul Iverson and his Junior Prom. 2 * And say, Pinks, who is this ‘person e sistant football coach. ” “0, pardon - Student: o* and * * Our Pinky and his betterMajor Batson, head of the local | half have consented to hold chapter Eilice ter > Shee xs Sa wishes to hands” for the students bene- announce that the boys, who have - been trying for years, have at last 2 ats from: 8: :30 to 4:30. Do you been granted a charter in the Boy | think any of the students will receive any direct benefit? The Major | ‘Scouts of America. as ficers Boberg. woud say, “ll match you, double or nothing for your aes on the stadium construction.” 2 not crowd in the halls, but he sure ‘fills ‘the Park building with his new coat. of hair. Yl bet ‘Tarzan | of the Apes is sure jealous of him. Press, Claim} -Man: “Say, | kid; 1 guess you al don’t know who I am. Tm the as- 2 eons as ‘Ch Gowans may ‘ Student bumping eet a - gray- | : haired man: “Hey, where the hell are you going?a . — ox one Ruined By AVEO _Classinthe“L” Ble ds. eae aaalk and biek ae Neff. = ‘still: eng the to throw a damn joke about Grant and his Union you are looking pean zate we Suit. MUD UTD ‘Close up> of an 8:30. ae Its: the College Boob who || crazy about butterflies. until he got the Apri He’s a knockout. — ] andd they aree worth _ Bal * =< i more. a _ Presented by “THE ‘FRESHMAN, CLASS | Fs a ‘Become distinguished er 4th | year This pay can be used to make up de- 8rd, 4th. = Spit it on the stove fe Receive paya' SALT LAKE THEATRE > ee. Sat, Feb. | Our uniforms fit (n spots) = eaanl inte auererees Enereennnvasnen enueanneseens: | sist incurred BY. Military F Prom. e . |
