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Show THE OGDEN VALLEY NEWS Page 4 Volume IV, Issue V June 15, 2001 One Voice on the Family By Janet Hoffmann Today is my son Cody’s 27th Birthday. Although he passed away three years ago this August, we still celebrate his birthday. No, I don’t have a party but I do things that I know would make him happy. I like to picture him on the other side smiling because we remember him. This Memorial Day as we visited his grave, I told my family that it seemed like we should all join hands around his grave and shout at the top of our lungs, “WE LOVE YOU CODY!” They all looked at me like I was crazy and laughed, as I knew they would. I said it jokingly so they wouldn’t think I was really crazy, but I meant it. I commented, “If I were in heaven, I would love all of you to gather round my grave and hold hands and scream, “WE LOVE YOU MOM!” One of them said, “Can we just whisper it?” I responded emphatically, “No, I want to hear you.” I went on to say that maybe they could start a new tradition and more families would be more open about expressing love for their loved ones at the graveside. Then one of my children said, “You talk to those who have died in your heart.” I already know this, but there is something inside me that still wants to scream it out. But, there is also something inside me that worries about what others would think of me. Sometimes I wish that I could be more eccentric, but then it’s too important to me, for people to think I’m somewhat normal. I say “somewhat,” because I know that I’m a little off and probably more than I think I am—just talk to my family! It’s crazy how we do what is expected of us, but then again, others’ expectations probably keep us from becoming selfish. It makes us stop and think what others expect and then we decide if they are reasonable expectations or not. I guess it is reasonable to not scream in a graveyard, but today, on Cody’s birthday, my husband and I screamed, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CODY!” It felt great! It’s fitting to write my article today on Cody’s birthday because two years ago on his birthday is when I decided to write these articles. Thanks to all who have encouraged me to keep writing. It has helped me more than anyone will ever know—even me. Thanks for all of you who read my articles. I love and appreciate you. Oh, by the way, I have a P.S. On Memorial Day my sister brought a beautiful planter to Cody’s grave. Two or three days later I went to water the plants at the grave. The planter was gone. I was heartsick that someone would take it. We decided as a family that some people could innocently think that people bring things to graves and leave them and never return, which I know happens. They think by helping themselves to whatever they could enjoy is recycling. If there are any readers out there who do this, let me set you straight; a grave is a family’s private property, and no one should take anything off any grave. I can’t explain the hurt and disrespect I felt when I found the planter gone. I realize caretakers remove everything from the graves about a week after, but we know this and can go get the flowers we want off the grave before they clear them. The eight plants I did bring home added such beauty to our memorial garden. Please respect graves. And remember—we all pay for what we do . . . sooner or later. It’s too bad for most of us that it’s later— maybe if we got what we deserved immediately, we would learn faster but that’s an article for another day. Hope you are all enjoying your summer. Concrete Versus Asphalt People want to know the reasons behind choosing asphalt versus concrete. If you have a home in the Valley, there are conditions here that make asphalt preferable to concrete for parking and driveways. Besides our extremes in moisture and temperature, we have underground water sources and moving soil that makes concrete crack and break; aging it before its time. It’s hard to repair, and costly to replace. Both asphalt and concrete are dependent on a good subsurface, but asphalt has a tendency to “move” with whatever the land does, especially during freezing and thawing, and when it is damaged, it’s easier and less costly to repair. Asphalt saves money initially, but also in the long run. It can be maintained over time be sealcoating every three to five years with a thin aggregate and asphalt overlay mix. It provides a new surface over structurally sound asphalt, which saves and maintains this significant investment in your property and home indefinitely. With any work you have done, you should be concerned about the possibility of being scammed. While no one usually pulls up in a concrete truck and tells you they have “extra” cement leftover from another job, and then offers to work a deal with you, it happens frequently with asphalt “gypsies,” or con artists. They may offer you a great deal to do asphalt, sealcoating, or rooftops, but several of the following may also be occurring: The asphalt they are laying from local distributors is “cold” and will break up fast. It won’t be compacted properly. Depth should be three inches, but you can get less without realizing it until it’s too late. The sealcoating could actually end up being the black paint overlay that’s available at any hardware store. If there is a problem, there’s no one to call when they leave town, never to be heard from again. In the end, it will cost you far more than any licensed and local business will charge. While concrete may give you a different look you may want, asphalt is cheaper, better for Valley weather conditions, and easier to maintain over a lifetime. This article provided courtesy of Wasatch Paving. The Valley Stars Cheerleading Camp For all girls 6 - 12 yrs. old. Cheerleading - Tumbling - Dance Licensed Contractor Certified Instructors Delbert Morris June 25 - 27th at Liberty Park 11:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. Cost is $52. Includes pompoms & T-shirts. For more info call Andrea Storey at 745-2088. By Appointment Only! Ken Turner 940-9000 7299 East 1450 North, Huntsville $549,900 Gorgeous, Traditional Middle Fork Property! Please visit my website@: www.kenturner.org P.O. BOX 507 EDEN, UT 84310 Tel: 745-1709 Cell: 791-7420 Grading Dirt Hauling Snow Removal Landscaping Rock Work Backhoe Service Tear out & Replace Driveways Come see our New Location! Open House July 4th |