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Show I AVAAWiJ'A' But for some reason Qover refused to wear a patch or be fitted for a glass eye, so he walked around with a big, gaping black, hollow socket The first time I saw him, he scared file hell out of me. He was perfect in the part of Cover the Killer. They shot him every night for more than 20 years. When he finally died in real life, he had it down pat I spent a summer in Jackson, more than 20 yean ago, pumping gas at Harold's Standard. Harold was a pretty conservative guy, didn't much care for hippies, and said he'd hire me if I got a haircut I didn't like the idea but I was broke so I went for a trim. T told yuh I'd give yuh a job if yuh got a haircut; yuh doin' back?" 1 just got a haircut; Harold." "Oh yeah? Which hair did he cut?" He and the staff of Harold's Standard thought that was pretty funny. Two haircuts later, I had a job; I didn't cut my hair again for a year and a half. Cowboys came in and out of the station all the time. Taciturn Cowboy Tom Fortune frequently stopped by to fix flats. His tractor tires were on split rims and a pain in file ass to break apart I watched him spend two hours hying to fix a split rim flat with a broken arm ("Mule kicked me."). But he persevered until he got file job done. I wasn't allowed to fix flats. They tried to teach me, but one the day I put an Inverted rim on the machine wrong-sideubead iron popped off five core bar and flew across the lube bay. I missed putting a permanent crease in Harold's skull by a couple of inches. "Boy. You just pump gas and wash their windows. Can yuh do that without killin' anybody?" I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure if a cowboy wouldn't kill me; they were just obsessed with this hair thing. Travis Tritt wouldn't have lasted five minutes in that town in those days. One night, a young cowpoke came by for two dollars worth of regular, and as I squeegeed his windshield I could see the glint of malevolence in his eyes. He was watching me closely and as we walked inside to get change and I couldn't help but feel his stare on the back of my head. I handed him three ones and he squinted at my freshly-shor- n head from beneath his Stetson and said, "You know boy, if yore hair was any longer..J'd have to punch you out" At that moment I knew I owed Harold and the barber my life. "Well I guess fids is my lucky day. You don't like long hair huh?" "I don't like hippies, boy. This guy calling me "boy" was about 19 years old. And I was a border-lin- e "hippie without a hair on my head longer than an inch. He continued... "Did you ever hear about the big fight between file cowboys bay-.What- 're p, . . ..., ..;. and the hippies at the Cowboy Bar? Well you're lookin' at the man who started that fight" His mother must be very proud, I thought, if he could just keep his Red Man Chew from trickling down his chin. That's fascinating," I said. Tell me what happened." "Well, I was in there with my little gal, Belinda. We was at the bar, cause there waren't no place to sit And then I saw this dirty hippie sitting at a table with this filthy old black hat pulled down over his head. It just riled me. We was stand In' and he was sittin.' I walked over there, pulled his hat off his head and put my fist in his face. He went right over backwards in his chair. So then the hippies lined up on one side of the room and us cowboys lined up on the other. There was about six of them and twenty of us. Twenty to six.. J guess the cowboys won. "Son... we was out to win." Whatever that meant He ambled back to his truck on legs bowed like a wishbone (and only 19. He's probably six Inches shorter today). Take it easy," I said. He flashed a cocky grin and we both replied, Til take it any way I can get it (All the cowboys said that bade then. It got to be a little predictable.) long-hair- Last year they tore down the gas station and built some more boutiques. I don't know what became of Harold or Tom Fortune or the young cowboy with an extreme aversion to hippies. And while it may sound to you like I'm poking a bit of fun at these hombres, the truth is, I miss them. I miss the diversity even if it results in a little culture dash. In fed; I like culture dash. And that's why I fear for Moab's future. I'd hate to see us end up like that, where the only sign of cowboys and uranium miners is in the Dan O'Laurie Museum. When Birkenstocks and Tevas completely replace clodhoppers and cowboy boots, I'm outta here. Urgent Correction Last issue I mentioned file gift of a bicycle from Poison Spider which was delivered to my doorstep by Anthony, the comanager. However I said that Anthony unloaded the bike out of the back of a pickup truck. I didn't actually see this event; I just assumed it was delivered by such means. Well, I should have known better. Anthony, the bikeahollc, towed foe bicycle to my house behind his own bike. I have no idea how he did this, but because it's Anthony, it must be true. Please forgive me for this egregious error. a Name. Address. (INCLUDE 9 DIGIT ZIP) PLEASE READ THIS: The P.O. will not forward 3rd Class maiL If you do not send us a change of address, we cannot be responsible for issues you did not receive. Subscriptions must begin with the next issuebaclc issues are available for $2.50 each. Those readers who choose to take disadvantage of the multi-yea- r counts do so at their own risk. There is no guarantee that the world will be here in three years, much less this publication. The Zephyr nay (till make yon its (till not the ink. WE USE NON-TOXI- C SOY INK a Send Subscriptions to: P.O. BOX 327, MOAB, UT 84532 THE USUAL SUSPECTS. L Long-Legge- DEPUTIES. DEAD MEN. NAKED LADIES RUSTY MUSSELMAN 6 A tribute to Canyonlands most lovable relic. By Dink PACE 12 Fridgff THIRD PARTY? FIRST LETS GET A GENUINE SECOND PARTY. Author DAVID SWIFT isn't even sure we have ONE real ..P AGE 18 political party MOAB IN A NUTSHELL --PAGE 4 CHARLIE PETERSON gives us the Code of the West, remembers Glen Canyon, and asks Who's to Blame for Moab Growth. TWISTED TABLOID with Dan O'Conno-rNobody Wins! PAGE 7 PAGE M THE WATCHDOG with Ken Rait 6 Dave Pacheco HERB RINGER'S TRIP ACROSS THE 28 AMERICAN WEST-PA- GE Herb leaves Death Valley headed for the Grand Canyon. THE UNITY MONUMENT AROUND THE BEND Albert Christensen's tribute to FDR and Willkie and its BY KEN SLEIGHT. To collaborate or not (with the BLM). ignoble end. By Stiles RATS IN A BOX -- PAGE 20 What we could do to reduce our population in the next 100 PAGE 22 MEANINGLESS PUBLIC PARTICIPATION Part 2 of OWEN SEVERANCES critique of the US. Forest Service .flu fwm, - PAGE 26 And San Juan County's educational nightmare. SUBJECT TO CHANGE-PA- 2 years but probably won't ill but 259-777- d From his 1969 collection of essays. The House, WENDELL BERRY wonders if we are capable of ...PAGE 8 enjoying nature without destroying it .1 year for only SISlOO Twelve issues (2 years)$28j)0 Eighteen issues (3 years).HM)0 Six issues HELP WANTED Im lookiag far lomcou who is familiar with the sew Postal Service balk mailiag process to mail aabscriptioos every two months. Tm also ia search of a aew typistaboiit 4 hosrsissae. 3 CALL or Write the Zephyr THE NATURE CONSUMERS .m THE ZEPHYR ed THE FEATURES. I yjijiuiil SUBSCRIBE TO GE 24 CHERIE GILMORE IS BACKL Why would anybody want to be president? Or a president's wife? THE MONTH IN PICTURES FEEDBACK PAGE 35 PAGE 37 PAGE 30 rftWiiYiMiii |
