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Show Hilltop Times October 20, 2005 11 National Domestic Violence Month brings awareness to problem Domestic violence affects children, too BY JULIE PINCHAK Hill Family Advocacy Office love me anymore, passing my name like blame to each other. I felt like a mistake. Parents hurt their children every time domestic SHEPPARD AFB, Texas — Many parents believe they can hide domestic violence from their violence occurs. children, according to the Family Violence PreSo the excuse of, "He or she would never hurt vention Fund. the children" becomes a tragic lie that more often than not children discover firsthand. Research, however, suggests that between 80 to 90 percent of these children are aware of the With domestic violence in the home, the family violence. suffers every day. One of my friends shared, "Kids don't want to be Even if children do not see the violence, they can still hear the screams and see the bruises, separated from their parents," but they also don't broken bones and abrasions. want to see one parent treat the other like crap all There are many myths about how domestic vio- the time and listen to the screaming and throwlence affects children. I recently heard someone ing of things. say, "Children aren't affected because they do so They don't want to have to walk around on eggwell in school." shells wondering, "What kind of mood is everyIn my own personal experience, I always had a one going to be in today?" 3.5 to 3.7 grade point average, and I never studEven if kids don't hear the fighting, or if there ied, mainly because I wasn't any fighting the night before, they could not concentrate Domestic Violence Candlelight Walk can feel the tension at home. There will be a Hill domestic awareness and hatred in the air. My grades never falinitiative and candlelight walk Wednesday No matter how much tered, simply because at 6:30 p.m. The event is held to address say it's not parents school was "my safe this serious situation and show support in the kids fault, they . place." There, I was honor of the many survivors of domestic ALWAYS think it is. I always around adults violence at Hill, as well as in Utah and always thought if I had who didn't scream and across the nation. Volunteers will be done the dishes or had fight. Children tend to needed to prepare for the event. For picked up my brother's thrive in places they additional information or to find out how toys, he wouldn't be are happiest. to get involved, contact Julie Pinchak at the yelling at her right I always felt safe, so Hill Family Advocacy Office, 777-3497. now." of course I did well in Eventually, children school. I was comfortsilently wish that parents would go their separate able there. I could forget everything that hapways so they would have their happier life back. pened at home, until I faced going home again. Another myth I've heard is, "He's a good provid- They would rather be slightly sad that one of er and wouldn't hurt the children," or "She loves their parents isn't around anymore than to conher children and would never do anything to hurt tinue the "war" day in and day out. them." My friend told me, "I can't describe to you how When mom and dad are fighting, children usu- happy I was to finally see my parents split up. Of ally stay out of the way, at all costs! When parents course I was upset, but we were moving on with fight, children hear the screams and curses. They life and actually having some kind of life togethhear the common, "He's YOUR son!" or, "She's er." YOUR daughter!" This month — Domestic Violence Awareness When I heard those words through my bedMonth — I urge people to take a stand and speak room wall, it felt as if someone punched me as out against domestic violence. Children in these hard as they could in my chest. I felt like it was homes remain helpless and rely on us to protect my fault. them. When I heard those words, I felt like they didn't Remember, silence only hides violence. BYJESSJCA.ARMSTEAD 82nd Training Wing military spouse Across the country women, men, and children are traumatized by domestic violence. Families are torn apart, children are endangered, and lives are lost too frequently. October is National Domestic Violence Month, during which agencies gather their resources to bring awareness to this preventable problem. Each year, during this time President George W. Bush asks that everyone renew their commitment to prevent domestic violence and to assist those who suffer from it. On behalf of the Air Force, Family Advocacy asks each of you to renew this commitment as well. Domestic Violence has been referred to as a number of different names over the years, but the bottom line is that domestic violence crimes are about power and control. Tbe offender of domestic violence attempts to gain control over someone they are in, or have had, a relationship with by using physical or sexual violence, threats, emotional abuse, financial control, harassment, or stalking. An offender may also alienate their victim from family, friends, co-worker, and neighbors, often providing the victim with no support system to leave the relationship. The offender is not always abusive and at times may seem like the perfect partner to the unknowing eye. Often times, it is said that the offender is a completely different person when around family versus friends and co-workers. There are ways to help. Offer support to friends or family who may be in a dangerous situation. Volunteer with domestic violence agencies. Participate in domestic violence awareness initiatives. Ask questions if there is suspicion on abuse and report suspected family maltreatment to Family Advocacy. At home, develop a zero tolerance policy for abusive and violent behaviors in your family. More importantly and simply - get involved. The Air Force recognizes that family maltreatment is a serious tragedy and this war must be fought like any other. "It destroys the teamwork that is so es- sential to our success as a command, as an Air Force and as a joint fighting team," said Gen. Bruce Carlson, Air Force Materiel Command commander. Resources are available to support the victims of domestic violence and help the offenders find treatment to change their patterns of behavior. For additional information or to find out how you can get involved,'please dontact Hill's Family Advocacy Office at 777-3497. It is important to note that this crime happens in all cultural and ethnic backgrounds, religions, socioeconomic levels, military ranks, civilian groups, sexual orientations, and both genders: • Women are seven to 14 times more likely than men to report suffering severe physical assaults from an intimate partner. (National Institute of justice and Center for Disease Control) • Intimate partner violence is primarily a crime against women, but men account for approximately 15 percent of the victims. (U.S. Department of justice) • According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 37 percent of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence-related injuries were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. • One in five Utah women has contacted the police regarding a domestic violence situation, either for themselves or for someone else. (Utah Domestic Violence Council, Domestic Violence Incidence and Prevalence Study) • On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the country every day. (Bureau of justice Statistics Crime Data) • In 2005 there have been 15 intimate partner homicides, both men and women, in the state of Utah alone. (Governor's Violence Against Women and Families Cabinet Council) Print these coupons online at www.ufajubuponpovtfer.com Watch for Coupons every 3rd Thursday in the Hilltop Times For more details and to advertise call 625-4322 COUPON Good for 2™ i1 i1 invisalign® (invisible braces) Any Shuttle Cannot be combined with any other often Expires 10-31-05 XPFtESS I Expires 11/30/05 Hilltop Times 800-397-0773 Toll-Free 801-627-5555 In Ofidcn 801-375-5533 In Provo 801-596-lfiOO In Sail Lake City 11 II II II FREE Teeth Whitening with comprehensive exam, necessary x-rays & cleaning Cannot be combined with any otlter offer. 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