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Show OF ALL THINGS f By TERRELL i DOUGAN I ,WS. $ Special Luncheon V. chewing gum, candy wrapper,., wet jaw breakers, peach pits, or broken darts. You must not litter up America, but you must find a trash can, rather than placing the refuse m Mothers hand. Event MOTHER IS NOT A DISH TOWEL. Although Mother may have all the APPEARANCES of a dish rag at the end of the day, this does not mean that you e- ed hands on Mothers skirt. can wipe your peanut butter-cBE GENTLE While riding in the car with a dripping ice cream cone, you are not to wipe things on her new blouse. (This is to be said gently and sweetly, so the child knows you still loe him. You are allowed, howpver, to bend a steel girder behind your back to vent any small frustrations.) 3. MOTHER IS NOT A WAITRESS. Mothe" may well be a waitress by vocation, but at home, with you, she is not. She will not run down to the basement to find your Barbie dolls shoe, even though you see her running to bring you your meals. The only reason Mother brings your plate to you is that she realizes what will happen if YOU walk across a room with a plate full of dinner Let s just keep these things straight in our minds, okay? 4. MOTHER IS NOT KING KONG. Much as you would like to have Mother carry you all over the house and streets, she is not physically able to curry two children with the combined weight of 95 pounds around in her arms. IN CARTOONS If you have seen this feat performed, it was by that gorilla you see on the Saturday morning cartoons, and though Mother may resemble him, she cannot equal his feats of 2. - o Memo To Children The number one best seller of the decade (according to its cover) Is a book about a new way of talking to children. For example, when your child is shooting his baby brother with a dart gun, youre not supposed to haul off and whack him. NO, youre supposed to tell him gently that people ' are not for shooting. The author says that children just need to have things set straight in their minds, end then all will be well. He even has a chapter called Parents Are Not For Kicking. How I believe e ery child should know this. But 1 dont think the author has gone far enough. Being a man, the author added a whole chapter on Leaving Daddy Alone When He Comes Home From Work (did you notice that, huh?). NO EXPERIENCE But he hasnt really had the y experience that we mothers have had in order to set down the proper rules. So I have taken the liberty (in exchange for a small portion of tile royalties, please) to set little kiddies straight on a few more things about Mother. day-to-da- 1. MOTHER IS NOT A TRASH CAN. Mother does not have a waiting receptacle for wads of A luncheon at the University of Utah Union Building highlighted Thursday's activities for members of the Womens Auxiliary to the American Institute of Mining, Metallurgical and Petroleum w A, Engineers. The lrd.es are in Salt Lake with their husbands for the fall meeting and exhibit of the Society of Mining Engineers, a division of AIMME. Th convention is being held in conjunction with the Rocky Mountain Minerals Conference and the 1969 International Computer Symposium. A DISCUSSION At sion the luncheon, a discus- of choreography was given by Wiliam F. C risten-eartistic director of Ballet West. He was assisted by stars of Ballet West, Merri-bet- h Mrs. Calvin L Rampton, left; Mrs. James Boyd, Mrs. Brower De'iiinger and Mrs. Roy Nelson were among those attending WAIMME luncheon Thurslay. n, - Ilabegger, Janice James strength. The book is designed, they say, to "get through to your child and win his heart My additions have no interest in winning the childs heart Im for winning Mothers sanity. In fact, you can watch for my next book, called, A Guide to Collective Nurseries and Military Schools for Children. I think it solves the problems better. and To.nm Ruud, who performed Mobile. Seated at the head table a ere Mrs. James Boyd, national president of WAIMME, featured speaker for the afternoon; Mrs. Brower Dellinger, wife of SMS president; Mrs. Calvin L. Rampton, Mrs. J. Bracken Lee, and Mrs. Roy E. Nelson, who is general chairman of convention activities and chairman of the local WAIMME section. In charge of the event, he had gone th"0'gh a haf-hothemed Gilsonite and Gardon TV, he routine enias, was Mrs. H. Rush t dropped down and did