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Show THE SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, January 24. 2001 - Page 4 cloud on gentle breezes and Bluff is full of hot air (balloons) safely back to Mother Earth. And my fears were not calmed much, when they told me that we were actually going up in a wicker basket. I was hoping after hundreds of years and new high tech materials that we would have made some improvements in what hot air balloon baskets are made of. I mean, come on, we arent still using the abacus or slide rule! My was recently on assignment in BlufT at the Bluff International Balloon Okay, so I am I Festival. Okay, I talked my way into a free hot air balloon ride. But dont think for one minute that I would stoop to putting byGaryTorres (GO TO BLUFF) cheap advertising gimmicks into my column or inserting subliminal messages into my column. Sure I had to promise not to mention that I got my tickets from some unknown source (CINDY TUMEH) who made it very clear that I was not to mention her name. And besides we here at the San Juan Record' are journalists strict code of ethics (VISIT BLUFF) that that follow a precludes us from receiving gifts that would influence or bias (FOR A GOOD TIME GO TO BLUFF) our reporting of strictly factual information. I know that I personally could never be so blatant (BLUFF... LIKE MOAB BUT WITHOUT THE YUPPIES) as to cheapen my column as to giving away favors just because someone gave me a hot air balloon ride. No siree I just dont think (BLUFF ROCKS) that I, as a journalist of the highest caliber, could do that. I mean who would write subliminal messages (BLUFF IS WARM) into a newspaper column anyway and really think his readers would fall for that. So there are a few problems with riding a hot air balloon; the first is you have to get up early if you want to see breath just a little always returns softly and just long for Jim piercings, tatoos, anything to do with chicken blood, sacrifices of virgins to the Wind Gods, or otherwise drinking significant quantities of the until, say... death was imminent, would not be allowed as my too kind and loving wife would be very upset with me, especially, since we would always be fighting over who gets to wear the ear rings. There is nothing that compares to the floating on a cloud sensation up in a balloon. And the crew, they of myself as Scotty and that any rights of passage" that include multiple body scared of heights... no, I am a lot scared of heights and was just a little nervous about going up in a balloon. This irrational fear of going in a balloon is based on experiences imprinted on my mind as a child and therefore magnified significantly. Like in the Wizard of Oz when the great and powerful Oz started floating away and he couldnt stop the balloon and poor experience with Dorothy and Ibto were left to wicker furniture, figure out their own ride home. is that it doesnt Well that image kept going last. What if you through my mind... I mean... I are way up there knew that I wasnt in Kansas and lets say lied (or Monticello) anymore, but I someone their had promised my too kind and about loving wife that I would be weight by a few back in time for the basketball pounds (which I game. Besides I still dont like wouldnt do). Is those flying monkeys, and the the bottom of the wicked witch... Ill get you my wicker basket little deary. Whooooeeew, it going to fall out and I go plunging still gives me the chills. The second factor of my down until THUMP... I hit the irrational fear is based upon ground? It is not the plunging my experience blowing up down I am worried about, it is balloons for my kids birthday the THUMP part... it sounds parties. You know, when you like it might hurt. There was another first blow up a balloon and you are timer that was going to be to and tie you it, trying with us. They called us and riding let the go accidently I believe is a which balloon flies all over the room virgins term used until... loosely describing doing smack it hits the wall... and one that has never gone up in drops lifelessly to the ground. a balloon. She made me Well those big rock walls in promise that I wouldnt use Valley of the Gods looked her name... so rest assured Kelly (McAndrews) that it will awfully hard. So it is early Saturday be our little secret. All virgins morning and I meet the crew are put through an initiation that I am going to float ritual. with... my fears were only compounded. First, they were nursing significant amounts of a controlled caffeine, substance here in Utah, and loop-de-loo- Okay, so I am a wuss when it comes to pain, but I explained fruit-of-the-vi- thought I should be in charge of the reactor, which in this case was the little button that when pressed shoots a flame five foot tall into the balloon to heat the air. I kept pressing the button to shoot out more flames Aye' Capn... Im givin ya all shes got, were just not ready for warp speed yet! Okay, so he had to hang me over the basket upside down by my ankles until I promised that I wouldnt touch any more buttons. These captains now days are sooooo picky. We all had a wonderful time. Upon safely returning to the ground, the crew conducted a ceremony that I am not free were actually wonderful and to discuss in a family only had to look newspaper. At first you might things up in the just think Bluff is a quiet little manual one time. town nestled along the banks Jim of the San Juan River, but let Captain me tell you these folks know (Perry), how to have a good time. And Clare I ate Navajo Tacos at the answered all my you-da-ma- n. (Wade-Calliha- n) questions like, What happens when I push this button or pull this rope? The answer to the rope question, I found out opens the parachute which releases all the hot air and we all go plummeting downward faster than the stock market. That sure gave everyone a chance to practice their emergency drills. At least in my mind, riding ps in the balloon had many similarities to zipping along in the Star Ship Enterprise with Captain James T. Kirk. Well first, you know James is really school that were delicious, listened to Michael Lacapa tell enchanting stories, ate a sauteed mushroom burger to die for at Twin Rocks, and even went to the dance. Okay, the people I went to the dance with didnt know how to party very well, so I had to take them home, but you better make your reservations for next year. Ill be there ifI get another free hot air balloon ride... hint You can (especially bet hint). NORIWERNIEIIECJRIC Serving San Juan County Since 1957 Licensed Electrical Contractor looking like they werent morning people. And, as it turns out, they are kind of famous in the balloon circuit, for goofing around and having views of rise sun so much fun and being so the taking over Valley ofthe Gods. I dont disorganized that their balloon know if any of you know this, is called Its a Zoo. I was but its dark out there when going up in a balloon, called Its a Zoo. This is true! Why you get up early. And secondly, it would seem that you should couldnt I go with the crew that not have an irrational fear of was called the Aeolos which iB Greek for something like heights, like I do. The balloon that floats like a ne so our same the had first Captains name, Jim. And then I am an engineer, so I kind of thought Commercial David Johnson 678-237- Residential Eric Johnson PAULR. 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