| Show in chicago mrs wabash I 1 always said my laughter would make a name tor her elf mrs dearborn has she sho s made four she a got her ton in husband yonkers states man division of matters a e boned out fair division tl it leaves mother uses elbow grease daughter uses elbow sleeves N Y sun diplomatic refusal charlie old man lend me a dol ew days I 1 ill when I 1 come back from I 1 ranee di in t know you were going to I 1 ranee I 1 m not tit bits sorrow of it many a good man has forgotten that there s no place like home when the crook ie in his elbow and the beer is topped with foam cl cago da ly news disappointed mayme why did you allow him to turn down the gasa edyth oh merely out ot curiosity I 1 wanted to see it he would try to kiss me mayme and was your curiosity sat edyth I 1 should say not he only kissed me once chicago dally news THE MADNESS OF IT to spend a week at a summer resort i and catch a breeze on the wing the dapper eight per week young man will resort to anything cincinnati enquirer the truthful grocer what s that sign you re writing there asked the grocer freh eggs replied the assistant make it fresh laid eggs why everybody knows the eggs were fresh when they were laid exactly and all that its cafe tor us to say about them tit bits at ease how do you like your new house well answered mr cumrow it pleases mother and the girls but there are so many pictures and statues and vases that I 1 feel we ought to run a railing in front of each wall and hang hands off labels on it wash ington star he got it employer whose funeral do you want to attends office boy de umpire s N Y sun A PLENTY ethel that Is your first ancestor I 1 supposed 7 bobble oh no but when we got back to him we thought we d got enough of em you know chicago dally news exercise tor the iceman no wonder he feela sad and eore he has to rush though hot the day to get the lump beto e your door before it melts and runs away washington star his impression I 1 shall go to the arctic regions said the dauntless explorer well answered col stillwell of kentucky I 1 can t say I 1 care tor the arctic regions my impression of them Is a place with a whole lot of ice and nothing worth drinking to put it la washington star the heir of the head the father had gone away and left his only son in charge of the shop are you the head of the firma asked a man with a sample case en bering the no sir remarked the young man with great urbanity I 1 m only the heir of the head tit bits striving to please do you expect to raise any hay thia yeara not much answered anew ered mr corotos eel only jest enough to make the place look like a farm so s to satisfy the teelin s of the summer boarders washington star on the sofa keep your distance sir sure I 1 choose to keep this one cleveland leader sudden change of mind puffing and blowing the tat ger began to climb to the upper berth in the sleeping car pretty hard work lent if said the man in the lower berth it Is answered the fat passenger for a man of my weight how much do you weigh may I 1 ask hundred and eighty seven pounds hold on take this one ex claimed the other his hair beginning to rise on end I 1 d rather sleep in the upper berth anyway the venti lation Is better chicago tribune HAVE ALL EMIGRATED mr toured Is ethel s fiance a tor eign nobleman 7 mrs toured I 1 think not phe mel him in europe smallness the smallest man in the world went courting to show how very small he was let it be known that he laid neither 18 a dozen roses nor 3 a pound candy at the feet ot his intend ed but only a quantity ot 5 cents a paper popcorn of course he an impossible fellow declared love disgustedly in speaking 0 the affair later there positively gasn wasn t enough of him to make any kind ot fool of so what was I 1 to doa puck study not to blame I 1 think you would le your daughter study so hard that hei health was likely to be affected even tor the sake of being able to bradu ate oh it isn t studying that has mad her she has had such poor luch with the dressmaker chicago ord herald she referring to scandal case 1 should hate to be exposed like that the major urn yes I 1 these exposures are sometimes somewhat too pronounced nothing extraordinary the storekeeper of thrashers cor ners eek er so ago I 1 read UT a castaway on a ship allvin for 16 days on stewed rape yarn the lamer humph that sol S pose he affirms now thet be owes hie life tew havin been addicted tew th breakfast food habit puck uncle alien s helpful suggestion speaking of that girl who brok her arm while trying to fasten th middle button at the back of h shirt aalst said uncle alien sparks there isn t the slightest excuse foi such accident let an even num her of buttons always be sewed on th back of a shirt waist and there won de any middle button chicago tab une the forin the tinley girl but what make you think shea been used to good so cletys the brassy woman well dear 11 you notice she always says you to the servants and when sh kissi s you she never makes you tee as it she meant it he had been there old medical student are you look ing for new medical student yes old do do what do you want new do do no I 1 want to gel board in a private family old do do then you d beatter gc to miss over the way you 11 be bored to death there in lesi than a month like the indians bill 1 see that dried flies are ex ported in large quantities from this country to england they are chiefly collected in the southern and western states and are used in the making ol 01 chicken teed hlll it looks very much then as 11 the only good fly is a dead one yon kers statesman an impractical idea I 1 have a great idea this time said the cheery inventor A noiseless lawn no and what tun is there is a noise less lawn asked the capital 1st it wouldn t wake anybody up in the morning washington star |
