Show FA B L 13 I 1 PAN AD MOIR affre ada the new fable of the juven ie who stud ed td mankind and laid his tile plans accord angly once 0 ce there was a kid who wore a uniform uniform thit fit him too soon and a cap on one ear his job v was as to an awer the buzzer and take orders froni any one who could sho v 21 lents in the morning he might be acting as pack pony tor for some 0 d lady on a shopping spree and in the afternoon he would be delivering a ton or 0 coal he had been waved ade aide a ide by butlers and ordered about by blonds blonde raphers and joshed by traveling sales men until his ch id nature was as hard and finty flaty as that of the she purser in a swell tavern who lately has cashed one that proved to be phoney in answering the call of duty he had gone to the dressing room and aken a private fash at the maga zine beauty before she began to at tach the hair flair or spread the tile enamel he ile I 1 ad stood in the private lair of the sure ahli ligers gers when they were cooking up some new method of col electing much income without moving out of their chairs he had stood by while husbands with the scotch standing high in the bague collaborated on the lie which was to pacify little katisha waiting in the flat before delivering this masterpiece of fiction he would have to do a lit tie tle Sher locking and finally locate katisha in one of those places where they serve it in tea cups in the homes of the rich and great where he delivered delli ered orchids and inai nations and perfumed regrets he would overhear candid espre which indicated that every social e I 1 X 9 T wih a comrade in misery t t e 0 e t 0 ng ard ry hll hil to it boy day ga ide fter after ast all ded 3 a a it fit it e tic ho arv rv irae rao and ext un tour our nie bad had ast tast h a out and like ere t be was the his into hut ut i as the yankee cringed under the at tack and then fully agreed with the son of ambitious albion he ile said we were a new and crude people who did not know how to Y ear evening clothes or eat stilton cheese and our cla claims as were corrupt and murde murderers aers wont went unpunished while the average citizen was a dyspeptic skate afflict ed with moral then he retired to bis his state room to weep over the S tuition and the brit ion ih subject said the american is a poltroon for he will not defend bis his own hearth and fireside A cooks tourist from emporia kansas dropped into the vacant chair when the delegate from the rookery icv wormwood orin wood scrubs isling S E resumed his scorching arraign dent ment of the U S A he got an aw tul ful rise out of the coy boy from the corn belt the emporia man said there were more bath tubs to the square mile out in his burg than you could find in the west end of london and more paupers and beggars in fn one square mile of the east end of london than you could find in the whole state of I kansas ansas he ile said there were fewer murder in england because good opportunities port unities were being overlooked he ile eaid said he could tip any one in england except possibly the arch bishop of canterbury it was mas his unbiased opinion that london consisted of a vast swarm of melancholy members of the middle and lower classes of the animal kingdom who ate sponge cake with seeds in it drank tea smoked pipes and rode on busses and thought they were living standing beneath the cipf rippling fling folds of old glory the proud citizen of the great republic declared that we could wallop great britain in any game from polo up to prize fighting and if we e cut down on the food rood supplies the whole blamed runt of an under sized island would starve to death in a week with quivering nostrils he heaped heape d scorn and contumely upon any race that would call a pie a tart in con elusion he expressed pity tor for those who never tasted co a n on the cob after he bad had gone up to the bridge deck to play shuffle board the rep of the tightest little island on the map took out his note book and made the following entry lvery beggar living in the states la Is a bounder and a braggart that evening in the smoke room he began to pull his favorite specialty of ragging the yanks on a new yorker who interrupted him by saying real ly I 1 know nothing about my own coun try I 1 spend the winter in egypt the spring la in london the summer in ili carlsbad and tho the autumn in paree so the traveler d reported to a learned society that the typical american had become a denatured ex patriae pa pat trtat rIat MORAL no 0 o chance the new fable of the two brothers Br othera ano even start and the con tr asting termini in a flag station the job of telegraph operator is about the limit of barthly ambition therefore two boys boya living in a weedy hamlet began to hang around the depot and learn the morse alpha bet la in cue titie time each became a regular Ralli oad 1 1 an with calico sleeves and a tooth brush in his itis upper vest pocket they vere ere transferred to t the lie junction aid ai d began to bave dealan dealings gs with the old man min himself and cuss when no io 6 b 11 d up the schedule bearg quick on the trigger and good at s sizing zing up men they got into te operating department and each mch had a card case full of annuals one accepted an offer to go up into canada and crack too whip over a line being projected d by britch capt tal tj i ts who were nero too well bred to get out in their old clothes and prod the haip tl e other rem remained tined in the I 1 land band of his birth to push an extension into the northwest each delivered the goods in hia his own can Baill Daill wic spanning the lent streams fill ng the deep hollows baring tl couoh the hills and bring ing a new empire out ct of the lone some IN wilderness Ild ernes M hen the bauk who had been trans formed into a canick cleaned up on the b aall gement the D rectors gave I 1 im a D and the lying sent tor for him to come up to the house ard kneel en one knee and be dubbed the earl of saskatchewan the brother wanted to attend the ceremony but he had to send I 1 11 Is re grets as he was nas in jail at the time moral only a few receive fieles but many are indicted floor floorwalkers walkers bacon I 1 see a reasonably active man walks about milea miles in 84 bears just walking about his bouse house and place of business egbert of course that doean t in elude men who have bad to care tor fac restless children at night |