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Show 10A Sun Advocate Price, Utah Tuesday May 7, 2002 Food, fun and family: The trials of dining out with children Contributing writer It was my first day back at ' work following maternity leave. In an effort to be understanding, my boss invited me to bring my baby along to a breakfast meet ing at a restaurant. At the time, I simply appreciated her thought fulness. 1 heres nothing like the freeing sensation of not needing a babysitter. I dressed Alyssa in a classy pinkjumpsuit and headed off with high hopes and just a shred Of anxiousness. Hie meeting was an instant di- saster. Within ten minutes, ' be child proofed and there are many ways children can get in trouble in a restaurant. . She explains that both the food itself, the surrounding restaurant laughing at me behind her hand I wanted to go home and never see the inside of that restaurant By CAROLYN CAMPBELL Alyssa arched her back in protest of the restaurant high chair. started crying. Seconds later, I picked her up. Standing to hold and bounce my bjfby, I craned my neck to listen to my boss's words. The only thought that registered in my head was how stressful this breakfast was. Moments later, Alyssa calmed enough for me to hold her on my lap. Then she upended a plastic container of syrup, which spread across the table in a sticky goo that reached at least one colleagues notepad. I kinked up to see my office rival again. . Cheryl Wright, associate professor and director of the Child and Family Development Center in the department of Family and Consumer Studies at the University of Utah, tells me I'm not alone. She says that while dining out can definitely be a relaxing pleasure for adults and older children, many of us parents place ourselves in stressful situations where we hope our baby or toddler "will make it through the meal." I Icidi Baker, assistant director the Child and Family Development Center at the agrees. "When we take children out to cat, we often have unrealistic expectations. We place them in an adult environment and expect them to behave like an adult Wright explains thaC such expectations are not realistic considering the developmental level of the child. "It is. not the child's fault. Many restaurants are not geared ' to entertain very young children. The whole setting is not set up to Univer-sityofUt- . ah ARIES - 86 East 100 South 637-550- 0 atmosphere and the often lengthy socializing arent as important to a child as they are to adult For children under three, Wright suggests the following. "Choose fast food restaurants or other restaurants designed for young children, order takeout food or get a babysitter." She says that taking a baby or toddler to a typically .adult restaurant is simply unrealistic. "Stress is happening and nobody enjoys their meal. Often one person is standing with the baby while the other one eats. It can be and not releast.." in the laxing anxiety-provoki- Marilyn Macumber, early childhood program director for The Qiildrens Center- - agrees that it is hard for children under three to sit and wait very long, because they feel a need to move around. She agrees with Wrights suggestions and recommends offering a continuum of restaurant environments that begins with fast food and progresses to a casual family restaurant without a play place. "More upscale restaurants often require more waiting. Parents can start when the child is little with a fast food restaurant, then move to more complex settings after the child is successful in enjoying a fast food meal" Dontbe afraid to repeat a successful experience, Baker advises. "In the beginning, consider sticking with two or three restaurants that the child is familiar with." Wright suggests calling ahead to see if the restaurant has a children's menu, and also to get a sense of whether a particular restaurant welcomes children, so that people won't be resentful of family-or- iented Anniversary Celebration FREE Cake with every meal, rads May IT, 2002 Mothers Day Brunch Sunday, May 12 from 9am-lp- m Kids 4 and under eat FREE, 5 to 10 years $4.59 Reservations Recommended Only Lunch Mon-S- at Dinner 11:00-2:3- 4:00-Gos- 0 e aider ordering your childs din-- ; ner from the childs menu right ; away, even if you arent yet ready to order. This way, the child? wait will be shorter and he can ! begin eating rather than simply ; waiting. Wnght suggests adults ; forego the appetizera-- or order, one or more appetizers as yotif ' childs cmnplete meal. A la carte items, such as a baked potato or a salad, can be ordered as a childs meal if it is one of the childs favorite dishes. Buffets arc often a good choice for kids be- behave in acertain way," says Baker. An aspect of dining out that adults typically enjoy is socializing and relaxing. Children, however, become bored quickly without anything to attract their interest. "Children do not wait well. They need to be engaged in draw: ing with crayons, markers or other things that might entertain them while they are waiting," says Wright. Older children of age eight or more may enjoy taking a bode to read, or bringing plain paper and a pen to play games such as tic tac toe, hangman or dots. As children get older and have more so that you can trust them to sit through a meal without "losing it," dining out becomes a very important social experience. A restaurant is a dace to rehearse making chdoes, utilizing manners, exercising patience and interacting with others. While socializing and taking ones time is. wonderfully relaxing for adults, for kids, the slow pace is as tedious as. watching paint dry. As the minutes stretch endlessly, the child can become increasingly restless and firus- - . . cause food available almost im- -. mediately, children enjoy chooS--; ing among a variety of foods, and such restaurants usually offer 4 childrens price. Baker recalls her own chil: dren-ev- en when they were 17 and a bowl of cereal as the perfect snack. She comments that