another Spedden, assisted by Mrs. 30 or 40 push-up- s to taper Robert C. just Weagel. off. Members of their luncheon) I would admit that Jack is committee include Mrs. R. W. ' more enthusiastic than most Mrs. Dorsey Hager, But we must Lottridge, people about Mrs. Thomas Moseley, Mrs.! realize what it means to Mm. Karl Niermeyer, Mrs. DArcy; He likes life and has some R. George. records of note to his credit. IN THE CROWD Once he swam from Alcathose attending the Among traz to San Francisco with luncheon were members of handcuffs on, when it was the local program committee, concluded that no one could ' swim that distance in the bay Mrs. G. J. Anderson, Mrs. E. in any fashion. H. Haug, Mrs. G. E. apRob-ertANOTHER RECORD Mrs. Will K. Field, Mrs. He set a record by doing Thon T. Gin. on a na1,000 prone push-up- s Also present were commit-- ) without tional TV program tee members, Mrs. William A. t stopping. It took him 27 minMcKinney, Mrs. W. G. Wilson, utes. Mrs. Phillip A. Mallinckrodt, , Once again he swam under Mrs. R. W. Osterstock, Mrs. , water the length of the Golden Ernest H. Ahrens, Mrs. RusGate Bridge with only a sell Beck, Mrs. Raymond Gal--' sncrkle tube for breathing. lant, Mrs. E. E. Malouf, Mrs. ; An interesting man, Jack Elmer Speers, Mrs. Robert ! ' LaLanne. Olund, Mrs. Lloyd Pollish. Exercising Is Essential Marriage Ceremony Performed By ROBERT L. RICE I told about the enjoyable dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Jack LaLanne in their Beverly Hills home in last nights xi A VISIT WITH JACK LALANNE business, with a program that was now in its 20th year. . article. United in marriage Thursday were Miss Gloria Jean Malmstrom and Lt Carl Gordon Pyper. Setting for the nuptials was the Salt Lake Temple. Following the rites, the newlyweds were feted at a wedding breakfast at Log Haven by the bridegrooms parents, Mr. and Mrs. William R. Pyper, Phoenix, Ariz. Parents of the bride are Mr. and Mrs. Robert W. Malmstrom, 658 Garden View Dr., Midvale. Thursday evening the bridal couple were honored at an open house at the home of the brides grandmother, Mrs. Genevieve H. Wilcox, 141 Olympus St, Midvale. The newly married couple will be feted at another open house Saturday evening in Phoenix at the home of the bridegrooms parents. The bride received her masters degree from the University of Utah. Her husband is a gradute of Arizona State University, and has been stationed at Camp HIS SCHEDULE Jack, to repeat, la one of the worlds top authorities on physical conditioning. As we dined, the subject of e xe ing schedule comes first. After that I do the TV routine. But I find that I must be regular to keep the good My own health that I enjoy having. Hes healthy. Hes 57 and rcis came up and I has a body as trim as the asked Jack football player. He what tide of has a 27 inch waist and a the day, and chest. what days of The answer to good condithe week he Mr. LaLanne tioning is consistency, Jack exercised. Four in the morning and repeated. We are creatures Jack of habit and knowing this we three days a week, said. Never missed a session must acquire the exercise - habit. I find that I must have yet! a mental picture of myself in How do you work that just the way I want myself to with your television health be. Then I work toward that I asked, knowing image. If you cannot picture series? that Jack was long In the TV -- 43-in- Mrs. Carl Gordon Pyper Quantico, Va., with the U.S. Marine Corps. He has fulfilled an LDS mission to Uruguay. The bridal couple will make their home in North Carolina, where Lt Pyper will be stationed at Camp Le Jeune. Mrs. Frank E. Moss was hostess for an announcement tea honoring the bride. Other prenuptial parties were given by Mrs. David Goff and Mrs. Wayne Simper. yourself in a better light then you lose Incentive. BIG JOB Then he told me, Bob, we have a job to do in getting everyone we can to exercise regularly and eat properly. It is so important to everyone. That night we stayed at the LaLannes until 11:30 p.m. and tnen we joined him at his television show the next morning. I was curious, so I asked, Did you make that 4 a.m. workout this morning? He had. MORE PUSHUPS While we were talking, after Bankers Gray Flannel Bankers grey flannel makes a comeback in feminine fashions for fall and winter. , it ! s, ! ! 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