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Show APRIL APPIN: ROCK & ROAD CYGEES By I.B. Rappaport Editor's note: we sent our intrepid Rappaport to interview former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher as she toured Utah. He caught up to her at Dan’s Market in Park City. 801-466-0098 AIC Main Street Photographer Park City’s Fastest Finest, Quality Photofinishing §23 Main Street * One-hour Photo * Two-hour Slide Processing (E-6) * KODAK Create-A-Print™ + Black & White Processing * Custom Enlarging, Negatives or Slides * Portrait & Commercial Studio * Passport Photos * Unique Photo Frames & Accessories 649-6465 Rappaport: “Prime Minister Thatcher, what are you doing in Utah?” Lady Thatcher: “\ don’t know, they said they'd give me a pile of money to come here. I said, why not? I still don’t understand what it’s all about.” Rappaport: “How do you like it, so far?” Lady Thatcher: “Quite charming. It’s the American equivalent of Kazakstan, isn’t it?” Rappaport: “How so?” Lady Thatcher: “Well, it’s a remote mountainous region, dominated by a strange religious tribe. The parallels are uncanny, except that you folks don’t ride those shaggy horses.” Rappaport: “What about the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? I'll bet they don’t have one of those in Kasakstan?” Lady Thatcher: “Right you are, of course. I just love all those hallelujahs they sing. But then again, I’m told you people do ride bulls and play polo with a goat’s bladder.” Rappaport: “You may be confusing rodeo with American football, prime minister.” this is the place TE LOCALS Hearty FAVORITE Breakfasts Mountain Home Lunches Baked Awesome Pastries Desserts Private Parties ° Catering 801-649-5686 Open 268 Everyday at 7 A.M. Main St., Park City Klay Anderson Audio Inc PRO AUDIO SALES AND SERVICES “Good Sound is the Absence APPAPORT The Iron Maiden Does Park City 2619 South 2300 East Salt Lake City, Utah THE 1996 of Bad Sound” 1.800.FOR.KLAY 7054 SOUTH 2300 EAST +» SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH 84121 VOICE 801.94 AUDIO + FAX 801.942.3136 TTE \ esl Thatch: “Dear me.” Rappaport: “As 1 understand it, Lady Thatcher, you were the English equivalent of Ronald Reagan. Is that a good comparison?” Thatch: “Well, of course, I don’t wear trousers. And I’m not married to a ninny named Nancy. But, yes, surely there are comparisons.” Rappaport: “You have similar philosophies, don’t you? And your administrations weren’t that much different.” Thatch; “Mine wasn’t nearly as exciting, I’m afraid. Trickle down and Iran-Contra and all that. I’m afraid all I ‘had go wrong was the monarchy.” Rappaport: “What about the monarchy. The royal split?” Thatch; “It’s ever so boring. I don’t know that I can stand another episode: Diana in a bathing suit on the front pages of The Daily Mail. Then Fergie in the buff. Then Charles’ stupid telephone conversations. It tires me to death. These people ought to learn to better hide their behavior.” Rappaport: “Will England ever outgrow the monarchy?” Thatch: “Not in my lifetime. Certainly not in the Queen’s. Now, Charles, that’s another matter, entirely. But then, again, what else could the poor man do? He’s good at absolutely nothing . . . That’s off the record. I did not say that!” Rappaport: “In the end, prime minister, you were thrown out by your own party. What happened?” Iron Maiden: “Little boys and politics. Little boys and politics. I should have had them all shot when I had the chance.” Rappaport: “What do you make of Park City?” Iron Maiden: “It's wonderfully cute. I think all these tanned people with skis are just marvelous. Everyone should be like this: handsome, wealthy and energetic. Hopefully not quite as stupid, but there you are.” Rappaport: “What about the downtrodden, m’am? I’m told you are not much for welfare.” Iron Maiden: fare, there would “If there was no welbe no welfare moth- ers. It’s as simple as that. Take away a person’s hunger and they gain weight, right off.” Rappaport: “I’m told you'll be spending the night in Deer Valley. Will you be hob-nobbing with any movie stars or celebrities?” Lady Thatcher: “Just Stein Eriksen and Jon Huntsman. I’m told we will determine over cocktails whether it’s prudent to import styrofoam snow to Britain, or something equally as important.” @ by John Helton |