breakfast often works well meal for kids. Along as a dine-owith lower prices and faster service, kids often approve of breakfast meal choices. "Foods such as toast, cereal ut self-contr- ol ce All You Can Eat $995 8 oz. Steak and 6 oz. Lobster booths are often situated along the wall, rather than in the center of the room, they are out of the waiters way and the child has fewer distractions that might lead to fidgeting. Choosing to dine at a restaurants outdoor patio can relieve a parents stress. : "The parent doesnt feel quite as compelled to have the' child ' mealtoarrive."Always bring snacks or ask the waiter for crackers," says Wright. You may also want to consider having a Yehearsal dinner" at home, in which you play the waiter or waitress so that children can practice ordering and using their "restaurant voices." "Preparing the child in advance serves as a transition so he will be comfortable in knowing what to expect, and what is coming next, "says Baker. You may also want to help the childs meal go smoothly by bringing along a bib, training cup, silverware. or child-siz- e If you arrive at the restaurant earlier than the majority of other diners, the wait is likely to be shorter and there is less charice of offending someone with a low level. Also, if you choose to eat at least half an hour before your childs regular meal time, he will be less restless and hunger wont add to his impatience level. "Children will be less irritable if they arent pushed to the limit of their hunger," says Baker. Baker recommends choosing a booth, rather than a table, so that the child will have more room to move around without - trated, lb avoid a long, boring1 wait time, you may want to con: , actually leaving his seat Because the fact that you have children with you. Are high chairs, booster seats,'crayons and crackers available? You might also consider asking how long it typically takes to get served once an order is taken. Although some three year olds are still too young, Wright says preschoolers, can leam to wait a short time for their and pancakes are non-spic- . y along with being easy for the child to eat," says Baker. Leaving soon after the meal is over rather than lingering to chat is another way to avoid the child becoming boned and getting into , trouble. Last month, I enjoyed a meal that reminded me of what a din-- ; ing out experience really can be : My twenty-tw- o year old son arid his fiancee chose to get married in Hawaii. The brides mother brilliantly coordinated a myriad of details: where we would stay, tours we would take, pre-orderi- ng a bridal Irouquet; boutouneires and orchid leis fof the parents. Still, we all held our breath, hoping it wouldnt rahy longing for nuptials in paradise. W tlieGET my finances is, SOf. op-::0- m . . : v,:-- ' ?' -- - .... --:.:?&? 1 , t CINDY COOLEY, WEST VALLEY CITY, UTAH V'V 4? you DONT HAVETO GET A FINANCIAL CHECKUP. ba ZIONS CUSTOMERTO COT HERS. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?V FEE-FRE- 10-POI- E CINDY. COOLEY - . ' - V .. . " . case something . Z. my cibdif union offers anything Glee continued this, Cindy. There was no cost said I donY need to be a member.' Zions And, So I thought, what have I got to lose? So Cindy stopped by a Zions branch. Her experience?. It went feally well They gave me a booklet to go through and figure everything out. Then, armed with her existing financial Financial Checkup; I did it to make sure I had everything in line in happened to me" explained Cindy. "Besides, I didnlt have a will and I wanted to .. make sure my daughter was taken care of. her finances in order is something !. a Getting ' Cindy hat wanted to do for a long tune. "L ; dont think Cindy Cooley, a single mother from West Wiley City Utah, wanted a financial plan for the future, but wasnt quite sure how to go it. Then she heard about Zions Bank's about , nt ; . information, Cindy returned to the bank for her checkup appointment with Branch Manager Lori Handing. She just sat down with me and asked ' a lot of questions," said Cindy; explaining further that it was much easier than die thought it would be, and there was no obligation or pressure. She just made suggestions.... I felt very relaxed." When asked if she would recommend the Si S' Everything went grcat-exc- ept my , son lost his wedding ring while , snorkeling three days after the wedding. That night, we all dined together at a classy seafood restaurant where the fish is never more than four hours old.. Both t the wedding and the tension were'; over. We all felt free to laugh, com--' ment on the food, andtalk about! any subject we chose. There was: a spirit of bonding, with both the!; shared experience of eating io-- ; gether and the freedom of ex-changing conversation in a re-laxed setting. Now that our chfl-- i dren were married, we were, in, a sense, all one family. I noticed; that after our dinner out together,; we all felt freer to converse with me another than we ever had! before. t In her book, "Remedies Fqt; The I Dont Cook Syndrome,"; Salt Lake author Janet Peterson states that eating dinner together! as a family provides more than! good nutrition; it enables famityt members to share their days with; each other, to relax, laugh, dis--; cuss issues, socialize arid! strengthen familiar relationship! !' ySavingsPU . - , , v- '; ?4 Investment -- checkup to others, Cindy said, Definitely! , I've told my parents about it and my brother and listen. It feels greatlhcteli a lot of. . comfort knowing I Ve done it To look into your personalized, obligation-fre- e checkup A fee-free, whether or not you bank with Zions call or stop in at the nearest .btanch today 1 CONGRATULATIONS ZIONS BANK? t maOTTEN KEEPS US IN Ci.iy Amanda Butler for earning your Bachelor degree from Southern Utah University We are proud of you. IOSINESj.r ., Cooley io4 fctr ttiugkMr AIcxu Love, . - ilMOiioaotaofbiMoioaioSarSiIoiM WiySiiiU MoOli-- nxchfi Qr, W- ' oUo ::t 1 v - . Mom, Ellis Blake & Cameron .j. V . . |